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Adoption

My gorgeous DS is with his "forever family"

92 replies

StupidMistakes · 08/11/2013 20:56

My gorgeous ds aged three is with his forever family and has been for sometime now, I have had to fight to get to meet his new family, but finally a date for early has been made, my issue however is that I still don't know if I am allowed to take anyone for support. The adopters have their social worker present as well as each other, my ds has his social worker but obviously he wont be present and I, well I have asked to take either my best friend or a solicitor to the meeting as I feel that I am the only one without any support, and I don't want to miss anything, I know this is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I have fought so hard to get to meet them, they have also asked for a picture of me with the adopters for his life story book. I don't really know what to expect at the meeting and wondered if anyone had any experience?

TIA

OP posts:
KristinaM · 30/11/2013 17:53

I hope it goes well and that your friend is close by to support you .

Lilka · 30/11/2013 18:27

I really hope the meeting goes well, and you like the adoptive parents

You will be in my thoughts

StupidMistakes · 30/11/2013 22:08

My best friend is going to be waiting down stairs for me, we are then going for a coffee, picking up her Little one from school and dropping her to nannys n going for a meal, with desert, stuff the diet Tuesday I am gonna need desert, one of my flatmates will be off work the following day which will mean I wont be all alone, and I can talk to him if I need to tho I think I will be ok. I can phone my best friend any time I need to and if I want always go and see her. she only lives ten mins away on the bus so its not far

OP posts:
roadwalker · 01/12/2013 09:37

I hope it all goes well
I didn't know if I should post this or not because I wouldn't want to give you false hope
I have always been accepting of a more open adoption and did consider direct contact with my DD's BM. It has not been possible for many reasons including her unreliability and volatility but we have initiated DC with other family members
I believe that, if it safe, it is beneficial to all parties and (hopefully) will help my DD with her sense of identity in the future
So, you don't know what the future will bring- we were a couple of years into adoption before I was ready to consider DC
I truly hope you find peace and the meeting is beneficial x

StupidMistakes · 02/12/2013 10:18

I am hoping they will see me and realise im not volatile or hateful towards them in the slightest, more than that I am grateful that they are prepared to take my little boy and love him like he were their own, though it breaks my heart it cant be me to give him that love. The only thing I ask is they don't change his first name and if he asks did I love him, they tell him that I did, to the stars and back, but mummy couldn't look after him like he needed.

OP posts:
Mellowandfruitful · 02/12/2013 10:48

I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Be strong and tell the adoptive parents what you have said above. Lean on your friends afterwards - I am glad there will be people around for you.

Kewcumber · 03/12/2013 17:29

Thinking of you today. I hope it has gone as well as it possibly could for you.

Helpyourself · 03/12/2013 17:32

Another one here thinking of you and hoping you are feeling supported.

CommanderShepard · 03/12/2013 17:43

Just read your story; I hope everything went as well as it possibly could. Lots of love.

omuwalamulungi · 03/12/2013 17:46

Just found your thread and couldn't read it without letting you know how brave I think you are being.

I hope that it all went as well as it could have today.

TweetPetite · 03/12/2013 18:16

Dearest StupidMistakes. I so wish it had been different for you but you are so brave and doing such an important thing. I hope today was as good as it could have been and your best friend has given you the hugs and love you deserve. Lots of love

Pancakeflipper · 03/12/2013 18:23

I hope today gave you what you hoped for SM and much more. It must have been heartbreaking but I hope a sense of peace follows for you. Take care you.

msrisotto · 03/12/2013 18:44

This is heartbreaking to read. I hope you're ok x

roadwalker · 03/12/2013 19:07

I hope you are OK and the meeting went well

JanePurdy · 03/12/2013 20:01

This thread has been so heartbreaking to read - I hope your meeting went okay. I hope it has given you some peace.

Bananaketchup · 03/12/2013 20:23

Thinking of you, hope it went as well as possible today.

Italiangreyhound · 03/12/2013 21:00

Thinking of you.

StupidMistakes · 03/12/2013 22:53

Thank you for everyones well wishes. The meeting went amazingly well, there was tears from both me and his forever mum, his forever dad was there as well, they are a really lovely couple and clearly adore my ds. It hurt and was emotional, but it has also put my mind to rest. They reassured me that little man will always know about me, and know that I love him. He is doing well and settling well and talking more which is all good.

Its been an emotional day and my best friend has been there to lean on through it all. It makes it easier to concentrate on me now having met them, learnt a bit about them and being able to move forward, they wouldn't change his first or middle name which I will be eternally grateful for, because he knows his first name and will say I am littlemiracle. I am glad he has adoptive parents that are going to love him. They said to keep them posted and they will me, and also to look after myself. We had a picture and I hugged both of them, both me and his forever mum were in tears,

I just hope my ex has the same strength to meet them as well, but that has to be his decision

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 03/12/2013 22:55

Well done you xxx. That sounds incredibly hard but totally beneficial for you, the forevers and for your boy.

You have done him very proud by doing that meeting.

WireCatGlitteryBaubles · 03/12/2013 23:01

Oh my lovely xxx

I can't imagine what you're going through.

Flowers

roadwalker · 03/12/2013 23:02

That sounds so positive, I am so glad

StupidMistakes · 03/12/2013 23:02

thank you so much. I have faced the hardest days of my life in the last year. surely its got to get easier next year.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 03/12/2013 23:03

SM well done, honey, you did something totally difficult for your little one. I am sure it will make a big difference. Please make the very best of your life, all the good chances you get, whatever it is, for that little boy's sake. You sound amazing and strong and I really hope and pray you will have a bright future. Thinking of you.

queenofthepirates · 03/12/2013 23:13

I don't know your story but I do admire your calm bravery. You sound amazing and I wish you well. xx

weirdthing · 03/12/2013 23:18

Bless you xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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