Zoom. They slagged me off, not realising I could hear.

[OnceIWasAnApe]

Long-time poster, namechanged.


Aaaaargh.

I am self-employed and am currently working for a company as part of a team of five people. I've been working with them for a few months, and have a few months left.

We are working over zoom this week, but will be meeting face to face from next week onwards. Today, I dialled into a meeting and the rest of the group obviously didn't realise I was present. They were slagging off the work I'd done before Christmas (basically saying I am too keen and so do things too quickly before it's time.) Whilst I do see that I was more keen than the rest of them, I think that this comes more from a gossipy, bitchy, offhand sort of chat, and I don't think that they really think I'm a bad worker.

I feel HORRIBLE.

I don't know why I'm posting really.

[unmarkedbythat]

I'd not be able to pretend I hadn't heard and would contact them directly to ask for details of their concerns regarding my work.

[GypsyLee]

They aren't your employer if you are self employed.
If they are your employer you aren't self employed.
You could always report them, not like you are going to be there for long anyway.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

As a freelancer you are hired to do a job/perform certain tasks, not make friends with the staffers. If your current place is anything like mine (creative industry as well) your most important asset apart from your skills is your reputation.

People talk to others informally outside their own workplaces and compare notes all the time. For that reason I would advise you to try and pretend you heard nothing on that Zoom call and do your level best to outshine the gossipers at every opportunity

[Eckhart]

This sounds pathetic, but I was a bit gutted at the giggly tone used by them- It felt like being at school

They're children. Be a child and get drawn into their drama, or be an adult, keep doing your job well, and move on.

Your choice.

[Gunpowder]

As a fellow freelancer I agree with Eurotrashed too and I would ignore this and not make waves.

It can’t have been nice to hear but I’d take as a complement that your speedy work is showing them up. Also if you have good feedback from the bosses that’s what matters. People are often gossipy and a bit bitchy as a way of bonding. It doesn’t make it ok but I wouldn’t take it to heart.

[SoupnSalads]

How is saying you are keen and do things before their time a bad thing? Surely its a good thing?

[TonMoulin]

@BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted

As a freelancer you are hired to do a job/perform certain tasks, not make friends with the staffers. If your current place is anything like mine (creative industry as well) your most important asset apart from your skills is your reputation.

People talk to others informally outside their own workplaces and compare notes all the time. For that reason I would advise you to try and pretend you heard nothing on that Zoom call and do your level best to outshine the gossipers at every opportunity

That with bells on.

It’s not the colleagues that are going to hire you but your current boss and anyone THEY are talking to (Aka other bosses).

[SoupnSalads]

Agree with Pps i was telling my Dad today how someone gave me a hissed breath at work and he said forget it, he would have if it happened to him and he worked 50 years as a consultant. Stay a step away from the negativity.

[TonMoulin]

@OnceIWasAnApe you remind me an occasion when I got told that I wasn’t doing my job properly.

What they meant was that it was taking them a full day to create a document and I was doing 3~4 of them in the same time. Just because I had created a master document instead if tediously coping the same stuff over and over again.

People moan when they feel threaten. And they feel threatened when someone comes up and does a better job and shows how much they have been plodding along all the time.

[Lampzade]

Op, please ignore them
Be polite, do your work to the best of your ability and earn your money
As long as your bosses are happy with your work who gives a fuck about anyone else

[Friendswithwhenifits]

My advice would be to stay calm and professional, don’t let it get under your skin and style it out. I’ve made the mistake of getting upset and sulking in the past and it didn’t end well. By all means drop a phrase that they used into the conversation at some point to let them know that you know but let your control, professionalism and resolve ensure that you have a long term successful career. Sometimes groups do this to “test the waters” of how you would react to being bullied so be careful to show your strength and not your weakness. But you achieve more with sweetness than with bitterness.

[kwiksavenofrillsusername]

As a freelancer myself, I’d try to rise above it. I’ve had a couple of situations like this. The bosses like you, but the team are cliquey and perhaps see you as a bit of a threat. I just try to keep things professional and detached, and if I hate a certain workplace, I aim to get out of there as soon as the job is done.

I temporarily went back to a 9-5 job about five years ago for a year, and it’s amazing how different it is to do a job as a permanent member of staff. There’s so much faffing, meetings, politics etc. It’s no surprise that as an independent contractor, you can focus and be so much more efficient.

[Landofthefree]

I agree with pp who say ignore them. In fact, I’d take it as a compliment that you are doing your work more efficiently than the permanent staff.

[ThePlantsitter]

Yes my advice to say something or allude to it is wrong. You should definitely stay schtum. You don't have take work on from there again though.

[Butchyrestingface]

They were slagging off the work I'd done before Christmas (basically saying I am too keen and so do things too quickly before it's time.)

I think one of your colleagues posted on here yesterday, @OnceIWasAnApe. Don't worry, she knows she's a cow.

On the bright side, at least they didn't slag off your wall-mounted TV or the size of your house. **

[stovetopespresso]

@BottleFlipper

I'd tell them you've heard there's been comments made about your performance on a Zoom call then let them suspect each other of being the leak...

i like this idea, turning their negativity against them!! sneaky....

[Freewheelingoryx]

This is really awful op, no wonder you feel upset, although if you are going to be slagged off then "too keen" is a good criticism. The feeling of everyone giggling behind your back is really unpleasant though. This was very unprofessional of them and ime this sort of thing tends to come from the top down, as management usually sets the tone of the organisation. Having said all of that, I would also try and think objectively if their criticisms of you have any merit. (I am not saying that they do, just that it's always good to consider honest feedback.)

I wouldn't write e-mails or take it to management or cryptically use their words in conversation (which might be lost on them). I'd address it head on in a meeting where you are all present. Just calmly and clearly state (without any visible signs of upset) that you heard them talking you about you on Zoom and while you are always open to receiving constructive feedback, it's best addressed directly to your face? So could they please discuss the reasons behind it? By behaving graciously and openly and appearing willing to take any criticism on board, you appear professional and a good team player, and while addressing it head on, it shows you are not a pushover.

[LH1987]

It was just gossip,and it was unprofessional but I doubt it was even meant to be negative about you, just them rolling their eyes about how quick the consultant is doing the work. They didn’t say anything about your personality etc. I wouldn’t give it another thought to be honest.

[sneakysnoopysniper]

Many years ago a work colleague invited everyone but me to her house warming. I turned up anyway with a bottle of wine and even proposed a toast to her new flat! I waited for her to challenge me and even had a reply ready. But of course she could not say anything in front of the other guests but I know I spoiled her evening.

When I discussed this with two other workmates they suggested that when I left I organize a night out and invite everyone but her. However I walked up to a group of which she was a part and announced the arrangements, saying that "Everyone was invited. "

We were meeting in a pub and going on to a club afterwards. I made a point of saying that those who did not fancy the club were still welcome to join us for drinks as it was not my habit to leave people out. My workmate (the one with the party) turned on her heel and walked off without a word. I never spoke to her again.

On the night out in the pub she was the only one who did not appear and became the subject of some very unflattering gossip.

Revenge can be a very satisfying dish.

[WombatChocolate]

The reason it makes you feel horrible is because no-one likes to think others are saying things about them behind their back.

The reality, is people have these conversations all the time...it’s just usually not on Zoom and the person being talked about doesn’t hear the comments.

To be honest, there’s nothing to be gained from raising the fact you heard. Making a fuss about them speaking about you just sounds a bit juvenile and won’t achieve anything but awkwardness. I think you just need to rise above it. Don’t give too much thought to the comments themselves and be glad that actually the comments were not the worst comments you could have heard by any means....in lots of ways, you being keen and a hard worker is a good thing. It would be far worse to hear everyone thinks you’re lazy and crap at your job.

In the end, they aren’t really your friends and they don’t need to be. Although it leaves a bad taste in your mouth, just rise above it and do the best job you can. Try not to treat those people differently ...okay, you’ll probably be a bit more wary of them now and not see them as ‘friends’ but they don’t need to be more than colleagues.

It is possible that someone did know you were in that meeting and heard the comments. It is possible someone will raise the issue with you. If that happens, I would probably acknowledge that yes you did hear the comments and was a bit disappointed, but I would also be careful not to make it a big thing, because I don’t think that will really help in this situation. Ride it out and it will all be forgotton (if they know about it) in a week or so. You might not forget it so quickly, but although it really isn’t nice and shouldn’t happen, in reality it does all the time and is one of those things we have to live with. There will be times when something like this happens which is very unpleasant and really does need raising with management...but it’s one of those things that you need to make a judgement call on and decide if it’s best to let go or make an issue if it...it isn’t always best to. Personally in this situation, I probably wouldn’t.

[Daydrambeliever]

Don't you have to be "let in" to a zoom meeting? If that's the case then at least one of them certainly knew you were there!

[viccytwiffy]

use it.. you have the upper hand... you need to be confident.. they were being unprofessional... tell them you have bad news.... type the script of the conversation if you had recorded it... and use it!!!! knowledge is power!

[CupoTeap]

It's easy not to notice people have signed in if you've toggled into something else whilst waiting

[WombatChocolate]

And yes, in business and when working with lots of different companies, you do need to develop a fairly thick skin. It’s no good being devastated by every little sleight in life and feeling you need to raise a grievance and have it out.

There is a time for doing this, but most issues are not it. Instead, being able to quickly move on and not be too affected is pretty crucial. Those who get on in the workplace quickly learn popularity isn’t what it’s about. Gossip in the workplace isn’t a good thing but it’s a reality and most managers will have been spoken about negatively by their workers at some point. Usually they won’t hear it, but if they do they just have to accept it’s one of the things that comes with management. People often don’t love the people who line manage them, or those who are doing better than them in the workplace. People sometimes gossip too about personal appearance or personality or all kinds of things which can be really very unpleasant. There can be a time to escalate such issues but also a time to ignore them.

Some people take offence extremely easily. There are countless threads on MN about people being offended by teachers or friends or family who have done all kinds of minor things. Often those responding call for formal complaints, people to be sacked, people to be cut off etc etc....pretty extreme reactions. They are unable to rise above things and move on quickly but seem to take easy and deep rooted offence at very little. These are the people who usually struggle in life and find it hard to get perspective and distinguish between serious and minor issues and dwell on the very little things. To be honest, what happened today wasn’t very pleasant, but it was a fairly little thing and you can choose to move on from it.

[CheetasOnFajitas]

@Daydrambeliever

Don't you have to be "let in" to a zoom meeting? If that's the case then at least one of them certainly knew you were there!

No, depends on the settings. With some you can go straight in.

OP, I could easily imagine myself saying something like “oh God, Betty is really showing me up, getting everything done so quickly” and it actually being a criticism of myself, not Betty. You know what the tone was, so you’ll know if that interpretation is a possibility but, as others have said, probably better just to let things lie, especially as you are not permanent staff.

However in a way you have gained an advantage by overhearing this- you are under no illusions about how they feel, and if you do want to curry favour with them then you can maybe start being a bit more discreet when you finish things quickly, or perhaps dropping comments into conversation about how you are conscious that contractors’ positions are always precarious so you tend to try to appear to your bosses to be as keen as you possibly can.