Dishwasher loading /unloading - not same person?

[russetred]

In our house, we generally agree that family members should share household chores. Some are permanently assigned (I do all the laundry, DH does all the food shopping, for example) and some are more flexible.

So, the dishwasher! I generally think that the person who rinses the dishes, loads the dishwasher and sets it running shouldn't then also have to be the person who unloads it and puts it away, and I thought this was a fairly common viewpoint but DH disagrees. He said he wanted evidence of this being a commonly held idea. So I thought I'd check what the good folks of Mumsnet think!

[H1978]

We load our dishwasher throughout the day as I am at home and dh comes for lunch. The older two dds are responsible to emptying the dishwasher every morning, before they go to school and I do it on the weekends as they have a lie-in. It seems fair as I do all the cooking, laundry and cleaning whilst they are at school. I suppose it’s whatever works in your house.

[russetred]

Thanks, everyone - some useful thoughts here. I guess in our house it tends to go on at night after dinner; the person who cooks doesn't have to wash up, and it's the person who washes up and tidies the kitchen after dinner who puts all the last bits in the dishwasher and sets it going. We just rinse the stuff that has any food bits on it, like wee bits of spaghetti, broccoli, cereal etc. that are too small to scrape into food compost bin.

There's definitely some dishes and things getting left by the side of the sink during the day, so when you combine that with the end of the evening kitchen tidy, that's maybe why loading it feels like a definite 'job' for someone. Perhaps we need to make sure everyone puts their own stuff in during the day more! Cheers folks.

[BackforGood]

Now there's just the 2 of us most of the time, then I agree with the first post - you put things in as you go along, and whoever puts the things in to make it full, sets it off. I don't see "loading the dishwasher" as a separate job really, you just sort of do it as you finish with something. Sometimes you might have some things to go in tat were used whilst it was washing the last cycle.

Then it is emptied by whoever happens to notice it is finished, when they are in the kitchen waiting for kettle to boil, or if they go to put something in but it needs emptying.

When we had dc at home though, it was the job done by the person that hadn't cooked and hadn't laid the table / got everyone a drink.

[Floralnomad]

In our house I do all the loading as we go through the day and whoever gets up first empties it .

[EerilyDeleted]

Well, ours always seems to be full or near enough after dinner (we do all load our own stuff from the table as we go but DH puts in pans etc from the kitchen and any mugs or glasses that have been left out for re-use during the day so it just goes on then. It can't usually go on after breakfast or lunch as that would mean leaving it on when we go out which is too much of a fire risk.

[wellerhugs5]

We argue over decide whose turn it is to load/unload depending on who last loaded or unloaded the dishwasher.
We both hate doing it.
Another one we try is, 'I've done it the last 2 times, I'm not doing it again'
Then I see how long I can leave the mess in the kitchen before I crack.

Actually, I do it 80% of the time.

Bollocks.

[Nessalina]

I once read a great suggestion on a similar thread, where a MNer said they had a method whereby everyone loaded their own plates in to the dishwasher as they used them so nothing stood out on the side. If you put the last plate in making it full you put it on. If you arrived at the dishwasher to put a plate/cup into it, and found it full of clean dishes, then you HAD to empty it so that you didn't leave your item on the counter top.

In practice, I have to rearrange everything my DH puts in because I'm a stupid dishwasher perfectionist, so we let it pile up so I can stack it. Whoever is not dealing with the kids and has a moment of peace unloads, but it's not an allocated 'job' in our house.

[EerilyDeleted]

Laundry is a daily routine here, one load a day same as the dishwasher. The differences are that the dishwasher is put on after dinner, but not unloaded till the next morning. The laundry needs to be taken out and hung up straight away, rather than left till the next day and in our house anyway it's usually done first thing. It is quite often a different person that hangs it out and brings it back in for us though, I tend to put most of ours on but the DCs do a lot of the hanging out and bringing in.

[inappropriateraspberry]

Oh, and 2 year old will put the children's plates and cups away!

[Gazelda]

We don't rinse.
We all put our dishes etc in when they are ready for cleaning
Whoever notices it is full turns it on.
DD (12) hasn't yet mastered the art of recognising that the filter needs cleaning or rinse aid/salt needs adding. But me and DH each do those as and when.
Whoever is around when the cycle finishes empties it. Unless no one is around at that point in which case whoever is cooking dinner does it while they are pottering/preparing etc.

[Love51]

Kids load the table stuff after tea. Adults do any cooking bits when they wipe down the surfaces. I switch it on at night after my last drink (or ask DH to). DH is up first, usually he's unloaded it when I get downstairs. If he hasn't, I'll get a child to do the cutlery and get the breakfast stuff out, and I'll do the rest.
Unloading is the nice part, it is all clean! But, we have a lot of high storage and I don't want the kids messing with the pan cupboard. Maybe when they get a little older and taller.

[Poppins2016]

I would define 'the dishwasher' as two jobs (load & empty). Same as washing up (wash & dry/put away).

Interestingly, however, I'd say the person that loads the washing machine is responsible for unloading etc. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe because laundry is less of a daily routine than dishes? Hmm.

[BlackAmericanoNoSugar]

Everyone puts their own crockery and cutlery in (in theory). Whoever is waiting for the kettle to boil unloads it. It's a really quick job because when we replaced the kitchen I put a three drawer cabinet next to the dishwasher which is the same levels as the dishwasher eg bottom drawer in both is plates and bowls, middle drawer is cups and glasses and top drawer is cutlery.

[Applesandpears23]

I regard emptying it and reloading it as one job. I usually do it twice in a day and if necessary the third time my partner has to do it.

[PickAChew]

That's a bit weird, tbh. DH and i both load the dishwasher as we go. Sometimes, one of the boys puts something in, though it generally needs moving. DH mostly empties it as all the bending and stretching cripples me.

[HeddaGarbled]

No, I don’t see any reason why it needs to be the same person.

[PontiacBandit]

Everyone loads their own things in? Whoever notices it is full switches it on. Dh doesn't mind unloading but I insist that the DC unload it. They have their own system which works, the the youngest can't reach the cups and glasses but does the plates and bowls.

[StillNoFuckingEyeDeer]

I load the dishwasher because I'm the only one who can do it properly.
Whoever opens the dishwasher to put something in and finds that it is full of clean stuff is the one who unloads it. If a child is near, they help. (DC are 9, 7 and 4)

[EerilyDeleted]

I do the majority of meal planning, shopping and cooking, so DH has always been in charge of clearing up the kitchen in the evening, which includes putting the DW on. We're not totally rigid about this, DH and the DCs shop and cook sometimes and we all help a bit with the clearing up. The DCs (teenagers) take it in turns to empty the DW the next day, but again sometimes one of us will do it. I'd say it's rare in our house for the person who put it on to also empty it.

[GoogleWhacked]

Absolutely not - loading the dw is one job, emptying & putting away is another one. Two separate jobs, two separate people.
(supposed to be the kids, but usually not!)

[TheSmallAssassin]

You don't need to rinse dishes, and in fact you shouldn't as it wastes water.

In our house, everyone is supposed to put their own dishes in the dishwasher as they finish with them, but usually it ends up being one of us parents, whoever has the inclination. The kids are supposed to take turns to do the emptying, but given that we're working from home all day while they're at school one of us usually does it.

Because both of us do it as and when we have a mo or have got fed up of the pile of accumulating dishes it's not a big deal because we both feel the other pulls their weight. This is your problem, I suspect, there feels like a disparity.

[PlanDeRaccordement]

We have no set rule like that.
Whoever is doing dishes and finally fills it, starts it running
Whoever wanders into the kitchen first when it’s finished, unloads it.

It can be same person or not doing both jobs. It just doesn’t matter to us. The dishwasher doesn’t run at same time of day or even every day, so there’s no real case even of me mostly doing it or DH mostly doing it.

I think it’s a bit odd to refuse to unload a dishwasher because you put last dish/cup in it and pushed the button to run it.

[Chasingsquirrels]

• nobody rinses anything.
• everyone puts their own things in the dishwasher after they have used them, if we've eaten together the non-cooks clear the table and load the dishwasher.
• if it's full when you've put stuff in it you turn it on.
• teens used to empty it when they were younger, now they ignore it buy if they hear me start to empty it they generally come and help.

(Me, 14yo and 18yo)

[scrivette]

I load and unload, no one else would be able to load it correctly although DS helps me with the cutlery sometimes.

I don't rinse anything except porridge bowls.

[MJMG2015]

It seems a strange thing to be arguing about.

He's definitely wrong though.

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