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Dishwasher loading /unloading - not same person?

37 replies

russetred · 09/10/2020 23:00

In our house, we generally agree that family members should share household chores. Some are permanently assigned (I do all the laundry, DH does all the food shopping, for example) and some are more flexible.

So, the dishwasher! I generally think that the person who rinses the dishes, loads the dishwasher and sets it running shouldn't then also have to be the person who unloads it and puts it away, and I thought this was a fairly common viewpoint but DH disagrees. He said he wanted evidence of this being a commonly held idea. So I thought I'd check what the good folks of Mumsnet think!

OP posts:
NannyR · 09/10/2020 23:05

I don't think it's anyone's "job" as such? If you use a dish, you put it in the dishwasher, if you notice it's full you switch it on, if you notice it's finished, you empty it.

DramaAlpaca · 09/10/2020 23:05

In our house, loading and unloading the dishwasher was the responsibility of the three teenagers, who took turns. Now it's just the youngest left at home, it's solely his job. Not helpful at all if it's just the two of you, sorry!

dudsville · 09/10/2020 23:07

I understand that you live in a house where this is a valid consideration. We're only two and it's just randomly done by both of us, we wouldn't say that because one loaded then they or the other must unload it.

Pascha · 09/10/2020 23:10

Dh and I take it in turns to be up first in the morning to make the tea and empty the dishwasher. It's not a hard and fast rule though.

skankingpiglet · 09/10/2020 23:11

In our house DH loads and uploads the dishwasher plus washes up and puts away everything that didn't go into the machine. It is his job and is balanced by me doing all the meal planning, food shopping, and cooking.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 09/10/2020 23:12

Hmm, not directly comparable, but I load it and DS (8) unloads it. That’s because I don’t trust him to load it well enough yet though - hope I wouldn’t think this of a partner (or address it like this!).

russetred · 09/10/2020 23:13

Just to add that there's a 12-y-o here too who also has to help out with this kind of stuff. So I'm not suggesting it's one particular person who does it, just that it shouldn't have to be the same person doing both the jobs, IYSWIM.

OP posts:
inappropriateraspberry · 09/10/2020 23:14

I usually load and put on after dinner, then I empty the next morning. At the weekend, I load and DH unloads. He can never load it right and can't fit everything in!

fairydustandpixies · 09/10/2020 23:17

I rinse, load the dishwasher, get it running and also empty it. I do all laundry, shopping and cleaning. I also live alone now so am absolutely no use at all in answering your dilemma! I do wish my adult DC were still at home to bicker with about it though!

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 09/10/2020 23:18

I cook. DC (16 and 13) are responsible for loading/unloading the dishwasher. If they don't want to do that they can cook.
How they choose to divide the task is up to them.

schoolcook · 09/10/2020 23:18

I'll rinse and load all day long but absolutely hate unloading it.
Luckily my DS doesn't mind that bit so it does tend to be shared here.

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 09/10/2020 23:18

We don't rinse the dishes first though. Are we meant to? ConfusedGrin

MJMG2015 · 09/10/2020 23:19

It seems a strange thing to be arguing about.

He's definitely wrong though.


scrivette · 09/10/2020 23:20

I load and unload, no one else would be able to load it correctly although DS helps me with the cutlery sometimes.

I don't rinse anything except porridge bowls.

Chasingsquirrels · 09/10/2020 23:23
  • nobody rinses anything.
  • everyone puts their own things in the dishwasher after they have used them, if we've eaten together the non-cooks clear the table and load the dishwasher.
  • if it's full when you've put stuff in it you turn it on.
  • teens used to empty it when they were younger, now they ignore it buy if they hear me start to empty it they generally come and help.

(Me, 14yo and 18yo)
PlanDeRaccordement · 09/10/2020 23:28

We have no set rule like that.
Whoever is doing dishes and finally fills it, starts it running
Whoever wanders into the kitchen first when it’s finished, unloads it.

It can be same person or not doing both jobs. It just doesn’t matter to us. The dishwasher doesn’t run at same time of day or even every day, so there’s no real case even of me mostly doing it or DH mostly doing it.

I think it’s a bit odd to refuse to unload a dishwasher because you put last dish/cup in it and pushed the button to run it.

TheSmallAssassin · 09/10/2020 23:28

You don't need to rinse dishes, and in fact you shouldn't as it wastes water.

In our house, everyone is supposed to put their own dishes in the dishwasher as they finish with them, but usually it ends up being one of us parents, whoever has the inclination. The kids are supposed to take turns to do the emptying, but given that we're working from home all day while they're at school one of us usually does it.

Because both of us do it as and when we have a mo or have got fed up of the pile of accumulating dishes it's not a big deal because we both feel the other pulls their weight. This is your problem, I suspect, there feels like a disparity.

GoogleWhacked · 09/10/2020 23:29

Absolutely not - loading the dw is one job, emptying & putting away is another one. Two separate jobs, two separate people.
(supposed to be the kids, but usually not!)

EerilyDeleted · 09/10/2020 23:33

I do the majority of meal planning, shopping and cooking, so DH has always been in charge of clearing up the kitchen in the evening, which includes putting the DW on. We're not totally rigid about this, DH and the DCs shop and cook sometimes and we all help a bit with the clearing up. The DCs (teenagers) take it in turns to empty the DW the next day, but again sometimes one of us will do it. I'd say it's rare in our house for the person who put it on to also empty it.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 09/10/2020 23:37

I load the dishwasher because I'm the only one who can do it properly.
Whoever opens the dishwasher to put something in and finds that it is full of clean stuff is the one who unloads it. If a child is near, they help. (DC are 9, 7 and 4)

PontiacBandit · 09/10/2020 23:38

Everyone loads their own things in? Whoever notices it is full switches it on. Dh doesn't mind unloading but I insist that the DC unload it. They have their own system which works, the the youngest can't reach the cups and glasses but does the plates and bowls.

HeddaGarbled · 09/10/2020 23:39

No, I don’t see any reason why it needs to be the same person.

PickAChew · 09/10/2020 23:41

That's a bit weird, tbh. DH and i both load the dishwasher as we go. Sometimes, one of the boys puts something in, though it generally needs moving. DH mostly empties it as all the bending and stretching cripples me.

Applesandpears23 · 09/10/2020 23:42

I regard emptying it and reloading it as one job. I usually do it twice in a day and if necessary the third time my partner has to do it.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 09/10/2020 23:48

Everyone puts their own crockery and cutlery in (in theory). Whoever is waiting for the kettle to boil unloads it. It's a really quick job because when we replaced the kitchen I put a three drawer cabinet next to the dishwasher which is the same levels as the dishwasher eg bottom drawer in both is plates and bowls, middle drawer is cups and glasses and top drawer is cutlery.

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