7 year old saying to an adult ‘you’re being silly’- rude?

[ComeHereToMe]

DS is devastated because his teacher gave him into trouble for this today. He’s a very young 7 and genuinely wouldn’t have meant it in a bad way. He’s so upset.

@Cheeeeislifenow

Respectfully from the SNA in the room, before you probably assume that I shockingly believe my child. I also work in the school, I know the teacher, he is a well known arse.

Umm nope I didn't assume anything @Cheeeeislifenow, I was asking (I thought politely actually, but there you go) as sometimes, as I'm sure you know, lines can get crossed.

That'll teach me to ask a civil question on MN.

Sorry, I took the respectfully as sarcastic. My bad I was being defensive.

@feistyoneyouare Who decides what is considered to be 'cheeky' Poor kids must be really confused when adults can say whatever to them, but if they say the same thing back it is considered rude.

Not if adults are polite to them too and don't just 'say whatever'. ('You are being silly' isn't an especially constructive thing for an adult to say to a child either.)
I agree that can be confusing for kids, but they need to be taught to speak to adults and their peers alike with respect.

My aunt said the wrong grammar once and I said," it's do isn't it?" She had said "does". She sent me home from a sleepover with a slapped arse, I was five. Adults don't like to be corrected.

Well, obviously that was wrong of your aunt. In that instance you had corrected her politely. Not the same thing as if you'd told her she was being silly.

'It also depends what ' gave into trouble' means. Probably for that I'd have said 'that isnt an ok way to talk to an adult' and thought nothing more of (obviously depending on circumstances). Children do sometimes get very upset about the gentlest of hints that they may have done something wrong but that's how we learn. Obviously if she sent him to the HT it's different.

I think the term “devastated” is probably a bit over dramatic. People use words out of context so often these days and it really devalues them.

The teacher wouldn't have spoken to him about it if she hadn't felt it was inappropriate, so clearly she wasn't joking around and being deliberately 'silly' at the time. He isn't 'devastated', just a bit upset about being called out. I imagine a lot of children are struggling to adjust to being back at school and are trying to use the language, work avoidance strategies and attitudes that worked when they were at home last term. Teachers will have to be firm in this period of adjustment, and it will not help anyone if parents refuse to accept that their children need to behave/speak to adults differently in school than they might do at home.

I remember when I was 5/6 calling a teacher a silly billy and getting into so much trouble for it but I couldn't understand what I did wrong she was being silly!

Depends what was said and why. I could totally see my eldest saying the teacher was silly if she was wrong and insisted she wasn’t, for example.

If he is truly devastated then he really does need some help with becoming more resilient, as well as knowing that he can’t speak to his teacher in that way. It’s not likely it’s going to be the last time in life he gets a ticking off, so he needs to be able to learn what he needs to learn from it and move on.