7 year old saying to an adult ‘you’re being silly’- rude?

[ComeHereToMe]

DS is devastated because his teacher gave him into trouble for this today. He’s a very young 7 and genuinely wouldn’t have meant it in a bad way. He’s so upset.

[MitziK]

New teacher for this year?

It sounds like a mixture of a teacher who is starting the Junior level work and wants to get on as soon as possible.or they could be just a grumpy cow like my teacher was.

It's largely inappropriate to speak to a teacher like that, but the kids haven't been talking to teachers much since March, so I think it could have been corrected gently. I have a feeling that the teacher has been surrounded by kids who have all but forgotten not to tug at her sleeve, answer their name with 'WHAT?' and so on, so s/he's trying to get them back into line as quickly as possible.

I'm assuming he wasn't deliberately being cheeky to the teacher in this - and when he does talk about, I'd ask gently 'Do you think there might have been different words you could have used?'.

[AChooooo]

I think ideally the best response from the teacher would’ve been to question why. Is it because he disagrees with something they said or because their new hair do?
Context makes a huge difference. If she told him off because he disagreed with a point then that saddens me - they’re there to learn. If he was being rude, then fair enough.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

You literally have no idea what the context is, as do I. I didn't even say that it had. I am just explaining how sometimes adults can be in the wrong and I think it is okay for children to point it out, I think we have moved past the damaging era of children should be seen and not heard.

[SaintofBats]

I agree with @Cheeeeislifenow. Adults can indeed be ‘silly’ or unfair, and children can be very clear-sighted about pointing this out. I wouldn’t automatically assume he’d spoken inappropriately without more context.

[FelicityPike]

“ Why post on MN then if you don't know the context and don't want to ask DS more about it?!”

Clearly her precious popkin had his feelings hurt by the big, scary teacher and she needs him, his feelings and his behaviour validated.
At our school he would’ve been given in to severe trouble for his cheek and attitude and then into trouble again when you got home for it as well!

[Love51]

New term, teacher is setting her stall out about how she wishes to be addressed. Now he knows. Not something to agonise over.
I've had this exact conversation with my own 6 and 8 year olds a lot lately. Especially my 8 year old who tries to diffuse everything with humour, which doesn't work when you are 8. In the main she has got it but I'm expecting slip ups when ours go back in September.

[YgritteSnow]

Clearly her precious popkin had his feelings hurt by the big, scary teacher and she needs him, his feelings and his behaviour validated.

There really are some absolute tools on MN these days.

[HowFastIsTooFast]

Well it depends entirely on the context and without that we can't comment? My best friend's boys call me a silly sausage all the time, generally when I am being one. I don't consider it to be even remotely rude, but I'm not their teacher.

7 seems quite young to fully understand the subtleties of it being ok to say a family member is silly, but not that a teacher is.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

@felicity
I would pull that cold out of that school. We no longer live in Victorian times, we can reprimand children without crushing their spirit and guess what, it works better!

[HeronLanyon]

It totally depends. A 7 year old will say that for some reasons either good or bad - either way o think a teacher should use it to teach - either laugh and say ‘yes!’ Or explain why it isn’t silly. The more I think the less I can imagine why a teacher would tell a 7 year old off for this.

[Witchend]

It depends on the situation, but I would say there would be very few times where it would be appropriate for a 7yo to say it to a teacher.
Favourite uncle playing around to make them laugh would be different.

[Iminaglasscaseofemotion]

It's 6.30 and he's 7, but he's too tired to talk about something that's upsetting him. Why didn't you ask him what happened when he told you?

[Diva66]

Yes he was rude. Now he’s upset and he’s learned a lesson,

[flower11]

Context is everything. Was the teacher being silly or did he perceive she was. My dd is 7 and on the spectrum she sees everything as black and white and takes things literally. This is something she would say. Last year her teacher had a reputation for being fun and pulling faces ,wearing silly glasses etc. So I guess she would have been ok with dd telling as it was .
Depends on the context of the interaction.
.

[netflixismysidehustle]

It depends on the context.

"You're being silly" could be quite bossy and rude like "You are wrong" " You're being ridiculous" but it could be observational eg teacher uses a funny voice or tells a joke. Tone in second instance is more 😂

[Longtalljosie]

I stayed with a friend once a long way away and she was playing with her DD and mine while I drifted in and out of sleep with jetlag. DD called friend’s DD a “silly-billy” and was reprimanded - it was a term of affection for us. I didn’t want to start the trip on a bad note so left it - plus she was doing me a big favour! But some terms can really go one of two ways...

[mbosnz]

The teacher didn't get your son into trouble for saying this - he got himself into trouble saying this to a teacher.

If he learns this early to watch what he says to teachers, and to appear respectful even if he doesn't respect them, it will stand him in very good stead for the rest of his educational career.

And beyond, when he'll know not to tell his manager that he's being a silly pillock, even when he's being a silly pillock.

[WestendVBroadway]

It definitely depends on the context, but I personally wouldn't immediately think it was rude. I clearly recall an incident when I was aged about 9/10 at the end of the day at primary school; my friend and I were looking for another friend , so had walked through the school a few times and had gone past our teacher twice already. When we passed her a third time my friend said "Oh, we meet again!" The teacher went ballistic and called her out for her rudeness. To this day 40 years later I cannot understand what my friend did wrong.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

Oh God, some of these replies, he said silly, not you're being an absolute bells end, big difference people.

[feistyoneyouare]

You literally have no idea what the context is, as do I. I didn't even say that it had. I am just explaining how sometimes adults can be in the wrong and I think it is okay for children to point it out, I think we have moved past the damaging era of children should be seen and not heard.

@Cheeeeislifenow so it's fine for children to be cheeky to adults?

It's not about 'seen and not heard.' It's rude to tell someone they're being silly. He's young and may not have realised this, but it's an important lesson.

Yes, sometimes it's not inappropriate for a child to point out an adult is in the wrong. But politely.

[Cheeeeislifenow]

My aunt said the wrong grammar once and I said," it's do isn't it?" She had said "does". She sent me home from a sleepover with a slapped arse, I was five. Adults don't like to be corrected.

[WhatamessIgotinto]

Example, older children but in my ten year olds class, the teacher roared at a child for dropping something by accident. Another child, after the one who was humiliated said, "you shouldn't have shouted, it was an accident". The teacher wasn't happy and said child was rude, I think the child stood up for someone who was being picked on unfairly. Respect is a two way street.

Can I ask, respectfully, how you know this is what happened @allCheeeeislifenow?

[Cheeeeislifenow]

We don't know if he was being cheeky, or if the teacher was indeed being silly, if he is the kind of kid who is upset about getting into trouble, I'm gonna make a big assumption that he hadn't meant it in a cheeky way, we don't know that for sure, but some people here are suggesting that this child is being a brat. A brat doesn't say "you are being silly".

[Cheeeeislifenow]

Respectfully from the SNA in the room, before you probably assume that I shockingly believe my child. I also work in the school, I know the teacher, he is a well known arse.

[WestendVBroadway]

@feistyoneyouare Who decides what is considered to be 'cheeky'? Poor kids must be really confused when adults can say whatever to them, but if they say the same thing back it is considered rude. Children learn from what they hear, and if they have heard an adult say a certain phrase they will assume it is an acceptable thing to say to others. I am not saying that children should be able to get away with saying anything, but perhaps instead of the teacher telling the child off she should have gently explained it was not appropriate.