When the in laws visit, they always want to go out somewhere!

[magicmarkerz]

With my family, both when we visit relatives or have had relatives come to visit us in the past, we wouldn't have ever thought of going out in the daytime. Mum might put on some lunch and we'd sit around in the lounge having a good catch up with copious tea or maybe even some wine. Perhaps the men went to the pub for an hour or two!

However, with my in laws, it's entirely different. If they come to see us, we always have to go out somewhere - out for a walk, to the park, to the shops! And if we go and see them, again, it's "let's go for a walk along the canal,' "let's pop into town."

I've also noticed that when their grandchildren visit, they never just stay at home and play together, they are always being whisked off to the museum, or a country house, or to the park!

Is this a sign of the times? Always having to be doing things and being active? What happened to just being content with visiting family in their home?

[thepointoforder]

I don't think it's a sign on the times, everyone is different. Always met up with my grandparents on day trips etc. As did DH.
Still do it now with both my parents and in laws, extended family etc.

Going to a museum, NT property or a park is preferable to sitting around for us. Be a bit if just the men bogged off to the pub though...

[Smashtastic]

God I hate my in-laws visiting. They come from abroad and stay for a month and a half (in various different relatives houses) and they never want to go anywhere. I remember going to my SIL to meet with PIL and we went nowhere, not even outside for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS. I could have cried from boredom.

So YADBU op. Not everyone is happy to just vegitate making small talk all day.

[BogRollBOGOF]

Hell is filled with other people's sofas. For a start 95% of sofas are very uncomfortable. Then there's that soporific stage of the afternoon shortly after lunch when without a walk to reactivate my body and brain, I will fall asleep.

Every Christmas I get some variety of shoulder, neck or back pain from the torture of enduring other people's awful sofas.

[Smashtastic]

I should say, I have refused to do this since then. We arrange days out and they can come or not. They come as they want to see DGC and we all have a nice day.

[Drivingdownthe101]

I think I’d struggle to visit a household where the men go off to the pub while the women and children sit around chatting!
My parents live close by so sometimes they come to the house, sometimes we go out together, sometimes I go to them.
IL’s live abroad so visits are longer. Again we spend some time at home but also plenty of time out and about. Don’t think we’d ever spend the whole day at home, there would always be a walk or we’d (all!) go for a drink/lunch or something.

[Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear]

Sitting around all afternoom chatting sounds tedious. I absolutely love going on day trips and my fondest memories with my grandparents are of going out to the beach, to London, to play parks etc.

When we have people visit we take them out and about, have no idea how I would entertain people stuck in the house.

[Smashtastic]

@themostwonderfultimeoftheyear

Tedious in the extreme. Particularly as your usually on best behaviour and so feel forced into making small talk and can't even get your phone out for a bit.

There's only so many times and only for so long that you can excuse yourself to the toilet before you have to make up a tummy upset.

[BlingLoving]

Sheesh, in my family, going out and about with visitors is considered essential. We practically turn into bloody tour guides when people visit. The idea of people coming to stay and just sitting at home would be considered boring and a bit rude to be honest!

Obviously, your family are happy with it so that's great. But yes, if I visit people for more than an afternoon/evening, I'd usually expect us to DO something at some point. Doesn't have to be complicated or fancy but definitely not just at home all the time.

[user1493413286]

I think going out is normal and my childhood was the same; unless it’s nice enough to sit outside then I wouldn’t be keen on a day spent indoors all day.

[FizzyPink]

I much prefer going out or meeting family somewhere. Fair enough if it’s sunny and you can sit in the garden with some wine and have a bbq but I can’t imagine why you’d want to sit around in someone’s sitting room all day. What on earth do you find to talk about all that time? Or do you just watch tv together?

[FizzyPink]

Also why would the women not also go to the pub? We have plenty of couple friends that come over for dinner or drinks and I’d be most put out if DP announced him and the men were off to the pub leaving us at home!

[magicmarkerz]

When I talked about the men going to the pub, I think that was more 'back in the day,' say in the 90s! My mum or one of my aunts would be cooking so the men generally went to the pub to watch the football or what have you.

[SafferUpNorth]

Agreed, sitting around all day with family in their sitting room (or when they visit us) would be boring beyond belief for me. Kids get bored, adults run out of small talk, the poor hostess doesn't get a break. In our families (both in-laws and my own) it's totally normal to go out and about together, even if just a walk to the park.

Exception is a BBQ in the garden on a nice day - now that's when we'll just sit with our feet up and a glass of vino and watch the men do the cooking!

[Peanutbutteryogurt]

I think your family sound more unusual tbh

[LimitIsUp]

I'm with your in laws. I'd rather go out

[magicmarkerz]

We practically turn into bloody tour guides when people visit.

Ugh, sounds like my idea of hell (nicely!)! What is there to do in the suburbs of a large town, not much really?! Family visiting family, no one is on best behaviour, no one is on show. Far nicer for everyone just to relax with their feet up and have a good catch up, in my opinion!

[notheragain4]

I HATE hanging around people's houses or having people hanging around ours. We always plan things to go, I'm with them!

[MayFayre]

I think it’s weird not to go out. My parents refuse to go out once they’ve arrived to visit and the rest of us are bored to tears after an hour or so when all the conversation is used up.

[mynameiscalypso]

Surely it depends if you get on or not? I have no issue sitting round with my family but have very little to say to my in laws and find them very dull so at least when we're out, we have something else to focus on.

[AllStartedWithUSA]

Do you mean an afternoon visit or a weekend visit though?

My own mum and step dad live close by. We pop in and out each other’s homes. I enjoy sitting chatting or the kids playing at theirs in garden or inside. We go walks in our local neighbourhood or to parks etc. We occasionally have a family daytrip but not as often as I’d like.

My in-laws like about an hour away. When we had only a baby I would always always arrange to go out for lunch somewhere with them or garden centre anything but be stuck in their home all afternoon. We now have two more children and there isn’t enough space in the car anymore more and no public transport. They don’t drive (thankfully or they’d be turning up on my doorstep!). So now we sit and sit and sit. It is boring. They don’t even chat that much (neither does DH!) and I feel like I need to keep conversation going and ensure children aren’t bored to death (and therefore get rude tantrum from boredom). They do okay a little with them. If it’s dry I try to persuade everyone to go a walk locally. It’s torturous actually.

[Drivingdownthe101]

I get on really well with my in laws but we still like to get out and do stuff when they visit/we visit them. It’s nice to have shared experiences, especially for the kids I think.

[WinterAndRoughWeather]

I am a homebody, though I also like to visit places or go for walks. What I can’t stand is Group Actvities, whether at home or on a trip out.

I think it’s my upbringing - we were a bit latchkey and feral, living out in the countryside and on holiday we were mostly left to our own devices at the beach or pool. So as much as I enjoy an activity or trip out, or just staying at home, I feel oddly stifled by company if the visit is longer than a few hours.

[CodenameVillanelle]

Your family are the weird ones, sorry!

[Iverunoutofnames]

We used to drag ours out as much as possible. They complained but it’s better than them sitting in the house complaining how bored they were, and we should just go to see them.
When we went to theirs they would do anything not to go out and tell us how brilliant and fun it was (it wasn’t).
Out is better.

[PicsInRed]

Your family sound stiflingly traditional OP.

How do you feel about the in-law women not "hosting" in the home?