Are you a 'shoes on' or a 'shoes off' household?

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

We are strictly shoes off. We walk around in bare feet and I hate the thought of walking in outside dirt all over the house. MIL is coming to stay this weekend. She hates having to take her shoes off and there's this alwau this awkward moment at the front door when I ask her to take her shoes off (even though everyone else is doing so, so she should really just follow suit). She believes that floors should be hoovered/mopped every day anyway so why does it matter.....oh if only I had the time to clean every day - my cleaner does it once a week and that's it!

So I was just wondering if I was a bit OCD or if this is the norm?

[Paddington68]

off - cream carpet, that wasn't my idea!

[Spidey66]

Ooohh a shoes inside debate! Not had one of those for at least a month!

FWIW I normally take my shoes off indoors but it's not necessarily the first thing I do, depends on how uncomfortable the shoes are, whether they're wet/muddy (I live in London but the dog demands walks over muddy parks.)

I can't be arsed though taking them off and putting them on every time I want to put the washing/bins out, go to the shops or walk the dog, so they stay on. Also in the summer I could be in and out the garden. The arthritis in my knees is bad enough without all that bending, thanks.

I'm rarely asked to remove them. I'm in a job where I visit people at home and only rarely get asked there, and as I work in mental health there are as many hoarders as there are OCD sufferers so I wouldn't want to, thanks. None of my family or friends ask me to take them off and I don't ask them.

[Dandelion1993]

We're neither really.

Somedays I leave my shoes sometimes I don't.

If visitors want to keep their shoes on they can I just ask they get the dirt off on the mat first.

It's not a big deal and can be hoovered up at the end of the day.

[ginghamstarfish]

While we are a shoes off house, and I'm happy to take them off in others' houses if they wish, it does annoy me if we have to take shoes off and they have dogs running in and out ....

[StarbucksSmarterSister]

Why on earth would you put pale carpet in a room that is directly off the street?

Because it's my house and it goes with the decor? Because dark carpet would look horrible?
Because wood (which I had in my last place and I'd love) or a high quality laminate cost a lot more(it's a big room)?

Take your pick.

My family and friends and even workmen have always offered to take their shoes off anyway. I only have one friend who doesn't but she always says "my shoes aren't dirty" then makes a big shoe of wiping her feet on the doormats. I keep a pair of slipper socks just for her now.

[LustigLustig]

We all take our shoes off because it just seems natural to me, and it's sooo much more comfortable. I hate wearing shoes, I'd wear slippers at work if I could!

Some of my family members don't like being in socks in the house; they usually bring "indoor" shoes or slippers with them.

I don't mind being in socks in other people's houses, but if I think it'll be cold I will likewise bring slippers with me.

However, I wouldn't require anyone to take their shoes off, unless they were wearing muddy wellies or something.

Most people notice us all taking our shoes off, and ask if they should take theirs off. To which I respond (just as most people do, I find) that it's fine, they don't have to take them off, whatever's more comfortable. And 9 times out of 10 they do then take them off.

No need for stand-offs at the doormat, a little politeness and respect goes both ways.

[MrsT1405]

Shoes on unless they are muddy. It's a house not some sort germ free laboratory.

[Deadringer]

Shoes on. I have never been in a shoes off house.

[Winesalot]

I love these threads, it is always eye opening.

I have timber floors and the big one for me is that I never allow stiletto or thin heels at all or shoes that may have a stone stuck in the tread. Even now with floors that I don’t care as much about. I have seen what these can do to timber floors (not all wood is ‘hard’ in old places) and I don’t want to have to go through the palaver of sanding down my floors every 5-10 years. Plus we are a very casual family so no one wears stilettos or thin heels to our place anyway.

But I have also never come across anyone who would not take their shoes off either. It seems only on Mumsnet comments that happens.

What is bad manners in my book is not being flexible to what you host would like you to do. But maybe that is just a cultural thing.

OP maybe ask if she has slippers to bring or if you can buy her a pair.

[AnnaMagnani]

Shoes off. Scandinavia is a shoes off region.

Doing home visits any Asian family will ask you to take your shoes off too. Possibly going to the lengths of providing you with plastic shoe covers.

Quite a lot of White British families will also ask you to take your shoes off as well.

Shoes off is definitely a majority.

[CMOTDibbler]

I don't ask anyone else to take their shoes off, even though we all take ours off in the hall just for convenience. We have cats and dogs, so people make very little difference to the floor cleanliness

[ChangingMyNameFromMUUUUUMMMM]

The DC and I all take our shoes off as soon as we get in. I can't imagine walking around the house with shoes on and if people ask I will say to take them off.

DH on the other hand will keep his shoes on which drives me insane. He says his feet get cold (and yes I've tried slippers).

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

No pets in our house, just for clarity!

[Crankybitch]

Shoes off for us and most houses we visit

[BlackSwanGreen]

Shoes off. I don’t ask guests to take their off though.

[AhNowTed]

OP: you're having an Xmas party. Your friends have all turned up in their cocktail dresses.** Do you expect them to ditch their shoes in favour of stockinged feet or your crocs and slippers?

[Lardlizard]

Off Why would you bring shoes in the house dirt n germs

[Sagradafamiliar]

Hand her the cleaning products then if she thinks everywhere should be cleaned every day, just so she can have the benefit of trudging the outdoors all over your indoors.

You might as well just spit and sprinkle piss, vom and poo particles around if you're going to wear shoes indoors.

[Katinski]

When we were in Singapore, shoes off was the norm, no probs. In the UK the 'rule' seems so arbitrary. Please, PLEASE, if you have a shoes off policy, make it clear when you issue your invitation, and I'll dress accordingly - is that so hard?
(written by a short-arse whose trousers cover my shoes, resulting in having to turn them up a couple of times to conform. NOT a good look)

[Damntheman]

@AhNowTed to answer the curiosity question of what happens in shoes off households with fancy dinner parties :) In Scandinavia people will bring their fancy shoes in a bag, these shoes are usually cleaned beforehand so they'll be ok to wear inside, and then they change their shoes when they arrive. Admittedly some of this is a safety issue as formal shoes are neither warm nor particularly handy on the ice, but such it is! Question answered, spare pair of shoes ;) I don't bother personally, I just slide around in my fancy dress and some fluffy socks but I am not your most formal of guest.


OP I was with you until you said that Oh, and offended by jokey ref to OCD? Really?! You can't say anything on here without offending someone

OCD is a very serious issue that destroys lives. It's absolutely miserable for sufferers and joking about it is wildly inappropriate. I would understand a slip up from someone who wasn't aware, but then an apology should have been offered and an effort made to not do it again.

[Goingovertosusanshouse]

Shoes off! I don’t feel comfortable walking around the house in shoes.

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

@Damntheman I did say that I didn't mean to offend anyone.

A few months back I posted something about living in a household of deaf teens. It was light-hearted, and clearly they're not really deaf. I was just referring to the fact that no one listens to me. But people took offense when there was none meant. This feels the same.

Lots of people refer to themselves as being 'a bit OCD' without me meaning offense to those who are suffering with this horrible disorder.

[Damntheman]

OP you also implied OCD sufferers are being overly sensitive "You can't say anything on here without offending someone." That was the problem sentence really :) People need to stop saying "a bit OCD" or describing behaviour as "a bit OCD" if it isn't. It undermines people with the actual disorder as it's then passed off as a jokey unserious thing, if you get me? I have a friend who struggled to get her illness taken seriously for years because of the OCD style joke regarding particular behaviour. Her OCD has had her sectioned more than once, it's horrendous. That's why people get upset.

[chocolatesaltyballs22]

Point taken. Apologies.

[WallyWallyWally]

Shows off. It’s the norm here in France where we live. It’s the first thing kids here do - kick their shoes off.

My PIL are very shoes oN. They put them on first thing and keep them in all day - even if they are not going anywhere.

However, I don’t insist: just judge, silently :-)