For my 4 year old to say "that man's really tall!" and indeed "that man's really black" but not "that man's really fat!".
Is it all society? Or is there a case for it being health related? Is there a good way to handle this? I thought it would be better here than on a board where people would say "how rude" and "you shouldn't mention skin colour, it's shameful". Also, I'm kind of interested in unpacking this philosophically!
My DS seems to be at this sort of stage plus he is also that sort of child - very outspoken.
We were in a cafe last week and a very very large man came in, he appeared to be with a carer and at the minimum had difficulty walking (I am not sure if the carer was also helping him with e.g. choices/communication).
DS said "That man's very fat!" and I said "yes, he is, but he probably doesn't want you shouting about it" and I proceeded to ask him not to stare, because he was. "But I'm not staring I'm just looking a lot!" (I'm not sure he knows what "stare" means to be fair).
Today on the bus he pointed out an extremely tall man ("That man's very tall!" Yes, he is, isn't he?) and a very very dark skinned man
"That man's got a black head!" Well I think he's got black legs and arms too. "I've got white legs and arms haven't I Mummy? and DD's got brown legs and arms?" Yes, that's right, you're White and DD is (ethnicity) (they are adopted and different ethnicities. We do talk about ethnicity and who is Black and who is White but this man was much darker than even the West African children in his nursery class, let alone DD or the mixed and Asian children in his Reception class). There is no way we can have skin colour as an unmentionable in our family - rather the opposite, we want to talk about it.
He hasn't asked me WHY the people in question are fat/tall/black but I suppose I could have explained (the fat man may not be very well/the tall man had a tall mummy and/or daddy/ the black man ditto).
Would this be different if someone was pathologically tall e.g. with a "syndrome"? Would we find it more awkward to mention then?
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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
Not really feminism but why is it OK...
69 replies
drspouse · 11/10/2016 11:39
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