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Chrissie Hyndes victim blaming SMH

(120 Posts)
FayKorgasm Sun 30-Aug-15 13:12:11 Link

I always liked her but not after this.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Sun 30-Aug-15 13:30:28

There's a thread in chat (I think) as well.

I find what she has said genuinely shocking.

FayKorgasm Sun 30-Aug-15 13:37:19

I too am genuinely shocked. She's the last ever person I would think of to say something so repugnant.

INickedAName Sun 30-Aug-15 17:08:39

The link isn't working for me, it says the server can't be found, might that mean the article it's been taken down?

femfortheday Sun 30-Aug-15 18:21:55

Link from the Independent below. I feel incredibly sad that she's internalized the victim blaming message so deeply and holds herself responsible for what happened, but equally she's not perpetuating the harmful message. Sadly when she says 'I'm not saying anything controversial am I?' She's probably right, she's not.

YonicScrewdriver Sun 30-Aug-15 18:24:22

Awful things to say.

femfortheday Sun 30-Aug-15 18:25:54

*now, not not.

LyndaNotLinda Sun 30-Aug-15 18:32:13

I feel really sorry for her. She's decided it's all her fault she was gang-raped because she was naive. She still sounds incredibly naive. I think anyone who divides rape into deserved/undeserved is. Because it's much easier to believe that you can avoid rape and sexual assault if you wear demure clothes and behave appropriately sad

PlaysWellWithOthers Sun 30-Aug-15 19:53:27

Because it's much easier to believe that you can avoid rape and sexual assault if you wear demure clothes and behave appropriately

Yup, which is why no woman is ever raped in countries where covering themselves from head to toe is the norm.... oh no! Hang on a second.....

LyndaNotLinda Sun 30-Aug-15 19:58:02

Oh I know PlaysWell sad But it's a trope that is very persuasive (and is trotted out with depressing familiarity on MN).

LyndaNotLinda Sun 30-Aug-15 19:58:27

Regularity, not familiarity!

PlaysWellWithOthers Sun 30-Aug-15 20:10:20

It is, and it is. And it's soul destroying for young women to see that people honestly believe this shite.

thedancingbear Sun 30-Aug-15 20:10:58

I didn't want to be seen to mansplain, but I was thinking more or less what Lydia has said. I think people have got hold of the right stick but at the wrong end. It's wrongheaded to think that having been in the Pretenders gives you any kind of superior insight. Hers is just a depressingly normal human reaction to the situation, isn't it? I feel double sorry for her - for what happened 40-odd years a go and the fact that she's getting a kicking related to it now (even if her comments are from one perspective unhelpful)

Lweji Sun 30-Aug-15 20:14:05

I saw it just now. On the Telegraph (I know..., i like the Matt and Alex cartoons, what can I say?)

Anyway, WTAF?

Is she on drugs now too?

Lweji Sun 30-Aug-15 20:18:50

She does probably see herself as strong enough (and demure enough?) to prevent other attacks. But sadly that's not the case.
I hope at least there is some debate that helps clarify that rape is only and solely the rapists' fault.

StealthPolarBear Sun 30-Aug-15 20:21:46

Oh that's awful. She blames herself and not her rapists for her rape.
I genuinely don't get it though. You can't control other people's reactions. I'm wearing scruffy jeans and an old jumper. Very well covered up , no male up. If some rapist found my outfit irresistible and raped me, presumably it'd be my fault according to her logic. So what would she suggest I do?

ALassUnparalleled Sun 30-Aug-15 20:37:18

If some rapist found my outfit irresistible and raped me, presumably it'd be my fault according to her logic

No by her logic that would be rape (or "rape rape" possibly as coined by Whoopi Goldberg ) as you aren't dressing in a way to make yourself look attractive/catch men's attention.

I wonder where she would draw the line between say your dressed purely for utilitarian purposes, my very definitely dressed up as standard but not in a sexy way, my son's girlfriend in black shorts worn over thick black tights with ballet pumps ( of course it looks attractive, she's young, pretty and slim) and the women from the strip club on Lothian Road out for a fag break between acts with their high heels and shorty raincoats.

I expect I am off the hook as I'm still quite demure, my son's girlfriend, possibly, as she's wearing thick tights and flat shoes but the strippers are probably fair game.

StealthPolarBear Sun 30-Aug-15 21:15:40

Ah ok so I'd be a worthy victim.

PlaysWellWithOthers Sun 30-Aug-15 21:36:31

Yes stealth. It's just the women dressed like they're 'up for it' that 'bring it on themselves'


jsommer7345 Sun 30-Aug-15 22:12:07

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Blu Sun 30-Aug-15 22:35:42

Oh god.

I didn't know that had happened to Chrissie H. Poor woman.

Something that happens to abused children is that they hold tight to the belief that they are bad and their parents are good because the alternative, that their parents , awful as they are, are all they have, are bad us just too terrifying a thought.

Maybe believing that actually you can control what happens to you (by choosing what to wear) , and pretending to yourself that you made a mistake and are responsible , feels less terrifying (in an abused frame of mind) , than the helplessness. That saying 'I could have controlled this' and taking responsibility makes you feel a sense of responsibility and power where you have none.

I would like to see CH bombarded with 'it wasn't your fault ' rather than hate mail.

YonicScrewdriver Mon 31-Aug-15 00:13:39

Jsommer, your post is not helpful. "Can you protect yourself? Absolutely!! Can you blame yourself? Come on ladies!" - seriously?

scallopsrgreat Mon 31-Aug-15 11:57:04

"Can you protect yourself? Absolutely!! Can you blame yourself? Come on ladies!" Yet there you are blaming women.

TooOldForGlitter Mon 31-Aug-15 12:04:17

I feel sorry that this happened to her I really do but equally I feel furious about what she has said. More terrifying, is reading the comments beneath the online articles about this. I don't know why I read them, I really don't.

ALassUnparalleled Mon 31-Aug-15 13:14:28

I don't think "Come on ladies" was intended to be read that way but with reference to putting the blame where it deserves to be.

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