OK please let me know what you think. My H's friend is visiting this weekend. Beforehand we had a couple of conversations about activities for the weekend and had agreed that on Saturday night they would go out and that I would do breakfast for our 18month old on Sunday so he can have a lie in (he usually does breakfasts and I do nights). He had also planned to go for a walk and lunch somewhere you cant take a pram (I agreed) and I had mentioned I needed some time to do some work over the weekend.
Now I had assumed that just because we have a visitor does not mean he gets the whole weekend 'off' from parenting. We usually each do a stretch of solo parenting on the weekend so the other can have a break to do whatever they like. I had assumed that this would be the same but I'd try to do a bit more to give him extra time. Anyway its turns out that yesterday I essentially parented alone the whole day minus an hour, I then asked my H to do the bath which he seemed a bit annoyed about. Today I woke him at 9 (we are ususally up at 6) to take over for me and he was really annoyed.
Now he had thought that he'd get the whole weekend off. I am having a friend over soon and he's already agreed to do dinner and bath so we can go out in the evening. But apart from that I had assumed that I would do stretches of childcare over the weekend to give him time off.
Anyway he's annoyed at me and his friend seems to think I am some sort of harridan because I said just cos you hvae a friend over doesnt mean you stop being a parent, you still need to look after DD for a few hours a day. Sure I am trying to give them some time to themselves but I find it too much to parent alone all day. Im quite upset cos I had thought I was being quite generous and supporting (i had noticed that he seemed quite irritated with me whenever I was trying to arrange times for him to take over). I am doing more than my usual but he thinks I am not doing enough. He says that when my friend comes over he will do everything but he's never actually done a full day's solo parenting, besides I will want to do some things with my friend and DD together. So he will hvae some time to himself while we go off for a walk or to child friendly cafe.
OK so obviously we need tp communicate more clearly but..am I unusual in having assumed that he'd still do some childcare this weekend?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions
What do you do about childcare when friends visit
59 replies
oncemorewithfeeling · 18/09/2011 10:26
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.