Wedding no-shows?

[TisConfusion]

So I was just wondering if this has happened to anyone, basically where people say they will come to the wedding but then not show up on the day?

I'm getting married in a few months and this kind of thing worries me (which is stupid really as theres nothing that can be done about it!) but I was just wondering how common it was?

I know if people were ill or there was an emergency they wouldn't go (and that would be awful for them so I wouldn't want that) but if it was because they just didn't feel like it on the day, I would be upset.

[Miane]

I had two hundred people at my wedding.

Every single person turned up.
We even had an extra one.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a wedding where people didn’t turn up.

[StitchingMoss]

Yep I have. Been to two weddings where this has happened. Literally nothing you can do about it.

[TisConfusion]

Miane - that's good to hear!

Apparently at my cousins wedding (I was invited to the evening) about 6 people didn't turn up to the day, so thay equates to almost a whole table of guests and about £600 wasted!

[Justbackfromnewwine]

Yup we had one or two, I think later they said they were not very well.

And at an old school friends wedding she’d sat me next to another old friend I was really looking forward to seeing and she didn’t turn up - messaged to say her husband wasn’t feeling well and she needed to stay with him.
Could be genuine reasons of course but there was a sense of flakiness about it.

[Madeline88]

Yep went to one where the brides sibling and their family didn’t show up! No excuses made either, just didn’t turn up.

[MrsMoastyToasty]

I ended up going to a wedding that I hadn't originally been invited to. The bride and groom had wanted a winter wedding and she got it! Heavy snow meant that a load of out of town guests couldn't make it to the wedding. A group of workmates and I had gone down to the registry office to see them come out after the ceremony. She invited us all along to help eat all the food that she had paid for at the reception hotel.

[Ohrobin]

We had 2 couples not turn up.
1 valid reason that resulted in emergency surgery and life saving treatment - and they still apologise to this day now and I always say but if you hadnt gone to hospital you might have died at my wedding!

2nd couple supposedly drove almost 3 hours and were near the venue and turned around as there was too much traffic to make it on time 🤔 I only invited them as parents pressured me. I suspect they never left and planned this excuse in advance. No one else got stuck in this traffic (Or heard of any traffic) near the venue and most people would have just come for the rest of the day at least. I would have not been bothered at all if they had declined the invite in advance (and was surprise they accepted tbh!)

My dad quickly rang a few of his friends who I had invited for the evening to see if they wanted to come earlier to join for the meal and speeches which was great for them to hear my dad's speech! Worked out well.

But on the day I really didn't care!! Didn't even think about the wasted money as the day was perfect otherwise.

[TisConfusion]

Madeline - that is awful! did they ever speak after that?

[Mummyme87]

Yes I have seen it at some weddings. Unless it’s a genuine reason, they are buggers and would be better to be honest from the start

[Ifailed]

The more people invited, the more likely some will not make it, especially if they have a long journey. There's not much you can do about it and you won't be less married without them, so don't sweat it.

[shoofly]

We had 4 or 5 no shows, one was my very flaky cousin who rang on the morning of the wedding to say he couldn't be bothered! Husband of one of the bridesmaids had mentioned meeting up with a friend of his who lived locally, the following day, so he got his friend to come along (I'd seated husband on same table as flaky cousin, so it worked well.)
A couple who were friends with my Dad didn't appear, I can't remember how we realised, but asked the guys who were driving the wedding cars if they'd like to stay for dinner, they did and had a great time. Irish wedding, rural area, they knew a lot of the guests.

[jcq17]

3 people but it was knee deep in snow and the 3 that's didn't come I didn't care about anyway lol.

[Burlea]

4 didn't turn up for sons wedding. Fortunately we realised in church, two of my friends came to watch and I asked if they wanted to come to fill the spaces which they did.
The other 4 went the next week as they got the dates wrong.

[soupywoopy]

Yep we have quite a few, winter wedding, some people came for ceremony and too ill to stay for the reception (sickness bug going round.. about 5 people) 2 couples told us the day before and 2 of DH friends just didn't turn up, and haven't said sorry. So overall about 10 people less than we should have.

We knew before everyone was seated so went into the room with the wedding planner and got them to take away the place setting and chairs and spread out everyone else's settings. One of those things, don't think anyone else noticed!

[doodlejump1980]

My aunt and godmother came to the service then dingyed the reception because we’d only given my cousin, her son (who we hadn’t had any contact from for 10years) an evening invite. My dad has gone nc with her since (7 years this year!) 🤨

[KatnissMellark]

We had a 3 no shows. One couple with genuine issue and one single person who 'had a cold'

[DontCallMeBaby]

One of DH’s friends missed a train and so didn't bother to turn up. Not coming from somewhere with one train a day, so no reason not to get on the next train. One of my cousins didn’t come, I think she was ill on the day. What annoyed me there was my aunt and uncle wouldn’t give us either daughter’s address, just invite them via us ... so we never heard direct from the cousin who declined the invite, or the one who didn’t turn up on the day. They would have been 28 and 25 at the time.

The other thing was - if I’d intended to go to a wedding and couldn’t go on the day, I’d have had a card and present ready, and I’d have sent them to the couple. I guess some people take the attitude if they didn’t go to the wedding they don’t ‘owe’ a present, and would return it for a refund - but no card? No note, text or email to say ‘sorry I couldn’t make it, hope you had a lovely day’?

[Raisinbrain]

We had 80 guests and two didn't turn up. One has severe mental health issues and the other had to unexpectedly take a parent to hospital that day.

[Since2016]

Yep. Two (plus two kids) who cancelled the day before, and two who cancelled morning of. We no longer speak to the morning of - it was outrageously rude and barely an excuse.

[DontCallMeBaby]

Ahem, I should say, I wasn’t bothered in the day, barely noticed, but clearly I do think ‘fuck me that was rude’ if I think about it, nearly 20 years on!

[Miane]

I’m really surprised it’s so common.

I’ll just think lovely warm thoughts about my polite wedding guests.

[ContadoraExplorer]

We had two but both notified the day before and had absolutely reasonable excuses (family death and family illness meaning one of a couple had to stay home with the kids) but actually had an extra person on the day who had Rsvp'd to say they would come to the service but not stay for the meal who then took one of their places.

Sometimes life just gets in the way and it can't be helped. Rude if they just don't bother turning up though.

[Ifailed]

I’m really surprised it’s so common.

I'm not. Obviously it's very important to the couple, but to the guests it can easily become yet-another-wedding.

[TisConfusion]

Oh dear it seems pretty common then which is...not great

But yeah nothing anyone can do so we'll see!

[whinetime89]

We had 5 no shows who had shit excuses and to be honest I was devastated. So bloody rude