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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

Devastated over the loss of my boy

103 replies

PorklessPie · 03/03/2017 05:23

He went downhill so fast, they did everything they could but he was pts. He was only 9mnths and was so special to me. I haven't eaten or slept, I see him everywhere. He wasn't like a cat he followed me everywhere, played fetch, came when I clicked. He even would let me know when he needed the litter tray and was so fussy about it being clean. He liked me to stay with him whilst he ate and he hated being apart from me, would cry for me. He was a ragdoll and so different from my Moggys. I'm missing spending my mornings with him, and having him sleep on my pillow with me.
Is it wrong I want another ragdoll? Not to replace my boy but to get back a tiny fragment of what he brought to me. I had never had a ragdoll before him but I've read they often have dog like personalities?

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PorklessPie · 03/03/2017 05:40

He came as a kitten from a rescue so hence why I'm not clued up on the breed.

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GRW · 03/03/2017 06:30

I'm so sorry to hear that. 9 months old is still just a kitten, and he sounds wonderful. I have never had a ragdoll and don't know much about them, but I can understand why you would like another.

PorklessPie · 03/03/2017 07:10

Thank you for replying. He was still a baby but so loved. When I would take the children to school he would wait in the window for me to return and make such a fuss as soon as I got in. He was a friend, a companion. He wasn't like a cat to me. In the time he was here he touched me like no other cat I've had. I'm not expecting to have that bond with another kitten, but my moggys aren't lap cats, they don't want or need me like he did. we had a routine together, he would sit on my back whilst I washed my hair in the morning, he would sit on the side of the bath playing whilst the children were in there. Every morning when it was time to get the children up he would go into each of their rooms with me. I miss his fluffy fur and I need to have another kitten to love, who could have similar traits. Oh god I must sound crazy but my heart is in pieces.

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YesItsMeIDontCare · 03/03/2017 07:14

You have my deepest sympathy OP. It's horrible and there are no words to make it better.

Try and take comfort in the knowledge that his life was full of love, and how special he must have felt.

PorklessPie · 03/03/2017 07:36

Thank you, I seriously feel like I can't go on but people will say he was just a pet. But he was a member of my family. That people will judge me for buying a cat but I was lucky to get him from a rescue and I need to have back the level of attention he needed from me. I even miss changing his litter tray constantly every day (he proper fussy about being clean). My daughter was inconsolable and she's only 6, we are a family of vegans and vegetarians so she's over sensitive when it comes to animals. My son has asd and copd, he comes back from a school residential today, he is going to be so upset I'm worried he will end up in hospital with his chest, he's 9. The house is so quiet we have our special time together in the mornings as in such an early riser (4am) anyway. As an introvert he was my friend, my only friend. I'm rambling I'm sorry but the children are getting up soon and I need to try to hold it together.

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Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/03/2017 00:21

I'm so sorry for the loss of your gorgeous boy. .x

purpleme12 · 04/03/2017 00:23

I'm so sorry. I totally understand. Animals are so special. He sounds adorable. It wouldn't be wrong to get another one, everyone's different. It wouldn't be replacing him. You would still grieve him.

OliviaStabler · 04/03/2017 01:06

So sorry your loss

PorklessPie · 04/03/2017 08:19

Thank you all it means a lot. I still have not eaten or slept I'm surviving on my prescription Cocodamol which is spacing me out a bit and numbing me.
If anyone is thinking of getting a ragdoll even if from a rescue, please remember that they can carry a certain gene. My husband took me to see a registered kitten last night, a girl ragdoll who is clear of the gene that killed my boy. I could see so much of my baby in those kittens. The breeders were lovely and gave me plenty of time to play with the kitten. She also told
Me that I was the second person to see her kittens that week who lost theirs in the same way I did.
I know this kitten will be different to my Malcolm and will develop their own funny habits like he did. But I also know that she will be high maintenance and a house cat which is what I'm missing, all the responsibility. It was like having a dog but without the walking and smell. he was so nosey if he heard the door go he would be straight there.
Once again sorry for spelling errors or if his is jumbled and makes no sense, I'm all over the place.

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sugarplumfairy28 · 04/03/2017 21:40

There are no words whatsoever when you lose that incredibly special 'pet'. I lost my boy at the ripe old age of 6 in October. Completely sudden and out of the blue, I still don't feel normal or right without him, my DH bought my a huge canvas of me and my boy for Christmas, it's bigger than any picture of my children. You can only do what you feel is right for you. I have 9 other cats so bringing in another cat isn't fair nor do I feel that it would make anything better. You have to take comfort in what you gave your boy, how you felt about him and him you, and do what you can to bring peace to your life.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 04/03/2017 21:53

I'm so very sorry OP, they really do leave paw prints on our hearts. ❤️🐾
RIP sweet little puss cat Malcolm.xxx

Alfieisnoisy · 04/03/2017 21:59

Bless you OP

I lost my 8 yr old Raggy in November to HCM which is the condition I suspect killed your boy too. His litter mate died at 20 weeks from the same thing.

It's a horrible condition because there is little or no warning of illness until they suddenly go downhill. My boy was fine one moment and five minutes later was lifeless on the floor. No warning at all. His litter mate fell ill at 20 weeks (back in 2008) and had to be pts later the same day...again no warning.

Yes Raggies have lovely personalities and my boy followed me round like a dog..he also snuggled into me every evening for cuddles and it's that loss which is hard to bear.

Just keep in mind that he was lucky enough to know lots of love with you and also to get vet care as soon as he needed it. I know this ended with his loss but at least he didn't get left to suffer.

Thinking of you, I know how horrible this loss is.

PorklessPie · 05/03/2017 06:59

Thank you everyone, I'm so thankful you have taken the time to listen to me. Yes @Alfieisnoisy so heartbreaking, and it just doesn't seem real. The girl ragdoll I'm getting will not be available for another 5 weeks (leaves mum not before 13wks). It's something to focus on, someone to give my love to and a much needed companion. The kitten is expensive, and I wouldn't usually pay (I'm a vegan and massive into support shelters). But I want a cat like my boy, she is a different colour to Malcolm but i know a lot of his behaviours are typical for the breed. I have 3 moggys here but they come and go as they please and like me on their terms.
I'm not ready to look at photos of Malcolm yet, but do plan on putting some up on the wall, plus at Christmas my 6yr old drew a beautiful picture of him which I'm going to get made into a canvas, this is the drawing.

Devastated over the loss of my boy

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PorklessPie · 05/03/2017 07:01

This is the girl who will be coming home to me on the 8th April. I'm going to call her Maureen

Devastated over the loss of my boy

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RubbishMantra · 05/03/2017 07:25

That's a beautiful picture your DD drew of Malcolm, she has quite a talent, doesn't she. I'm so sorry you lost your cat, especially so young. I do sometimes look at my boys in fear that something should happen to them.

Maureen is a gorgeous little fluff-monster! I hope she will help you heal.

Alfieisnoisy · 05/03/2017 07:45

Loving the photo of Maureen. And yes I totally understand you, both my other cats are from rescues. I got my noisy Raggy Alfie (hence my name here lol) from my parents as they moved to a one bed flat and he needed more space.

I am desperate for another one too. This was my Alfie, taken a few days before he died.

Devastated over the loss of my boy

PorklessPie · 05/03/2017 09:49

Thank you @RubbishMantra she is very arty, I always said when she was born I could imagine her to be an illustrator of children's books because of the name she has (Penny-Lane Prudence).
It's so hard to accept because a day before he was his usual happy self. I hope he knew he was loved. Dh is being very good but he is all the support I have. I wish I had my Malcolm, my best friend here. He was so needy he wouldn't eat unless I waited with him and he would even give me a certain cry to let me know he needed the litter tray. I miss how he would steal teddies and play fetch for hours on end given the chance.
I've started to crochet a blanket for Maureen, Malcolm loved the blanket I made him and he was buried with it. Thank you everyone for listening to me ramble, it really helps.

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PorklessPie · 07/04/2017 06:48

So I'm 5 weeks down the line from loosing my precious boy. I still think of him every day, especially at night and first thing. I miss how needy he was and how much he returned my love for him.
Tomorrow my life will become hectic again and I pick up my lovely ragdoll girl. This past week I have gone into full on nesting mode! I have cleaned like my life depends on it and painted two rooms. I've crocheted her toys and a blanket. I'm just so excited and can't wait to see her fluffy face. I can't wait to have another raggie to love. I miss everything single thing about my boy, even down to him needing me to sit with him whilst he ate to checking his 'trousers' for any hang ons after he had a poo .

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Cowardlycustard2 · 07/04/2017 13:50

Hi I'm so pleased to hear that your lovely girl is coming soon and you will have a little bundle of fluff to love again. It is so sad when a pets life is cut so short. My dearest boy cat was killed by a car when he was only 2. It was nearly a year ago but I am still devastated and think about him every day. I got a new little furry fellow a couple of months after he died, not to replace him, but so that something positive could come from his death. You won't ever forget Malcolm but Maureen will have her own personality and ways and you will love her in a different way. Keep us posted and have a great first day with Maureen tomorrow xx

PorklessPie · 07/04/2017 14:20

Thank you I will post a photo tomorrow. I'm beyond excited and I can't wait to see traits of him in her that I know are unique to ragdolls.

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PorklessPie · 08/04/2017 16:07

My precious girl

Devastated over the loss of my boy

Devastated over the loss of my boy

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juneybean · 08/04/2017 16:11

She's beautiful! Welcome home little Maureen!

Fluffycloudland77 · 08/04/2017 18:00

She's very beautiful. How is she settling in?.

Wolfiefan · 08/04/2017 18:05

Bless her. She's gorgeous. I'm so sorry for your loss. Of course she can't replace your previous boy but I hope she will help your heart to heal.

PorklessPie · 08/04/2017 18:42

She's doing brilliantly! I think she's worn out from the journey home, but she's happy to snuggle on laps and she purrs very loud.

Devastated over the loss of my boy

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