Heartbroken

(41 Posts)
twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 00:22:28

Not sure why I'm posting here but I guess I just need a handhold
I adopted a gorgeous border collie from a rescue when he was a pup 3 years ago and he is honestly the most amazing dog but unfortunately I need to find him a new home
Due to relationship break downs I now live on my own and have started a new job doing 4 night shifts a week. I don't have family or friends able to help me and this has resulted in him being on his own around 50 hours a week which is making him so unhappy😔
I've come to the heart breaking decision and contacted the rescue I originally got him from to find a new home and they have arranged to come and collect him at 1pm tomorrow.
I can't put into words how heartbroken I am but I know deep down this is 100% this is what's best for him. He's been there for me through a lot and he's my best friend and my rock. Before I started work we did everything together, he slept in my bed, we ate together and he came everywhere with me.
I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to cope with him not being here with me 💔

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IncrediblySadToo Sat 11-May-19 01:01:08

Oh no 😢

Did you try asking on FB etc if anyone local fancied being a doggy Grandparent/Aunty/Friend?!

My Mum is a child/doggy nana to her next door neighbours. The kids call her Nana & she walks/minds the dog for them too.

I would happily have a similar relationship with a dog nearby. I can’t have one of my own right now, but I could help out someone like you. I’m sure loads of people would love the opportunity.

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 01:04:47

I have asked and posted on Facebook for people who would like to look after him 4 nights a week and return to me for the 3 but no one seemed to be interested and just wanted him full time😔 I didn't want to rehome him through Facebook/pets4homes/gumtree etc as I want proper home checks done to ensure he has the best of the best
I have never spoken to my next door neighbours and I move at the end of the month too to a smaller 1 bedroom house
I wish you lived close to me as that would of been perfect!x

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user1468246318 Sat 11-May-19 07:32:54

Sorry to hear this twinkle, that is a really impossible situation to be in, but you are doing what’s best in the long term for your dog. They don’t like being on their own all the time and if you don’t have a support network around you it can be really difficult.

Just wondering if another job that means you don’t have to do nights is a possibility? Then during the day you could get a dog walker or use doggy daycare, if funds permit?

Hugs to you xx

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 07:36:48

@user1468246318 - I've not had a wink of sleep all night plus I'm at work tonight too😔, unfortunately I need this job as it is above minimum wage and where I live jobs are very rare
I really do not know how I will cope but I need to stop being so selfish as I know that he is not happy and I know he deserves better than me
The rescue have promised to update me when he finds a new home x

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twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 07:37:44

@user1468246318 - and thank you for the reply it means a lot to some people this might not seem like a big deal but to me is massive and very tough xx

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Lozzy25 Sat 11-May-19 07:49:58

I don't know if this is a thing where you are but where I live there are companies that come round to walk/visit your dog when you are at work smile even for an hour just to break the day up! So sorry to hear what your going through, I have 2 dogs and this would break my heart sad

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twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 07:54:11

@Lozzy25 - unfortunately I leave for work at 7pm and don't get home till around 8:30 in the morning so all companies I have approached don't offer there service during the houses as I'm from quite a small town. It is truly heartbreaking I've not been to sleep at all I've just been cuddling him all night knowing it was the last night he was here
I had no other choice but to take this job but at the moment I just feel so selfish and like I have let him down x

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werideatdawn Sat 11-May-19 08:34:37

sad gutted for you. You're doing the right thing for him but that doesn't make it any easier on you. X

originallyfromLA Sat 11-May-19 08:34:55

Is there no way that this could be a temporary problem and you could start job hunting in a different field or location? I'm almost certainly not in your area but I'd help out if I could! Maybe there's a similar, more local MN who could help out??

originallyfromLA Sat 11-May-19 08:42:51

OR - someone who could take him temporarily until you're in a bit better situation? I would very seriously do this for you so PM me if you want xx

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 08:43:12

@werideatdawn - I just want him to be happy the little bugger is currently sat on the bath mat while I have a bath and keeps trying to jump in 🤦🏻‍♀️ he's been my rock and my best friend we never spent a minute apart x

@originallyfromLA - unfortunately I am quite young and finding a new job or moving to a new area is more or less impossible I live in a small town in the north east of England where jobs are very rare thank you so much if only you lived locally

The rescue is coming to collect him between 1 and 2 so the plan is to go to the local fields and have a big last run together. I have tried all the options possible and this is the only choice I have. Working 4 12 hour shifts a week is not really what I wanted but I can't be picky as I'm lucky to even manage to get a job. Thank you for all your kind words it feels so nice to talk to people ❤️

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twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 08:45:40

@originallyfromLA - plans are already in place for him to be collected but luckily he is going to a foster home on a farm and they have a view to adopt him as I'm told so I suppose there's a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing he isn't go to be put in kennels
Thank you it honestly means so much💕

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IncrediblySadToo Sat 11-May-19 08:53:01

Can you not wait until you’ve moved and see what your new neighbours/area offer?

Or ask on here for a foster family? Obviously you’d need to check people out, but it’s what I’d do if I was in your position.

If I was able to have a dog full time I’d happily foster him, but unfortunately I can’t right now, but I could have shared care if you were closer. I’m sure there are other MNers who can help out here.

Why not give yourself a week or two to try to find another solution via MN? You could tell the rescue not to come today as you think you have another solution and will let them know?

It seems so sad to let him go when you love him so much and it’s just because of overnights. They sleep most of that time anyway.

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 09:00:05

@IncrediblySadToo - I am moving into a council house and when I went to view the house I asked what the next door neighbour was like and she said he was a very young lad and I know it might sound harsh I wouldn't feel comfortable him being in my home and round my possessions especially due to which area I'm moving too
I set up a camera too see what he does when I'm not here and it consisted of him chewing shoes, urinating and pooing everywhere and ripping my couch up he gets very distressed as he has always slept in my bed with me
Thank you for your kind words and options but I honestly do feel him going to a foster home on a farm with a view of adoption is what's best for him especially as my new house doesn't have a garden either just a very small back yard x

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pinkhousesarebest Sat 11-May-19 09:01:13

My heart is breaking reading this.

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 09:07:48

@pinkhousesarebest - people must think I'm a crazy women but when you are on your own with no friends or family and you have spent every minute of every day with him doing everything together it rips you apart inside not only do I see him as my best friend he's the only family I have which is why I have duty to ensure his needs and happiness is considered I will be given regular updates I can imagine how happy he will be being able to run about in the fields and always having that company there with him😔
It's going to be a very long day I've not slept in 24 hours I'm at work tonight and knowing he's not going to be there in the morning when I get home is soul destroying x

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cricketmum84 Sat 11-May-19 09:11:46

I'm sorry sad this must be so hard for you.

Try to take comfort in the fact that even through your own pain you are doing your very best for him and putting his needs first.

Could you maybe ask the new family if you could go and walk him occasionally?

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 09:19:01

@cricketmum84 unfortunately he will going quite far away from me and in all honestly I don't think my emotions would be able to cope visiting him but I have been reassured that photos and videos will be sent and I'll be receiving updates x

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AvocadosBeforeMortgages Sat 11-May-19 09:31:22

My heart breaks for you sad

I'm so sorry that life has dealt you this hand, but all I can say is that you clearly love him so much and are being incredibly selfless by rehoming him.

Keep in touch with his adopters if you can; perhaps you could send him a Christmas and birthday present?

Starlight2004 Sat 11-May-19 09:32:32

This is so upsetting, I can't imagine how hard this must be.

But have I got it right that he is only alone at night? Will he not just sleep during this time if you take him for a long walk before you leave and maybe get him used to sleeping downstairs/not in your bed even on the nights you are there?

Many dogs sleep downstairs alone all night so if he got used to this it wouldn't be so different if you were out.

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 09:44:52

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages - he will defiantly still be receiving Christmas and birthday presents as he always has done last year for his birthday I had him a cake made and we had a trip to a pet shop💕
@Starlight2004 - he's on his own from 7pm which is when I set off for work till around half 8/9 in the morning I've tried having him sleep downstairs but he just constantly barked and I even set a camera up too see what he got up to and he urinated in my bed, chewed shoes, pooed everywhere and was clearly very distressed, by the time I get home I am absolutely worn out x

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IncrediblySadToo Sat 11-May-19 10:07:04

You’re being very self less and strong. If you think this is your best option then that’s what needs to be done. I hope he enjoys life on the farm. I’m sure whoever adopts him will love him loads too.

My heart is 💔 for you though x

hullaballoonie Sat 11-May-19 12:14:41

You are 100% doing the right thing by your dog, I am just so sorry its so heartbreaking for you. When you feel strong enough I would gently suggest you consider the possibility of adopting a rescue cat. They can be left alone and you can even get cats that need to be indoors, as long as they have water, litter tray, maybe a scratching post or cat tree, they are happy to snooze while you are out and provide company when you're home. Might not feel right for you but I just wanted to suggest it.

twinkle36 Sat 11-May-19 12:16:28

@IncrediblySadToo - thank you💕 the lady has just messaged me saying she is on her way so we are having our final goodbyes x
@hullaballoonie - hi I already have a rescue cat she's strictly a indoor cat I've had her around a year now x

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