I feel awful. Literally like I am caught between a rock and a hard place. But I'm in such a dilemma with our beagle I have no idea what to do for the best.
I'm currently a stay at home, full time student mother to my daughter, 10, with ASD. My partner works full time. We have pretty hectic lives. I generally only have the time that my daughter is at school to do any uni work (I'm with the OU) and around that I run a community initiative, planning a wedding and am chief cook and bottle washer.
Since getting our beagle 2 and a half years ago - things have only gotten worse. He is incredibly destructive. If he can chew it, he will - especially if it is one of my daughters toys. He is constantly on edge. As soon as anyone walks past the house AT ALL he will bark until long after they have gone. He pees in the house all the time, although he knows to go outside and will do that too. He grabs items he knows he shouldn't have. He has destroyed my £2.5k sofa, glasses, countless duvets (from peeing on them), generated complaints from neighbours and has bitten me at least 3 times and my daughter once. The biting was NOT his fault as a rule, he was resource guarding and we have come up with a strategy to prevent that happening anymore. But he is becoming more vicious as time is going on. If I try to move him off of the back of the sofa he growls and snaps at me every time. It's exhausting trying to clean up/deal with whatever new level of naughtiness he is aspiring to every day.
My other half does not want him to go and whenever I mention rehoming he becomes incredibly stand offish. This is breaking my heart also. I feel like I am being forced to carry on dealing with a dog that is making me ill with stress with no acceptance of the stress it puts me under coming from the one person who should. He just says that we are different types of people (that I am a stress head and he is not) and refuses to acknowledge that he would be less stressed with him as he gets 8 hours break from him 5 days a week where I do not.
We struggle to sit down and watch anything together of an evening when we want to sit and have calm as the dog is so hyper. We can't have a cuddle or a kiss as he barks and jumps over us. We can not eat a meal without being barked at.
For me it's constant. I'm feeling desperate and miserable and I feel like I have failed this dog and continuing to do so, but know if I rehome him I will be forever reminded of it by my other half. I've asked him to walk him regularly which he said he would, but he doesn't.
I am usually so busy during the day and the few hours I have spare to do any uni work/clean the house/do chores/plan a wedding/work for the community initiative/attending hospital appointments (usually over an hour away from where we live) with my daughter/school appts to have the time to walk him.
I'm worried sick that he will snap at my daughter and hurt her, hurt me, and it pulls at my heart strings that he probably feels unloved. We don't spend the time we should on him.
My daughter doesn't want him to go, my other half doesn't want him to go and I wish I wasn't thinking about rehoming him. But I simply can not cope anymore. We don't have the money for trainers/dog walkers/doggy daycare.
This whole thing is making me view my partner in a different light and it's breaking my heart. I need support not derision and I have no idea what to do for the best....
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76 replies
daydreamsanddaffodils · 03/12/2018 11:48
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