Attending a funeral at 38 weeks - clothing advice

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

I'm attending a family funeral next week. Unfortunately, at 38 weeks my clothing options are seriously limited. Basically there are two possibilities:

• chocolate brown wrap dress. I could find a black camisole for underneath and black hold ups and shoes. Black and brown not great together generally, but probably better than cream camisole?

• very casual black 3/4 sleeve t-shirt and black jersey trousers. Has the advantage of being black, but obviously far less smart.

What do people think sounds most appropriate? Buying stuff not really an option as I'm so far along and this is definitely our last child. Nor, unfortunately, do I have black jackets/cardigans that I can even get over my shoulders due to spreading late pregnancy rib cage. Even a month ago I could have cobbled together something far more formal and I feel like I'm going to look unsuitable whatever I do.

[tribpot]

Is it a church funeral? If yes, I would definitely go for option one, with black and brown together.

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

I don't know yet if it's church or crematorium. Definitely a fairly formal congregation though. Brown isn't tooo bad is it? It's not a bright colour. I don't have a black pashmina or anything, but I'm just wondering if my mum might. It's the sort of thing she might own.

[tribpot]

Often funerals now specify bright colours or regular clothes (although a top tip from a friend: don't dress head to toe in yellow and crash the wrong funeral). I'm sure that if it's a dark-clothes affair brown would be fine. If your mum had a black pashmina that'd be good, though.

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

I haven't heard about the exact date or clothing yet, but given the people involved I'm not expecting a bright colours request (I can do that one, quite easily, as I have a couple of bright-but-formal work dresses ).

Thanks for the advice. I'll tap up my mum and see what she has in the way of pashminas. Thinking about it, she's a size bigger than me too, so maybe she has a black jacket I could get on, even though I couldn't do it up.

[millymae]

I really wouldn't worry too much OP. One thing is for sure the deceased wont care at all and neither should the family - the fact that you are there to pay your respects at such a late stage of pregnancy is what will be important to them not whether you are wearing the right colours.

Before children the nature of my job meant that I attended lots of funerals and I've seen the whole spectrum of clothes wearing from denim and shorts to black from head to toe. If the last family funeral I attended is anything to go by (my much loved uncle - church followed by cremation) the the older generation stuck to dark colours certainly, but the younger ones definitely didn't. A bit of colour at funeral is not a bad thing.

[Twinklestein]

Having been to too many funerals recently, people don't generally seem to wear black any more. A few people do, but most people seem to wear darkish clothing. I'd say your brown wrap dress would be fine, even with the cream camisole. I think a black one might look a bit odd.

[MinesAPintOfTea]

I think if you're in fairly respectul/smart dark clothing that will be fine. I've worn a light blouse under a jacket to a funeral before and not felt out of place so even a cream camisole would be fine (under a dark dress, I recommend you don't go wearing it alone ). I would go more formal than more black as wearing casual clothes looks more disrespectul IMO.

That said, the close family will be more bothered that you came, and understand that wardrobe options are limited in late pregnancy. Don't wear anything too uncomfortable to wear for the whole service/tea.

Sorry for your loss OP

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

Thanks for all the comments. Funeral now looking like the week after. So 39 weeks. Praying I can even get into the dress in a fortnight.

[skinnyamericano]

I'm sure the dress will be fine - as long as it's a dark colour, I don't think it matters.

I have sympathy with you, having been to a funeral every pregnancy. People are always very sweet though, and understand you may not have the perfect outfit.

[BarbaraWoodlouse]

Option one sounds fine. Really people will understand that your wardrobe is limited and just appreciate your showing up. Similarly I would base your choice of shoe on comfort rather than style (within reason!)

That said brown and navy seem to be common colours at funerals regardless these days.

[PenguinsEatSpinach]

Thanks again for all the comments. Thankfully I have black ballet pumps and tend to wear flat styles of shoe even when not pregnant, so I'm fine there.

[Jbck]

I attended friend's Mum's funeral at 39 weeks and really think the family wouldn't have cared if I'd turned up in my pjs, were really just grateful that I'd made the effort.

I was pretty big and uncomfortable and it was standing room only in the crematorium. Lovely chap gave me a seat.

I wore black trousers, dark grey top with tie bit under the bust to the back which was smart and just wrapped a big black scarf/ pashmina type thing around me. It was November so pretty chilly but it was fine.