I've been reading here for a while but never posted but I'm at my wits end lately. Sorry in advance for the huge rant of a post...!
I've been dating my partner who has a 2 year old boy for just about a year and things have always been pretty serious, I see my future with them both. I love my boyfriend and his son so much but very often I find it difficult to be in this situation, especially dealing with bad anxiety and depression. This is made worse very frequently by disagreeing on parenting - I KNOW that I'm not the parent and some might argue I shouldn't have any say at all but I've known my SS since he was just 1yo and my partner has always asked for my advice, support and given me 'permission' to take on a parenting role.
But when it comes to disagreements, the arguments get pretty nasty and result in my partner disrespecting me, insulting me and shouting at me - and even worse, in front of his son. He has a very short temper... so my only response is to walk out the room and isolate myself (usually resulting in a panic attack). I'm beginning to hate myself, and truly believe the things that he's saying, that I'm cruel and horrible and out to make his and his sons life miserable (he has said this in front of SS!!!).
I've given myself up to live with them both, cook their dinners, clean the house, do the laundry, everything. I plan meals that everyone will eat to avoid conflict, go out and do the grocery shopping to ensure everything is in, plan things to do at the weekend, buy him toys that will help him learn and develop (as opposed to the assorted dinosaur figures and kinder surprises that boyfriend always goes for!). I've bought him fun dinner sets to help his eating (partner and BM don't make an effort to improve his very fussy, almost non-existent appetite!). I went out and bought him a dinosaur bedding and now he LOVES to stay in his own bed - but partner always takes him into our bed when I'm not there anyway... just one example of his inconsistency to discipline.
I love them both and only have everybody's best interests at heart but my partner sees it as nagging and thinks I'm being too harsh by suggesting, what I think, is very basic discipline / teaching. Communication is almost out of the question at this point, he jumps straight to the defensive and refuses to speak (at least, without yelling) and I feel lost.
Am I being too harsh? Is it my place to say anything? I'm at a loss.
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Advice please :( ?
74 replies
user1467697399 · 05/07/2016 07:20
OP posts:
Queensbelfastvcisasexistprat ·
05/07/2016 07:25
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