My ds is 13 months. I've just been reading through a years worth of things I posted, almost all of them sleep related. (I'm bored)
He slept okay ish till he was around 4 months. Don't get me wrong, he'd only sleep on me (bf baby). But he'd sleep well on me throughout the night!
At 4 months life changed. He suddenly started waking, within weeks it was hideous. We were getting 45-60 minute stretches at most.
I began to detest motherhood, detest my baby and longed for my old life. I was absolutely exhausted, felt like I was getting it all wrong. I was told by MIL everyday "I've never know a baby like him, you've produced the most needy baby ever by breastfeeding".
I must have posted a new thread weekly begging for help. I always got conflicting advice as everyone had different babies and different experiences.
This went on till he was around 7.5/8 months. So around 4 months of hell.
Well if I could go back 12 months now, I would tell myself this.
This isn't forever
Sleep deprivation is absolutely awful. But it doesn't last a lifetime. Sometimes it lasts for weeks, for others it's months. Very rarely years. I know the odd person who's 3 year old still wakes but we're talking once a night maybe twice and it's brief.
The 1st year sleep deprivation is truly awful but IT DOES END! I was so hung up on 'bad habits' and the fact my 4 month old wasn't able to self soothe! What 4 month old should self soothe? ! Why should they have to! They're so tiny!
I really found for us that around the 10 month mark things began to change. They start being able to form attachments to teddies which they find comfort in, and they also are able to start to realise that if you leave, you will come back.
I contemplated cry it out so many times and I'm so glad now that I didn't. At 10 months we did 3 nights of controlled crying. It worked a treat BECAUSE HE WAS READY. He quickly learned that we would go back to him and was then confident to fall asleep on his own. He wouldn't have been able to grasp this at a much younger age so it just wasn't worth it.
At 13 months he now falls asleep on his own every night without a single tear. He cuddles his teddy and chats to himself for 2 mins and then will sleep 12 hours through.
Please in no way think this is a boast post! As it isn't although I do know I'm lucky (and also know it's all subject to change. And could be a totally different story if we have another baby).
But 9 months ago I longed to hear people tell me that it would get better as I couldn't see an end in sight.
Hang in there. Motherhood is bloody hard but things WILL get better.
Don't end up like me, regretting that you spent so much of that precious year worrying about sleep habits and getting it all wrong.
Do what feels right for you :-)
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Hang in there - things WILL get better!
38 replies
MYA2016 · 17/02/2017 21:58
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