In a nut shell, Dad was an eternal optomist, always happy, never moaned and took such an interest in my life. The void he has left has totally shook my world. I am still dealing with my own grief and know losing him has changed me forever.
My Mother has always been a moaner. She is a glass half empty person and critices everyone and everything. Since my dad died this has become much more apparant and I now dread calling her, visiting her and sometimes I actually want to slap her. (Then I hate myself for feeling like this)
She is a volunteer in a charity shop - she moans they let her do all the work and nobody esle does anything.
She moans that her Mother (my Gran) and her sisters do not support her. (not true)
She moans she never hears from my dad's friends - truth is she slated them all to other people and they heard about it.
She tells me that her friends think I am not supporting her enough and that she is so upset to hear this from them....
When I point out what she is moaning about is not quite true she cries and says I never support her.
She visits my dad's grave every week and crys to stragners who are also visiting a grave...
She slags off my Gran all the time, despite her being 85 and having 5 other daughters to deal with.
She always plasy the victim and uses words such as 'I can't take anymore', 'They've kicked me in the teeth' etc etc
I get a blow by blow account of her grief every day - I cried all day yesterday/I nearly collapsed in the kitchen/I broke down in the supermarket/I was walking the floors at 3am/I am not sleeping/eating ......she acts like I am so over dad dying and has never once asked how I am or how I am coping.
She never asks how I am, she knows nothing about my life she just talks about herself and how hard it all is.
I am an only child so no one else to share the burden, I was so close to my Dad and miss him terribly.
dad walked on eggshells around Mum and did anything to keep the peace, as did I when I was younger. She is they type of person who will not take criticism and she will end up in tears, crying louder than anyone else saying how much I have hurt her.
My Mum only has me and I want to improve things but need some advice.
Sorry this is so long.
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Since my Dad died I am starting to hate my Mother....
64 replies
DrNortherner · 15/03/2010 13:12
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