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Boyfriend 'jealous' of his nephew and generally rude to his family, wwyd?

(53 Posts)
noIDforthis Mon 07-Sep-09 11:27:41

regularish but have namchanged for this

hae been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we don't live together, have no children either for some background

was at his mothers yesterday, where he lives, and he was generally rude to his family, doesn't make them a drink when he makes himself one, refuses to do his own washing or ironing, doesn't pay housekeeping. He is great to me though and will do everything for me, but has so little respect for his mum and dad.

His younger sister then came round with her 2yo who was ill with sickness and diarreah (sp!), which I also had. We spent a few mins trying to work out if we had eaten the same thing to see if we could work out where it had come from. Boyfriend then shouts 'I've had enough of this, nobody gave a shit when I was ill, shut up about it!'. His birthday is near the babys, and he was very jealous when the baby was born that no one paid any attention to his birthday. Writing this down he sounds like a spoilt brat, I had to leave his house last night as I was so annoyed by this, I didn't mention it, just said i didn't feel well.I really don't know where to go from here,I need to speak to him about it, but will he ever change?!

TheArmadillo Mon 07-Sep-09 11:29:05

Run far far away.

Seriously.

HecatesTwopenceworth Mon 07-Sep-09 11:31:52

Oh dear. I would advise you get away now! You have no ties. Please don't create any! It is easy to walk away now - no kids, no shared home. If you don't, trust me when I tell you that things will not be good.

How he treats them will be how he will treat you if you marry him / live with him / have a child with him.

Get out now while it's easy.

Buda Mon 07-Sep-09 11:31:56

And run fast.

He sounds like a spoilt, immature, selfish brat. And people who have reached 'adulthood' like that will not change.

BroodyChook Mon 07-Sep-09 11:32:23

Have to agree with TheArmadillo. He sounds ridiculously immature.

NicknameTaken Mon 07-Sep-09 11:34:16

Completely agree with the others. This is a preview of how he will treat you sooner or later, and certainly if you have a child with him. Run.

MrFlibble Mon 07-Sep-09 11:35:03

He sounds like he has a right attitude problem, would advise you to proceed with caution!

wwyd - dump him.

you need a dp... not a child

weegiemum Mon 07-Sep-09 11:35:44

My reaction was "how old is he?" if he is jealous of a baby!

Tortington Mon 07-Sep-09 11:36:47

hes a total knob

LaurieFairyCake Mon 07-Sep-09 11:36:48

He might change.

This behaviour is understandable if under 24, if he's in his 30's or 40's run like the wind

AMumInScotland Mon 07-Sep-09 11:36:51

Unfortunately, men who do "everything" for their girlfriend and nothing for their family are not that rare. The problem is, you will become "family" soon enough, and you can see very clearly how you will be treated then.

Don't kid yourself that he'll be different with you - he is the way he is, and you won't change him.

If you stay with him, you will be no better treated than his sister is, and you children together will be treated no better than his nephew - he will be a big baby who will resent the fact that you are more worried about a tiny child's illness than his.

noIDforthis Mon 07-Sep-09 11:37:09

you have all completely echoed my thinking

I say to him all the time this is how you will treat me and he says he wont

were supposed to be going on holiday tomorrow

Katisha Mon 07-Sep-09 11:37:16

Danger signals flashing. If he can't be bothered to treat his parents with respect, eventually he will treat you the same.

RudolphHucker Mon 07-Sep-09 11:39:34

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HTH

AccioPinotGrigio Mon 07-Sep-09 11:50:52

How old is he? I am guessing about 19. Isn't this sort of self-centredness a sign of sociopathic tendencies? Maybe not but I would still be thinking of ending it.

noIDforthis Mon 07-Sep-09 11:54:32

hes 23, very selfish and immature

but can be lovely, its just this one side to him i can't cope with, yesterday was breaking point I think

AnyFucker Mon 07-Sep-09 12:16:08

when you become "family" he will treat you like shit

obviously, familiarity breeds contempt for this particular pondife

bin him

my mum advised me yrs ago...look how a bloke treats his mum, it will tell you a lot (in lots of ways smile)

Ewe Mon 07-Sep-09 12:17:43

God he sounds absolutely HIDEOUS. Ditch him now!

I mean really, jealous of a 2yo? FFS.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 07-Sep-09 12:20:24

Don't even bother. A 'lovely' side is not enough to make up for being a lazy, selfish, immature prick. Believe me, 5 years down the line when he refuses to do any housework or even pick up his dirty socks the 'lovely' stuff he does will not make up for it. In 10 years when you are doing every night waking, shitty nappy and early morning you will not give a flying fuck that he can be 'lovely'. All the flowers and romantic words in the world will mean jack shit in the face of real life with a useless manchild like this. Except that will be your life.

You can see far more how a person is from seeing them with family, and also with strangers eg waiters, than how they are with you. With family they know what they can get away with you see, and with strangers it doesn't matter if they are knobheads. It's only with people they have to impress that they make an effort. And as someone else said - if you get married and have kids you will be family and treated accordingly.

MadameCastafiore Mon 07-Sep-09 12:22:49

He sounds like is is going to be a great husband and father!

WANKER!

SheWillBeLoved Mon 07-Sep-09 12:25:40

He sounds vile. How he treats his mum is how he will treat you when/if you live together. How he treats his nephew is how he will treat your children, when/if you have any. Jealous of a sick 2 year old? Really? God help any other poor child who dares take away any of his attention.

To echo everybody else - run.

noIDforthis Mon 07-Sep-09 12:35:10

thank you all, you have given me the kick up the bum i really need, its all well and good thinking it over myself but an obbjective ear really shows what a twat he is

Do I go on holiday or not?

SheWillBeLoved Mon 07-Sep-09 12:40:13

I suppose it all depends on whether you want to continue this relationship. If yes, then go. If not, then don't.

No sense in going on holiday and prolonging the agony of ending it, assuming you won't end it before tomorrow and will continue to be a 'couple' on holiday.

Anniegetyourgun Mon 07-Sep-09 12:40:20

Up to you, if it's booked and it's somewhere you really want to go. Going on holiday together isn't the same as making a life commitment. You might feel uncomfortable though, now he's shown his niceness is an act; and there's always the possibility the mask may slip when you are away together. What a pity you found out so close to the holiday, so you don't have time to think it out fully.

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