Thinking about someone else while at it...

[WhosThatGirl]

He's had his hair cut (OK, I cut it) and last night in the subdued lighting of our bedroom, I pretended he was someone else with the same hairstyle. I'm not saying who, or you will all guess who I am, and (duh!) I namechanged to be anonymous, but it's no-one I know personally.

Is it really, really bad that I actually enjoyed it for the first time by doing that?

[OverMyDeadBody]

God I do this all the time.

Of course it's not bad! If you both enjoy it it doesn't matter what either person is actually thinking about during the fun.

Although, if like you said you actually enjoyed it for the first time, does that mean your DP doesn't actually turn you on?

[OverMyDeadBody]

lol at Johnnny Vegas

Yes, that would be bad

[WhosThatGirl]

Oh good grief, I'm blushing now for real. I'm a regular and you will so know who I am.

No, don't really fancy Dh, never really have. But I did in the half-light last night. At certain angles it was an uncanny likeness, I did really well with the hairgel.

I am so naughty. It's not Johnny Vegas. (Or Daniel Craig, yuk)

[OverMyDeadBody]

no, DC is so not gorgeous!

Go on, tell us who it was!

[meemar]

LOL Half-light and hairgel are the ingredients for great sex.

only on MN!

[WhosThatGirl]

lol at you lot trying to work out who it is. Seriously, if I say, my anonymity will disappear in a flash. Not sure why that matters on MN, but for some reason, this just embarrasses the hell out of me. Not because he's an embarrassing person to fancy, but because I feel like the saddest woman in the world for pretending I was shagging him while with Dh.

(Daniel Craig looks like a potato. Him and Wayne Rooney, in a spud-sack. erk.)

[OverMyDeadBody]

no, DC is too old, and his face is all squashed. There are far more gorgeous specimen out there to drool over.

It's not Tony Blair is it?

[OverMyDeadBody]

[JonesTheSteam]

David Tennant - doesn't he use a lot of hair gel as Dr Who?

[snowleopard]

Ha ha I have an idea who you are. The hair gel is helping me guess.

[snowleopard]

I wasn't thinking DT.

[WhosThatGirl]

Tony Blair?! That's a definite no.

So other people do it, yeah? It just feels like a mix of cheating and utter sad-actness.

[OverMyDeadBody]

Everyone does it WhosThatGirl, now banish those guilty feelings.

Sex would become very dull indeed if we could never indulge in a bit of fantasy and imagination.

[WhosThatGirl]

I just think he'd be mortified if he ever knew (and he so isn't going to, obviously). I've been operating for the last 8 years on the presumption that a good sex life means focusing on the other person properly, and I've always found myself wanting to get it over with as soon as.

(lol about the hair gel, I should have been more careful to not giving clues. Not giving anymore )

So everyone does it?

[WhosThatGirl]

Cheers. Honestly, I'm so not usually this hung-up about this sort of thing. I'm simply masquerading as a bashful ingenue, you understand, I don't know what's the matter with me.

He's just phoned. I was blushing on the ruddy phone.

[snowleopard]

Who DH? Or HIM?

[WhosThatGirl]

yeah, I'd be on MN if HE just phoned me, I wouldn't be frantically farming out the kids and putting on my best pants or anything...

No, it was Dh. Who is just as good with a bedside lamp and some hairgel. Which I should probably be pleased about, really.

[procrastinatingparent]

A bit of a dissenting voice here but I don't do it, although I do agree that probably lots of people do.

Firstly, I'd just giggle because at some point my imagination would let me down and then there would be the horrible shock of 'changing' partners mid-shag which would be too much for my libido to cope with.

Secondly, I'd be really unhappy if he did that to me. He assures me he doesn't. (He could not be telling the truth, of course.

Having said that, perhaps you could morph the fantasy and the reality together over a period time, and rejuvenate your sex life ... I do think sex is mostly about what is going on in your head.

Sorry to sound like a bit of a spoilsport/

[WhosThatGirl]

oh.