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boyfriend that I do not love but we have 2 children together has just walked out, do I grab the chance or take him back?

(66 Posts)
laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:35:26

Boyfriend of 11 years has got in a drunken strop and just walked out, should I just say that is the end and find someone new or should I cling on?

We have two children together, however they are both very young and I think they would get over their daddy leaving, should I just make a break for it?

if anyone needs more details please specify and I will be happy to give them.

Carmenere Thu 17-Jul-08 23:39:03

God yes, you obviously don't love him and you both should have a chance to find someone who cares about you.

moondog Thu 17-Jul-08 23:43:37

Blimey, do you give up this easily with everything? hmm

1973 Thu 17-Jul-08 23:44:57

god yes, if you wanted out anyway, seize the chance.

Beetroot Thu 17-Jul-08 23:45:29

sieze the day and enjoy

pinkteddy Thu 17-Jul-08 23:46:29

does he often get in a drunken strop?

RambleOn Thu 17-Jul-08 23:48:37

moondog - give her a break, she lasted 11 years wink

laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:50:02

no he is very kind to me, but I guess I am still very young (27?) , normally it is me in the drunken strop, however, he always considers himself hard done by.

laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:52:24

I think perhaps you all need some more details.

We have been a rather happy couple, but he has completly let himself go, and i'M FED UP AND BORED of him.

Is this really enough of an excuse to let go of a family unit?

moondog Thu 17-Jul-08 23:52:59

aLL THE MORE REASon to hold out for another 11. I can't bear the way people convince themselves that divorce/separation doesn't affect their kids.

It is possibly the single most traumatic thing they will go through ever.

QuintessentialShadows Thu 17-Jul-08 23:55:12

maybe a stable family life just doesnt suit you? I mean, if your complaint is that he is boring and let him self go. Does he have any redeeming qualities?

laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:55:15

I know you are right moondog sad

Which is why I know if I said ok thats it, then it would be for my own selfish reasons, nothing more because he is a tolorent and lovely guy....

just want an excuse really.

QuintessentialShadows Thu 17-Jul-08 23:56:26

Just let him go. He cant be very happy if this is how you value him. Give this poor lovely guy a chance of meeting somebody who WILL value him.

laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:56:59

Quintessentialshadows - yes unfortunatly for me yes he has alot of redeeming features, everyone I know wants to do a wife swap with me for a holiday,

but I am so bored with my relationship now.

moondog Thu 17-Jul-08 23:57:21

I don't think there is anything wrong with telling him nicely that he has let himself go though. We all want someone who looks their best. I constantly bark at my dh and tell him to lay off the food. grin

laralamb Thu 17-Jul-08 23:59:02

lol moondog, he does not shave ever, if you saw him, you would just thing omg this guy lives in a cardboardbox

QuintessentialShadows Thu 17-Jul-08 23:59:20

Well, I have a suggestion for you ir you are bored. Why dont you leave him and your kids? Plenty of opportunities for fun and the single life! You are still young!

Personally, I dont believe in bored. Only boring people are bored. It is up to YOU to make your life exciting, not him. He might be pretty bored of you too! smile

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:00:33

I have little doubt he is bored of me aswell, then we would both be selfish if we called it quits?

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:01:14

I think we both want out, but morals keep us together, is this right?

colacubes Fri 18-Jul-08 00:03:39

In my experience, the grass is not greener, infact its usually a muddy mess on the other side of that fence, so if thats what you are thinking, be sure!

But if you genuinely dont love or want him, then let him go, and get on with your life.

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:04:00

I'm 27 am I doomed to stick in a stale relationship for the next 50 years?

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:04:50

can I have a vote what others would do in my situ?

QuintessentialShadows Fri 18-Jul-08 00:05:16

I think you need to sit down and talk to your boyfriend. No screaming and shouting and blaming, just an honest exchange of thoughts. There may still be a chance you and him can work it out, but it could be an amicable split.

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:09:42

do you think it's woth the split the QS?

laralamb Fri 18-Jul-08 00:10:44

it would be amicable I am sure.

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