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online dating - is this normal??

(61 Posts)
susia Wed 09-Jul-08 20:53:38

I have been chatting to a man on a dating website and spoke on the phone on Monday. He said he'd call next week to arrange a date.

Anyway, this evening I got a text saying something like ...'this is my email address...see you tomorrow', I texted back saying 'I don't think this was meant for me?' expecting him to pretend it was even if it wasn't or something similar but he texted back 'no sorry that wasn't meant for you, I'll call you next week!'

I feel a bit put out or am I being oversensitive?

susia Wed 09-Jul-08 20:58:35

is this how people are on dating sites? I don't have much experience???

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:00:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:01:23

i have used them a lot

in fact met my new p online

but that would put me off

i would tell him to jog on if it were me, and i have been in a similar situation

sorry you had to experience that nasty side though, it isnt all like that

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:03:18

it's not that he wouldnt be seeing others, it's more to do with his attitude

to me it smacks of someone who is juggling too many women to keep track

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:03:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

susia Wed 09-Jul-08 21:04:53

Mutt, I wouldn't expect him not to see other people but I would have expected a bit more subtlety. I mean he could have replied 'no it was meant for you but I meant I'll call you tomorrow not see you tomorrow'. I'm sure that's what I would have done but maybe that's because I'm newish to the online dating thing and can't imagine (yet) seeing more than one man at a time (or at least owning up to it!)

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:06:26

imo it shows that he cant remember who is who, by sending it to the wrong person

there are men who think they can say the same stuff to the same women, then sit back and see who replies

they dont care who replies they just want a reply

from my experience, based on what susia is saying, he sounds like that

i am not naive enough to think anyone i wa talking to was not talking to anyone else, but if they cant get it right in whom they send their arrangements to, then i consider that to be someone who is just casting large net to see who they can grab

LadyJogsAlot Wed 09-Jul-08 21:06:31

well at least you know he's honest!

rookiemater Wed 09-Jul-08 21:07:00

I met my lovely DH through internet dating. My advice would be if you have any concerns about the man, then NEXT. This one sounds like a player and as you say, yes no one expects him not to be dating other people, but common courtesy costs nothing.

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:07:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:07:51

but he isnt honest really, as he didnt say to her ( i assume) that he was also chatting and maybe meeting others as well)

he was just rude imo

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:08:33

exactly rookie

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:08:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abouteve Wed 09-Jul-08 21:08:42

This happened to me once. Someone I had arranged to see rang me and asked if I was someone else. I was really shocked but then didn't see the warning signs and went ahead and met him. After seeing each other for a couple of months he then started telling me about the other dates he had been on recently.

Told him where to go.

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:09:22

mutt i disagree about the text thing

esp if he IS juggling many women

Divastrop Wed 09-Jul-08 21:09:54

i think its a bit off to say he wants to meet you when hews arranged to meet somebody else already.that smacks of somebody whos just after one night stands rather than looking for a relationship.

i would give him a miss if i were you(unless you are only after a bit of fun yourselfwink).

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:09:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:10:26

why wouldnt he? unless he was wanting her to think she was the only one

in general he sounds like someone who should be passed by really

OverMyDeadBody Wed 09-Jul-08 21:10:59

You'd rather he lied to you then be honest? How strange.

It's easy enough to accidentally send a text to the wrong person, especially if you have names in your phone for people you've never even met.

If you'd already started a relationship with someone and they did this it would be very off, but as you haven't even met him I don't think he's done anything wrong actually.

Mutt Wed 09-Jul-08 21:11:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OverMyDeadBody Wed 09-Jul-08 21:13:14

Diva that's just not true I'm afraid. If you use dating website it's quite common practice to meet lots of people throuhg it, and get to know a number of people at once until one of them takes your fancy or you decide if anyof them a re suitable for relationshp material.

Whenever I've used dating websites I've met quite a few people around the same time and arranged dates with lots of men in the same week. What's wrong with that? Nothing.

susia Wed 09-Jul-08 21:13:45

I know it would have been dishonest but I would have expected him to try to bluff his way out.

I almost met him once before but it got really complicated to make the arrangement at the time and it didn't happen. The trouble for me is that being a single parent and therefore having to get a babysitter means that I have to meet someone close to where I live as my babysitter will only babysit between 7.30 and 11pm so travelling far is difficult. He lives about 45mins from me and doesn't have these complications. Anyway, have explained this to him on the phone as I have with other dates (who were fine about it) and it sounded like for him it'd be hard work.

OverMyDeadBody Wed 09-Jul-08 21:14:08

Why would anyone make a pact to talk to each other exclusively? How odd. That would just be a waste of time imo.

prettyfly1 Wed 09-Jul-08 21:14:46

its a bit tactless but it is par for the course with online dating. you see a few people and decide who you like.

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