Wanking audibly in bathroom, opinions pls

(54 Posts)
MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 15:57:41

This has been in my head for a long time from a former relationship.

We went to a nice place for a break (for his birthday), I think we had had sex once (not 100% sure), he must have expected or suggested sex again and I didn't go along with it (wasn't in the mood or whatever); and he went to the bathroom and rather audibly wanked. I don't think he closed the door fully (or maybe he did but he was loud enough to be heard).

I thought it was a bit weird and felt a bit uncomfortable.

He was slightly sulky I think when he went off; most of it went over my head because I'd never been with someone who.acted like that before.

The relationship finished for other reasons (I also found him verging on controlling, and quite jealous).

What would you think of a man who acted like that?

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Zarinea Mon 03-May-21 16:00:15

Arsehole.

Glad he's an ex. Poor you, that must have been really unpleasant

MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:00:41

(Should add I know he was the sort of person who masturbated pretty much every day, usually in the shower. In this place there was an issue with the hot water and the shower was the type on/over a claw foot bath, so he wasn't in the shower or bath. I found the idea of him standing wanking into a bath or wash hand basin or wherever equally weird).

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ravenmum Mon 03-May-21 16:03:07

Literally a wanker.

MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:03:47

Zarinea

Arsehole.

Glad he's an ex. Poor you, that must have been really unpleasant

Oh in all seriousness I was just bemused and slightly uncomfortable; I found it almost comical.

It also was one of many things that turned me off him, in retrospect.

I just wondered what the wise women (and occasional man) on here would make of it

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ComtesseDeSpair Mon 03-May-21 16:04:23

Having a wank if your partner has declined sex. Fine, shouldn’t be a problem.

The sulky, manipulative behaviour, absolutely a problem.

And as you discovered, symptomatic of his overall personality, hence why he’s an ex.

Jocasta2018 Mon 03-May-21 16:05:20

How do you audibly wank? Was there lots of groaning & dirty talking or something?
The mind boggles....

Shoxfordian Mon 03-May-21 16:05:44

Glad he’s an ex

gamerchick Mon 03-May-21 16:06:58

Jocasta2018

How do you audibly wank? Was there lots of groaning & dirty talking or something?
The mind boggles....

Slap slap slap?

He was a literal wanker OP and no not normal behaviour. It was a sense of entitlement where he stropped when he didn't get what he wanted.

MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:07:23

Having read on here (wish I'd known about Mumsnet then) I'm wondering if it's indicative of entitlement and maybe even coercion.

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MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:08:34

Jocasta2018

How do you audibly wank? Was there lots of groaning & dirty talking or something?
The mind boggles....

grin

Yeah I think the word used on some male dominated forums is "fap", plus groaning esp at climax.

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MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:09:23

I think he must have left the door open, it was down some steps .. she's ago though so I can't remember clearly.

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Orgasmagorical Mon 03-May-21 16:10:05

What would you think of a man who acted like that?

He's saying to you "Look what you're making me do".

Rubyrecka Mon 03-May-21 16:11:28

Grim!

CervixHaver Mon 03-May-21 16:13:59

Yeah he did it on purpose. To make you feel inadequate, as though you're not meeting his needs

Fabiofatshaft1 Mon 03-May-21 16:15:24

He was thinking about Tom Cruise....

wheresmymojo Mon 03-May-21 16:15:31

I would find that grim and a massive turn off. Not sure I'd ever feel the same about them again TBH.

It's so controlling and manipulative and just grim.

ravenmum Mon 03-May-21 16:16:08

Was this literally a few feet away in a hotel room?
I'd have been tempted to go home. Nothing worse than the feeling of being "trapped" in a room with a total dick.

Topseyt Mon 03-May-21 16:17:19

I'd think he was a twat.

BetterKateThanNever Mon 03-May-21 16:18:33

So sorry you experienced that OP. He definitely sounds the type that would whinge about being 'blue-balled'. What a knobhead. I hope he steps on lego x

Forwardroll Mon 03-May-21 16:22:47

Literally a wanker.

grin

Really off-putting op and deliberately done to make you feel uncomfortable.

MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:24:57

He was a literal wanker OP and no not normal behaviour. It was a sense of entitlement where he stropped when he didn't get what he wanted.

The sulky, manipulative behaviour, absolutely a problem.

Could he wrong but it seemed like he wanted me to hear, I couldn't really figure it out at the time, I was bemused.

Or maybe he didn't and is just a loud wanker when not masked by the shower grin

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AndyYoureAStar Mon 03-May-21 16:25:31

Urgh, how distasteful - not the masturbating, but the making you listen to him masturbating envy (not envy!)

I would think that he definitely wanted you to be aware that he was masturbating, with the implication being that he was having to masturbate because you hadn't adequately performed your function hmm What a prick. (I also agree that it's not surprising to hear about his other, ahem, negative behaviours, these things never exist in a vacuum.) Well done you for getting shot of him!

Fabiofatshaft1 Mon 03-May-21 16:25:45

Not just you, or most women, most men would find this story totally bizarre and weird.

Maybe he did it to demean and ridicule you ( Wanker ).

You say you ‘ think ‘ you had sex !? Maybe he didn’t ‘ finish off ‘ if he had sex with you and resorted to tugging in the bathroom........

But you shouldn’t dwell on it, you just had the misfortune to come across a strange one......

MarshmallowAra Mon 03-May-21 16:27:38

deliberately done to make you feel uncomfortable.

Still bemused by whether it was or not. He seemed to be a guy with a relatively high sex drive who masturbated at least once every day, he said usually in the shower; I don't know if he genuinely felt l - if we weren't going to have sex - compelled to follow his usual routine (!) and masturbate.

I think it may have been a case of slightly sulky 'i don't care whether she hears me" rather than "I'm going to make sure she hears me".

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