We met in a club 18 months ago. I had been really hurt and was very vulnerable at the time and was looking for an escape. He's happy at home in the fact that they are friends rarely have Sex. they sleep in separate beds sit in different rooms. . Live like flat mates but have 2 children not married but get on well. I am divorced with children.
It's mostly via text , face time as live 3 hours apart. Have met up 3 times over the course of it and had sex, amazing sex. I know he isn't leaving his kids or his life for a dream. In reality we don't know how it Would work it probably wouldn't. Nothing good comes of other peoples hurt. I don't want him to leave , I never want her to find out. I have ended it so many times blocked etc the normal, he then even wrote me a letter to get me back. we have a really strong friendship and I always let him back in. I know he's not using me for sex as others might suggest because we hardly have any. But he is definitely using me to fill some sort of gap in his life. The guilt isn't even worth the high so why can't I just let him go before someone finds out and i am responsible for those kids not having their dad there. I'm not waiting around for him I try to date but I have had the worst luck and I guess I fall back on him as he is always their for me. Even though he really isn't. I hate myself for this I am desperate to end it and he is desperate to keep me despite the risks. I have stopped seeing him face to face I told him that won't happen anymore and Is over a year since i have seen him, but I also need to let go of the emotional side. He is like my best friend but I am just being selfish because I am lonely. I hate myself
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Relationships
Affair
cleanfreak25 · 21/01/2021 19:57
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