DP and I have been together for 6 years and have 2 DC, I also have 3 DC from previous marriage.
We Argue a lot. We’ve been to counselling with relate and told that there’s no point in further counselling...
He is bullying, small minded and angry a lot of the time. We argue mainly because of the way he speak to me or because of his moods or because he wants more sex.
Final straw tonight. Watching tv with my DD (15) and MIL who is staying. DP and I have both had a few glasses of wine. DD Brings up JK Rowling/trans debate. I start explaining it to her from The feminist perspective JK Rowling was coming from. DP gets angry and starts saying it’s not just about women and “how is it ok for a woman (Trans man) to use men’s toilets/changing rooms??“.
I start explaining and every time he butts in and shouts over me. I’m at the point where I’m angry And upset and saying ffs let me speak. He then says I’ve had too much to drink and I’m shouting at him. That I should show him the statistics to say women are more at risk of assault from men etc...
MIL is just sat there in silent agreement with him. I go upstairs and pack his stuff. I’ve had enough. He has crossed a line this time. I try to call my dad and he comes into the bedroom accusing me of calling a man, says I can’t make him leave (I own the house, not him) and that I’m The bully.
I then hear him downstairs telling MIL that I hate men and telling all sorts of lies about me. I go down and ask him not to lie and try to explain my side. He says I’m chucking him out with nothing when he’s done so much work on the house and that I owe him.
MIL then starts shouting at me saying how he has his life, his kids and his business here. I tell her I don’t want to be rude to her but that she of all people shouldn’t get involved. She jumped up shouting how dare I and stormed out the house.
MIL is normally as quiet as a mouse and her son can do no wrong in her eyes.
I’m shaking and crying DD went to bed incredibly upset too. Help me get some perspective.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Just had furious row with DP, gaslighting, help.
Bla484726828 · 31/10/2020 00:37
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