What could be wrong with her?
Hi there. Just looking for some opinions please.
My brother split with his ex wife 5 years ago. They have 3 kids together age7, 9 and 12. Their relationship was very turbulent and she eventually left him for another man, falling pregnant with the new man 6 months later. My brother divorced her and she still with the other man.
She has a reputation for being moody, fiery and prone to having aggressive outbursts over trivial things that wouldn’t upset anyone else but she has gotten worse the last few years since. She was always fine with me but everyone else in my family have had problems with her. Her own family say she was a v “troubled” child.
I’m a nurse (not psychiatric) and have a basic understanding of mental health but I’m sure she needs help. However, I’m not sure exactly what could be troubling her.
Some examples of her behaviour :
⁃ extremely jealous of other women paying attention (even working with or talking) to my brother when they were married. Even though my brother has remained single since they split she’s said she will go crazy when he eventually meets someone else.
⁃ She slashed their car tyres to ensure a friend couldn’t borrow their car then cracked up at my brother when he didn’t replace the tyres quickly enough.
⁃ Frequently tells my brother his children aren’t his, that he needs a DNA test, that they hate him etc etc and that her life mission is to turn them against him. He is a great Dad and the kids seem to love him.
⁃ Is always falling out with family and friends.
⁃ Seems to enjoy fighting and arguing with people. Volunteered to come and ‘sort out’ some people I was having bother with.
⁃ Uses her children as pawns to extort money/child visits out my brother all the time. Doesn’t care if she upsets her children by denying them access to their Dad to get what she wants. This can go on for months at a time.
⁃ Goes onto her 12 year old daughters social media and pretends to be her by posting horrible comments about her Dad.
⁃ Is very controlling with her children when they are visiting their Dad - always phoning, checking and even coming and taking them back to hers if certain conditions she’s made (usually v unreasonable) aren’t met.
The list goes on and on.
As far as I know she isn’t violent but my brothers both think she is capable of hurting someone.
She doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her and has never sought help.
I’m worried that my nieces are suffering from emotional abuse and that they will end up damaged.
My brother is currently getting legal help to get regular access to his kids as he hasn’t had them up for months.
What could be the matter with her? And is there anything I can do?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
What could be wrong with her?
Heidi3333 · 03/08/2020 17:35
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