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I can't forget about a guy I met on holiday?

(57 Posts)
gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 13:27:10

I went on holiday a couple of months ago, and met a really great Australian guy. We met up a few times, really got on and there was amazing chemistry. We did have sex, I wouldn't usually but I figured it may be the only chance we would get.
I just figured it was a holiday fling.
He added me on Facebook, and when we got home we chatted loads for a few weeks and he was really keen to Skype too.
Then it petered out and after a few weeks I messaged him..he replied but took ages. Seemed still friendly and chatty but as he took so long I let the conversation end, I didn't want to bug him.
I just can't stop thinking of him, and miss chatting to him so much. He's constantly online on Facebook and it really hurts that he doesn't message me or respond quickly as he used to.
I know it's so silly as he is so far away...but I can't help how I feel 😓.
I've got family near where he lives, I'd been considering visiting and letting him know I'd be around..would just love to see him again. I know I should let it go...but would it seem really weird to him if I told him I was thinking of visiting, and see what he says?
I'm not usually like this, but I just don't want to let it go.

Oysterbabe Sat 04-Nov-17 13:46:18

I think you need to let it go I'm afraid. This is going nowhere and you're just going to get hurt by dragging it out.

RidingWindhorses Sat 04-Nov-17 13:52:04

Yes it would seem weird, he's made it clear he's not interested.

RidingWindhorses Sat 04-Nov-17 13:52:24

Focus your energy on finding someone here.

AliPfefferman Sat 04-Nov-17 13:54:26

Agree with PPs, I’m afraid. The best case scenario would be you see him again and get more attached, and then he does the same thing he’s doing now but you’re even more hurt. Worst (and more likely) case is you’ve flown to Australia only to be blown off.

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 13:58:02

Just seems really sad that he's so far away. I thought he still seemed keen when we went home, as he kept talking to me. I know I'll have to leave it, it's just hard.

GothAndTired Sat 04-Nov-17 14:01:12

I'd be going on a distraction date - a short, sharp shock that reintroduces you to the dating world.

Did me wonders when I was getting over a hopeless case. I had no intention of meeting somebody for anything serious, but being thrust into that environment helped me forget and look forward.

Is there a Speed dating event near you? Or even try OLD.

EverythingEverywhere1234 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:02:56

Ah no!! This is why holiday romances should stay on holiday, it ruins it to bring it home with you. I'd be deleting him, I think, if it is making you sad to the point of knowing when he's on and offline.

SassySausageSupper Sat 04-Nov-17 14:03:56

I’ve been in your exact position. If he’s lost interest already, it won’t work. There’s no point going over there for him if he can’t be bothered replying to you.

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:04:52

I just find it really hard to do stuff like that. I'm quite shy and would be no good at speed dating, I've tried OLD and I get scared to meet them. I know I should try it's just really awkward I find. It just felt really natural and easy with him, and I honestly thought we would at least stay in touch and be friends.

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:08:23

He is at uni at the moment doing exams, I guess he's busy. But it literally looks like he's online on fb all day. I hate that it's making me feel like this. I guess I'm really sentimental it's awful :/

PinkHeart5914 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:14:44

It was just a holiday romance, a bit of fun!

You met someone in another country, you got on and as 2 consenting adults decided to have sex no doubt you both enjoyed it but your home now so that is where it ends.

Please don’t go back to Australia so you can see him again, all you will do is end up feeling this way again.

If you want a partner, friends with benefits or whatever you could go online to see if anyone takes your fancy? Ask a friend to set you up with someone? Find yourself a hobby (life drawing, gym etc) you may meet someone that way?

hendricksyousay Sat 04-Nov-17 14:17:20

Are you in the uk and he is in Australia ? I would presume he thinks that’s the end of it but why not message him and say you would like to see him? You have nothing to lose 🤷‍♀️

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:23:35

I am planning on going away by myself next year. Unsure where but Australia was on my list of possibles anyway..i just thought he might think it's creepy or something if I mention it.
I thought it was the end of it too, but I just seem to keep thinking of him.

Aminuts23 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:35:28

In my experience life is not a romance novel. It was a holiday fling. If you lived a bit closer it might have continued for a while but maybe not. Holiday flings are lovely but they’re fantasy really. Totally different to seeing someone when you’re dealing with the hum drum of real life anyway. I wouldn’t be messaging him any more or making plans to travel to where he is. Be honest with yourself about where you want to go and why. You don’t want to be blown out all that way from home

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:56:28

I know, I'm probably just romanticising it. I probably won't message him again, should probably just delete him if we continue not to speak. Just hurt when he took a day to reply to my message, whereas initially it would be straight away.
I guess I just wanted to get his attention again.
It's silly, I know and unhealthy.

GothAndTired Sat 04-Nov-17 15:02:13

A day isn't long at all - people have lives. You'll have to toughen up a bit to do this dating game I'm afraid. I'm worried that you might scare off potential romances by being a bit too full on.

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 15:04:08

Yeah, I know. I honestly don't let them know how insecure I am, I leave people alone. Just keep it all to myself i guess. It's just unhealthy for me 😑

SassySausageSupper Sat 04-Nov-17 16:43:11

I had a holiday fling. I fell in love with someone from the other side of the world. We were apart for nearly 6 months, we were in contact every day and he never let me feel like he wasn’t interested. I moved to the other side of the world to be with him and we’ve been together coming up 8 years.

I’m not telling you this to get your hopes up as you need to really look at the fact he already doesn’t seem interested and move on. Long distance relationships are really bloody hard work and if you’re both not into it, it’s not going to happen.

Dippingmytoesin Sat 04-Nov-17 16:45:50

I think he probably wanted no strings attached casual sex and assumed you did too considering you don’t live anywhere near eachother.

I’m sorry but it’s time to move on.

TossDaily Sat 04-Nov-17 16:50:39

If I were you I'd avoid casual sex, OP. You don't sound cut out for it.

(Not judging; I'm not either).

sonjadog Sat 04-Nov-17 16:56:53

Don´t do this. I did something similar years ago and it did not work out well and I felt like such an idiot. If he thought you were the perfect woman for him, then he would be in touch. Don´t go to Australia for him. Go if you want to go, if you would go anyway, but don´t fool yourself into planning a trip and pretending that it isn´t to see him when it really is. That´s what I did. Stupid and expensive mistake.

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 17:23:24

No, I'm not cut out for casual sex. It was really nice at the time but I tend to get attached and it's made me feel bad now. He seemed like he wanted to be in touch at first but I guess he lost you think I'll look silly if I try to stay in touch?
I probably won't bother going over there, not if we don't talk anymore. I knew it was a long shot, I'm just the type of person who will give it my all if I think there's a chance things could work.

walnutwhip88 Sat 04-Nov-17 17:27:42

He's probably met someone else/multiple other people and forgotten about you tbh

gaynor83 Sat 04-Nov-17 17:29:17

Really stings to think that though 😓

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