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Do I believe DH or not?

84 replies

MissMustBeAMug · 31/10/2017 09:08

I’m really struggling to make my mind up about this as it is actually about a situation that happened almost two years ago.

History: Dh had a best friend (his cousin) whose house we would go to all the time. His best friend is married to DH’s sisters childhood best friend (Christ did that make sense?)

Dh was a grade A prick back when he was drinking heavily, no getting around that. I ended up going into hospital with severe stomach pains, which turned out to be an infected gallbladder and stones, and had to stay in overnight on antibiotics.

We had dd 1 at the time. Instead of looking after her (she was distraught as we’d bever been apart before this and she’s had autism) he decided to dump her on my mum and go around his mates house drinking.

I called my mum up and found out about this, so called him and asked what on earth he was doing. He could go out anytime he wanted, why choose this night when dad needed him to be there?

Anyway he reassured me it was just for a drink or two and he would be back to dad soon.

Fast forward to the morning: no sign of dh. He is very apologetic when someone finally gets hold of him in the late morning.

Something strange happened after this too, dh’s best friend wouldn’t talk to him or me anymore, at all. We didn’t even go to any of the same family parties anymore.

I’ve been asking dh, for all this time, what happened? He’s always maintained his has no idea but started mentioning that he thinks it is because cousins wife has had a crush on him since they were teenagers.

I’ve always thought this is odd as hell

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MissMustBeAMug · 31/10/2017 09:19

Ahh premature post...sorry.

Anyway, ddstarted school this September. And cousins wife also drops/picks up her youngest from this school. I’d put it all out of my mind because there was nothing I could do about it. I attempted to wave hi once but she completely blanked me. She was stood giggling with her friends once and pointed at me (I think, maybe it had nothing to do with me)

So I’ve been asking dh again. Up until two nights ago he maintained he really had no idea.

But then his cousin decided he wanted to be friends. He sent sent do some messages saying basically ‘Let’s let bygones be bygones, oh but I want reassurances you don’t want to sleep with my wife. Because that night you were drunk and basically tried to bed her...well I don’t know if you remember because I basically had to... (he didn’t put what he had to do)’

(Not intentional snooping - dh had signed into fb messenger on my phone, I don’t use it much so didn’t realise, and I got a notification showing me this message and though wtf?)

Dh says this isn’t true. That actually he went to the bathroom and heard cousins wife making retching sounds in the bedroom. He says he went over to check on her and she told him she’d always loved him. While he was drunkenly explaining to her why she had to let it go, his cousin came upstairs and got the wrong end of the stick. Dh maintains that he didn’t tell me the truth because he wanted to protect his cousin from the knowledge that his wife loved dh instead.

The reason dh says he lied to me, I’m not buying it. If he had told me straight away I might have but...I don’t feel they would have fallen out so spectacularly over a two second conversation in a bedroom.

What do you think?

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