I'm not the kind of person who posts but I can't quite find a thread that may help me.
For a few months my DH appeared to be distant he had always been very affectionate towards me. When asked he said everything was fine. After a while I decided to try and rekindle deep intimacy. He still appeared distant. He had new work colleagues one young girl who works for him and one make more his age. He became obsessed with every message sent within their group laughing out loud to every innapropriate message. I said nothing as I trusted him and hoped he would realise that it was not appropriate with the young girl. He seemed to reach this point and said he'd noticed one of the group restrained from posting and asked me my thoughts. So I calmly told him I thought it was unprofessional and not appropriate. He partially agreed. I thought that was the end. But as he grew distant and stopped sharing these posts I ended looking at his phone. I thought I'd find the group chat still going, but instead I found a private thread with this girl 15 years younger. It's hard to explain there was no emotional messages, though once he called her honey, but memes about innuendos. Their conversation was more about food and drink and what they did at the weekend. But he'd filmed her dancing around stupidly in the office, selfies together, her wrapped up in tissue. Anyway, I confronted him and he admitted it was inappropriate but then said he'd not felt we'd been close for 2 years. Worse in last year. To cut a long story short I'm all over the place. He said there's no emotion with this girl but he Like's her personality and it's the first time in years he's worked with a group of people he can have a laugh with. He only hired her 6 months ago. He says he loves me, that he needs intimacy otherwise the little things don't matter as much. I apologised and said I didn't know and that he should have been brave enough to tell me. I'm trying to bring that closeness back as he said that's all he wants. But I feel like his love us still closed off from me, like he's trying but that deep affection is not there. Can anyone help sort my emotions and give me hope it will be ok? I feel determined then lost, angry then hurt, fight then flight, one minute I want to leave then all I want is for us to get past this.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Can we survive his emotional affair
Vivienne547 · 10/10/2017 10:59
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.