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He's gone

(62 Posts)
YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:22:36

Just feel really low.

My boyfriend split up with me this morning. Feel like my heart has split into a million pieces.

I trusted him. Trusted in everything he promised. I'm a complete lone parent as well and I let myself trust him which was hard

But he's left anyway. All too difficult.

This will feel easier right? I mean I will do my day to day life but the pain goes away right?

Fuck. I really loved him.

peppatax Mon 13-Mar-17 18:25:16

It's sucks Missy but it does...

What are your plans for tonight?

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:26:42

Make a packed lunch. Do the washing. Sit.

peppatax Mon 13-Mar-17 18:35:30

Nah. Bad plans smile

What else can you do? Chat to friends? Make fun plans?

Something to take your mind off him - organising something? Kitchen cupboards? Clothes?

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:56:01

Might go on a cleaning spree

FetchezLaVache Mon 13-Mar-17 18:58:43

Sorry to hear about this, Missy. Had you been together long?

user1487519954 Mon 13-Mar-17 18:59:15

It will feel shit for a while but just focus on getting through each day one by one and the pain will gradually go away and in a few years you won't even remember his name.
For now, try to do something that makes you happy but doesn't remind you of him. - eg. get a friend over and watch a film (you might feel better for not being alone).

SooticaTheWitchesCat Mon 13-Mar-17 19:02:22

It's a horrible feeling but it will get easier with time. Do you have friends or family who could be with you this evening? It often helps to have someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on.

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 19:15:26

Yeah work was better but now I'm on my own after bedtime with my thoughts. I made of strong stuff but it hurts.

Lovemusic33 Mon 13-Mar-17 19:38:15

It gets easier, just give yourself time, take it a day at a time, name happy plans and listen to happy music.

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 19:53:01

It's hard letting go of the plans isn't it.

Anyway.

I have my son and I have my cat.

Time to focus on better things I suppose.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Mon 13-Mar-17 19:58:08

This is the worst bit - the shock. It will slowly improve, don't make the same mistake as me and hit the booze because that only delays the grief and makes you feel even more shit. He's only one male human on the planet and he's done you a favour by creating a vacancy for someone better.

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:15:58

Yes the shock. It's a fucking killer. One day together and now finished.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Mon 13-Mar-17 20:23:17

Is DS solely yours? As in he's not the dad? If so, have a look at the no contact boards on Google - cos I'll bet any money on him phoning you up for a 'chat' when he's feeling a bit lonely in the coming days/weeks.

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:27:27

Yes DS is just mine.

I've gone no contact with him because I have to and I'm quite stubborn.

He has broken up with me just as we were about to take the big leap together. So I understand. He's backed out before its too late because he doesn't want that life.

But blooming hell it hurts

Will check out those boards thanks

Nomoreworkathome Mon 13-Mar-17 20:29:01

This is truly the fucking hardest bit BUT..... I promise you, you WILL recover and you WILL be ok flowers

Nomoreworkathome Mon 13-Mar-17 20:32:19

Going NC will help. It's hard. I never thought I would recover. I also kept a journal and wrote down all my feelings day to day. In the early days I wrote loads but as the days passed I wrote less and less. I could see myself getting better.

I found it quite recently and was shocked at how awful I was feeling and how low I was. You will be ok.

flibbertigibbety Mon 13-Mar-17 20:35:46

I second the journal. Write it all down, no matter how nonsensical or repetitive, just get it out of your head and onto paper. Don't re-read until you are over it.
I'm so sorry, it's so totally shit. Hug the cat and DS tightly.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess Mon 13-Mar-17 20:42:03

Yes yes to the journal. I recently read mine from the early days and weeks - bloody hell, I had to burn it!

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:56:44

Journal is a good idea. Write it down and leave it. I know deep down that it's done and dead and therefore I'm worth more.

Just feel like a fool.

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 20:57:07

Thank God for mumsnet

Cheers guys

flibbertigibbety Mon 13-Mar-17 21:01:21

Keep writing that down too! You are worth more and that deserves to be written! Saying good things about yourself is tough sometimes, especially when you feel like shit, but it needs to be done.

BonnyScotland Mon 13-Mar-17 21:04:55

on a personal level.... I found sleeping difficult almost impossible .. as my mind was racing 24/7.. I found listening to '8hr Rainfall' on my ipad helped me relax.. there are many wonderful calming sounds that will maybe appeal to you.. have a search online... YouTube x
stay strong and be kind to yourself x

YellowPansy1234 Mon 13-Mar-17 21:06:01

And thanks for responding. Means I won't contact him. Not that I would. I have way too much pride. Bowed out in a dignified way. If you don't have that, then what.

flibbertigibbety Mon 13-Mar-17 21:06:38

Listening to something is a good shout. I had the Harry Potter audiobooks on CONSTANTLY for about 2 weeks. Makes you feel less alone and panicky in the middle of the night.

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