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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

He's gone

61 replies

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 18:22

Just feel really low.

My boyfriend split up with me this morning. Feel like my heart has split into a million pieces.

I trusted him. Trusted in everything he promised. I'm a complete lone parent as well and I let myself trust him which was hard

But he's left anyway. All too difficult.

This will feel easier right? I mean I will do my day to day life but the pain goes away right?

Fuck. I really loved him.

OP posts:

Report

peppatax · 13/03/2017 18:25

It's sucks Missy but it does...

What are your plans for tonight?

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 18:26

Make a packed lunch. Do the washing. Sit.

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peppatax · 13/03/2017 18:35

Nah. Bad plans

What else can you do? Chat to friends? Make fun plans?

Something to take your mind off him - organising something? Kitchen cupboards? Clothes?

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 18:56

Might go on a cleaning spree

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FetchezLaVache · 13/03/2017 18:58

Sorry to hear about this, Missy. Had you been together long?

user1487519954 · 13/03/2017 18:59

It will feel shit for a while but just focus on getting through each day one by one and the pain will gradually go away and in a few years you won't even remember his name.
For now, try to do something that makes you happy but doesn't remind you of him. - eg. get a friend over and watch a film (you might feel better for not being alone).

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 13/03/2017 19:02

It's a horrible feeling but it will get easier with time. Do you have friends or family who could be with you this evening? It often helps to have someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on.

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 19:15

Yeah work was better but now I'm on my own after bedtime with my thoughts. I made of strong stuff but it hurts.

OP posts:

Lovemusic33 · 13/03/2017 19:38

It gets easier, just give yourself time, take it a day at a time, name happy plans and listen to happy music.

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 19:53

It's hard letting go of the plans isn't it.

Anyway.

I have my son and I have my cat.

Time to focus on better things I suppose.

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ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 13/03/2017 19:58

This is the worst bit - the shock. It will slowly improve, don't make the same mistake as me and hit the booze because that only delays the grief and makes you feel even more shit. He's only one male human on the planet and he's done you a favour by creating a vacancy for someone better.

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 20:15

Yes the shock. It's a fucking killer. One day together and now finished.

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ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 13/03/2017 20:23

Is DS solely yours? As in he's not the dad? If so, have a look at the no contact boards on Google - cos I'll bet any money on him phoning you up for a 'chat' when he's feeling a bit lonely in the coming days/weeks.

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 20:27

Yes DS is just mine.

I've gone no contact with him because I have to and I'm quite stubborn.

He has broken up with me just as we were about to take the big leap together. So I understand. He's backed out before its too late because he doesn't want that life.

But blooming hell it hurts

Will check out those boards thanks

OP posts:

Nomoreworkathome · 13/03/2017 20:29

This is truly the fucking hardest bit BUT..... I promise you, you WILL recover and you WILL be ok

Nomoreworkathome · 13/03/2017 20:32

Going NC will help. It's hard. I never thought I would recover. I also kept a journal and wrote down all my feelings day to day. In the early days I wrote loads but as the days passed I wrote less and less. I could see myself getting better.

I found it quite recently and was shocked at how awful I was feeling and how low I was. You will be ok.

flibbertigibbety · 13/03/2017 20:35

I second the journal. Write it all down, no matter how nonsensical or repetitive, just get it out of your head and onto paper. Don't re-read until you are over it.
I'm so sorry, it's so totally shit. Hug the cat and DS tightly.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 13/03/2017 20:42

Yes yes to the journal. I recently read mine from the early days and weeks - bloody hell, I had to burn it!

YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 20:56

Journal is a good idea. Write it down and leave it. I know deep down that it's done and dead and therefore I'm worth more.

Just feel like a fool.

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YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 20:57

Thank God for mumsnet

Cheers guys

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flibbertigibbety · 13/03/2017 21:01

Keep writing that down too! You are worth more and that deserves to be written! Saying good things about yourself is tough sometimes, especially when you feel like shit, but it needs to be done.

BonnyScotland · 13/03/2017 21:04

on a personal level.... I found sleeping difficult almost impossible .. as my mind was racing 24/7.. I found listening to '8hr Rainfall' on my ipad helped me relax.. there are many wonderful calming sounds that will maybe appeal to you.. have a search online... YouTube x
stay strong and be kind to yourself x

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YellowPansy1234 · 13/03/2017 21:06

And thanks for responding. Means I won't contact him. Not that I would. I have way too much pride. Bowed out in a dignified way. If you don't have that, then what.

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flibbertigibbety · 13/03/2017 21:06

Listening to something is a good shout. I had the Harry Potter audiobooks on CONSTANTLY for about 2 weeks. Makes you feel less alone and panicky in the middle of the night.

ItShouldHaveBeenJingleJess · 13/03/2017 21:07

Are you ready to delete his number, do you think?

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