I met a man on a dating site about 2.5 years ago. At first he wasn't very upfront about his intentions but at that time I wasn't really interested in a relationship myself. He started being quite rude though and saying he would only ever be interested in me for sex. I felt his approach was arrogant. He also told me a number of times that he doesn't like children and I have three so I felt there was little point in carrying on seeing him. I distanced myself from him. I had concerns that he may be a narcissist (captivatingly charming on first date)
Since then, however he has been trying to get back into my good books continually. Trying to arrange to meet up etc. We initially had similar interests and good conversations. I told him his behaviour initially had put me off. I am not sure if I could even like him again the way I did. I also told him I want a real relationship now and I do not want anything casual. He told me he has changed his mind, he does think he may be able to have a future with me. Apparently he also does like children
I think it seems likely he's just hoping to wear me down because what he wants is for me to be like I was at that one point (having come out of a stressful relationship) 2 and a half years ago. During a conversation he seemed to be hinting that he wanted to try to have a relationship with me but did not seem able to actually say the words. For example, 'yes I want to see if we can try something ser...'
Given that he's 36 years old and behaves like this i am suspicious of his intentions. He also said 'but nobody can be 100% certain that a relationship would work out' that surely isn't the point.
Once I've been turned off someone it's rare for me to go back and change my feelings really. My instinct is that he intends to try to manipulate me into the situation he felt he was in control of before (i.e. Try to just use me essentially). And he was put out that I abruptly started dating someone else. It did not turn out the way he expected.
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Relationships
Would you have the same instinct as me about this?
lottieandmia · 19/01/2017 02:51
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