Ex screamed at me like a banshee!

[MidnightBreeze1]

I'm currently 20 weeks pregnant & myself & father of the baby have split (ask me why and il have to divert you to him! I've no idea!!)

I've cried most part of today & left work early because I couldn't keep it together enough!

So finally giving in, I went to his house, sat his mum & sister down & told them that no matter what happens between me & him that I'd still like them to be a part of the baby's life!

So to try and show I can be amicable I decided to go & speak to the ex to tell him the same that I'd like him to be a part of his life also.......well! Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next!

He started shouting at me that he didn't want to be with me :/ I tried to explain that that wasn't what I was there for, I was there to try to be amicable for our baby's sake, again he screamed at me because he doesn't want to be with me....by this point im confused and wondering if he's on drugs & then came the next part!

Out of nowhere, he starts screaming like a banshee.....screaming for his mum and saying ow in between (is guessing to insulate I'm hitting him?)

Then gets his phone out to call the police, so I stop him and all of a sudden he grabs me and throws me against the door & tells me to move! Then again, starts screaming for help!

Oh! And the funniest part?? He got his phone out, filmed me whilst I was probably 3 arms length away from him screaming and saying I was hitting him!! All whilst filming which proved I wasn't!

Eventually his mum and sister came up, he left, all the while I had a panic attack as I couldn't quite understand what had just happened!

I actually think I need therapy!!

[HeavenlyEyes]

no you need Women's Aid and the police. He assaulted you while pregnant. I also think you need to see a doctor tonight to make sure you and the baby are ok. This is horrific. You poor thing.

[Bogeyface]

He doesnt want to be the bastard that dumped his pregnant partner, so he has invented a story that you are abusive and he left to protect himself.

I suggest that you contact the police regarding him grabbing and throwing you, which is assualt, and tell them all about his behaviour.

[Soubriquet]

Sounds like he has had a mental breakdown..though it certainly doesn't excuse him physically assaulting you

I agree with the police and making sure that baby is ok

[MidnightBreeze1]

He didn't touch my stomach thank god! As I kept my hands protecting my baby just in case as once he went mental obviously I was absolutely terrified!
I actually think if he played that recording back he'd probably realise just how scared I was!

I'm seeing my midwife in a few weeks so will be advising on everything that's happened so it's on my notes and they are aware.

The only reason I'm holding off on police involvement is because I'm petrified that he will make up a whole different story and make me out to be the bad guy! After tonight, he's more than proved he's lost it!

I now won't go near him again for fear of mine and my baby's safety! X

[Simonneilsbeard]

Good Christ this sounds utterly insane. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I would go to police as well..and stay well away from lunatic.

[Simonneilsbeard]

Cross post..apologies. Obviously you're doing the right thing by staying away. He sounds completely unpredictable.
What was his mothers reaction while he was pretending you were attacking him?

[Soubriquet]

Yes what did his mother say? And how old are you both?

Youngish? Middle aged?

[CalleighDoodle]

But once the baby is born things will change. You need to inform the police.

[CalleighDoodle]

Im guessing he is 19.

[Soubriquet]

How did you get that Calleigh? Was it just a guess?

[Sweets101]

You need to stay away from him. For your own sake, and also because he has shown/told you that is what he wants.

[MidnightBreeze1]

By the way he acts you'd actually believe he was a teen however to shock you all he's actually 29! 30 next month! If you'd met him you'd think he was the most immature man you'd ever met! He mimics you when you argue with him!

I'm 26, we both live at home....me because my marriage broke down and I couldn't afford my own place & him because he's selfish and won't spend his money if he doesn't have to, he doesn't even pay his mum any rent at all!

His mum isn't confrontational so calmly asked him to calm down and leave, however his sister shouted at him to stop and also told him to leave all the while he was screaming at them too!

[Soubriquet]

So they witnessed HIM being abusive to you.

Good. That helps you

[MidnightBreeze1]

It would if they were strong enough to stand up to him!
Unfortunately he's an extremely volatile person, apparently he's threatened to hit his sister....threatened to hit his ex and actually slapped me (all because we were playing once and I caught his eye, out of no where his hand connected with my cheek!) I cried and he shouted at me to leave! Oh yes he's a perfect gent! Any takers??

[PreemptiveSalvageEngineer]

Report it to the police. I hear you when you say he's just going to escalate it. but he is anyway. get your side if the story in there. and his camera phone - you say his video will exonerate you? Good!

This is just going to get worse if you don't tackle it. He's already trying to write a false narrative and he's not going to stop on his own.

And absolutely do not put him in the birth certificate. Doubt you'd be able to anyway if he gets his way, but make it tour choice as well.

[Soubriquet]

Report him to the police!!!

He is dangerous.

I take back the mental breakdown comment. He is obviously an abusive dangerous man and you do not need that in your or your child's life

[MidnightBreeze1]

He's somewhat known to the police as a couple of months ago he decided to contact my ex whom I was not in contact with!

It resulted in abusive messages & actually quite disgusting and sick messages, I don't think he really realised just how much damage he was going to do by contacting them!

My mum reckons I should write everything down that's happened along the way! X

[Soubriquet]

Yes, write everything..and actually do something now and pick up the damn phone!

[PreemptiveSalvageEngineer]

^^ that damned phone ain't going to pick itself up.

[PreemptiveSalvageEngineer]

And I hope you've kept those messages.

[HeavenlyEyes]

you need to tell the police now - not the midwife in a few weeks.

Then I suggest the Freedom Programme for you and please say you will call Women's Aid too. He contacted your ex and sent sick messages yet you stayed with him?Why did you stay - is your self esteem so destroyed that you put up with this monster. Please get some counselling for yourself. And I must repeat you need to see a doctor now not in a few weeks.

[Bogeyface]

The thing is, if you contact the police and he is bailed then the bail conditions will include not contacting you or coming near you, it gives you a level of protection that you currently do not have.

He behaves like this because he thinks he can get away with it. You need to sort this now, because once the baby arrives, he will have so much more leverage over you. But if he has a recorded history of abuse and violence you will have a much stronger case against him having any kind of unsupervised access with the baby.

It isnt just about you anymore, you owe it to your child to protect it from this man.

[MidnightBreeze1]

I'm a very strong willed person, I don't usually take any crap & won't be told otherwise.....however he slowly chipped away at me & made me paranoid, when we'd argue he'd say it only happened because of me or say I over reacted. He'd always use this annoying patronising tone with me & tell me to "pipe down".

Confidence & self esteem....he absolutely ruined me as a person in 8 short months he managed to put me into a shell where I don't even feel like me anymore! I have ever felt vulnerable before until I met him & he started chipping away at me!

Let's say the girl who said she was too strong for a man like that actually has to eat her own words & accept she was one! Who was mentally, verbally & physically abused by the man she loved. Yes of course I fought back at times! There were times I thought I was going insane & having a breakdown & id scream at him to leave because I physically couldn't cope with the stress anymore.

Let's just say what he did tonight was a positive in disguise.....I will never go near him again!

[LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett]

But what about when he comes near you for access to your baby? Which he will do, just to fuck with your head.

Call the police and get this logged. Please.

[Soubriquet]

What about when he demands access to your baby and even takes you to court over it

Court has no concerns and grant it..because you refuse to report him