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He's a much older married man and has a strong attraction towards me, what do i do im also married?

(61 Posts)
searchingforanswers006 Fri 08-Jul-16 19:23:02

It all started about a month or two ago when I met him for the first time.. His father, my husband's best friend, fell very ill and eventually died.
In the process I helped taking care of his father during end of life care.
At first we really wouldn't talk then as time went by, he started to open up about everything.. His emotion all over the place because of seeing his father dying.. He's around 50 I'm 31.. He says I remind him of his mother (she passed a few years back.) and he told a mutual friend I have a lot in common w his wife actually.. She's really nice btw. It wouldn't be nothing if it wasn't that everytime we say goodbye he has to hug me and almost he doesn't want let go... He would seat next to me, stare at me and give me flirty looks.. Even my husband, that he can be naive at times, he's referred to how weird how we've "connected" on a different level.. I love my husband deeply and wont cheat on him but I find myself thinking bout this guy non stop.. I almost feel motherly towards him like I wanna take care of him, is that too weird??? ( and now he wants to move from 7 hours away to his dad's house 6 minutes away ) HELP!!

AuntieStella Fri 08-Jul-16 19:26:09

Step back.

You are crossing all sorts of boundaries with a newly bereaved man.

Let his wife and friends comfort him.

AyeAmarok Fri 08-Jul-16 19:26:52


You stop all communication with him is what you do.

LowlLowl Fri 08-Jul-16 19:29:32

Walk away. It can only end badly if you don't. Sorry, I know it's hard but it sounds like it could get very messy.

MagnifiMad Fri 08-Jul-16 19:30:47

Yep, step back to the distance you were at before the illness and if you can't do that, step even further back. Not going to end well if you do not.

ThatAnneGirl Fri 08-Jul-16 19:35:07

Are you asking if you should fuck a man who has told you that you remind him of his mother? If so, I'm going with 'no'.

Pearlman Fri 08-Jul-16 19:37:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Offred Fri 08-Jul-16 19:48:17

I think you are possibly reading into the hugs. Why is that?

You've clearly got a crush, I don't think it is fair off the basis of what you've said about his behaviour, to say this guy is 'the issue', it seems to be you.

You seem to be hankering after him and you need to work out why this is.

loobyloo1234 Fri 08-Jul-16 19:57:31

His father was your husband's best friend and he is now 50?

This ... I'm confused confused

ImperialBlether Fri 08-Jul-16 19:58:44

You don't do anything. He's the one with the attraction. Frankly, he sounds a complete weirdo.

FinderofNeedles Fri 08-Jul-16 19:58:54

What do you do? Nothing. Be civil and keep your distance - physically and emotionally.

smilingeyes11 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:06:42

have a word with yourself and stop trying to convince yourself this is anything but a grubby prelude to an affair. What should you do and help! Attention seeking much? Do you want us to give you permission to shag a married man who you have connected with on a deeper level - honestly, grow up.

ShebaShimmyShake Fri 08-Jul-16 20:09:26

Obviously, you should go straight round to his house wearing a negligee, high heels and an open crotch thong, and tell him you're there for some of that sugar and you're especially turned on by the fact you remind him of his mum.

BikeRunSki Fri 08-Jul-16 20:11:05

Do nothing but walk away!!!

CrazyDuchess Fri 08-Jul-16 20:14:36

Leave him alone to grieve

springydaffs Fri 08-Jul-16 20:16:25

Lovely, don't be foolish.

fastdaytears Fri 08-Jul-16 20:18:55

Your husband's (late) best friend has a 50 year old son? I think I've had too much wine

But nothing good can come of this. You know that.

searchingforanswers006 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:19:44

I'm not saying ill do anything in fact distance sounds like a great plan.. This is all too new for me been married about 10 years now and this has never happened to me before.. My husband is 30 and this guys dad was 91 so yeah his son (the guy in question) is 50... And btw "turned on by the fact that I remind him of his mother" eeeeewww too far...
But thanks to the rest that were a bit more understanding!

MadHattersWineParty Fri 08-Jul-16 20:21:54

What, so who was the best friend? The 91 year old? Or the fifty year old you'd never met in ten years of being married to your husband, who is 30?confused

loobyloo1234 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:22:36

His father, my husband's best friend

Your husband's best friend was 91? I'm so confused confused or maybe its the [wine}

Anyway, no good can come of this OP. Put him out of your mind and distance yourself

searchingforanswers006 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:24:06

My husband : 30
Me: 31
My husband's best friend: 91
My husband's best friend: 50

MadHattersWineParty Fri 08-Jul-16 20:24:07

I haven't had my wine yet (DAMN YOU TFL RAIL) but I'm bloody confused.

Jeanniejampots80 Fri 08-Jul-16 20:29:36

Nope still confused. Mainly how a 30 year old two best friends are 90 and 50....also obv you don't walk away you run away

fastdaytears Fri 08-Jul-16 20:32:36

eeeeewww too far...

Really? The poster who pointed out that this was weird has gone too far and not your love interest for saying it?

How long has your 30 yo husband been BFFs with a 91 year old man?

MorrisZapp Fri 08-Jul-16 20:35:24

A fifty year old man says a thirty year old reminds him of his mother?

Have you been buying your shoes from Hotter or something?

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