I am an awful, messed up person. I keep making the same stupid decisions again and again. I have cheated on DH while drunk and he's forgiven me. I have run up tens of thousands in credit card debts several times. I only manage to clean the house once a week and that's because MIL comes over and helps me. I have days when I can't even get out of bed or get dressed. DH had to take today off work because I was suicidal.
I just can't go on like this. I'm toxic. DH is so amazing and I don't deserve him at all, if he posted on here about me you'd all tell him to leave me. We have fantastic kids who are being damaged by me, social services are a constant presence and they've been referred to a young carers group. None of them deserve this and I'm not sure how much longer they will put up with me.
I'm not sure what I'm hoping for from this post, I just needed to say it somewhere. I'm a hateful person.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm ruining everybody's life, especially DH.
UselessBitch · 01/07/2016 15:47
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