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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DH just grabbed his phone off me..

58 replies

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:34

So, the football is on and my phone is out of battery. iPad gone missing so I said to DH that I would use his phone to browse. We know each others passcodes, leave phones lying around etc. However, he jumped up, all panicked and grabbed the phone off me, saying he needed to send an email. (??) I was like wtf?

Then he backtracked and said he was getting me a present he didn't want me see. Rubbish, it's not my birthday. I went mad and stormed upstairs saying he needed to come up with something better than that. He followed me and then said he was planning to take me away in September. I just don't believe him. I could just tell he was lying. I am now sulking in the bedroom. I am assuming porn or another woman? No history of suspicious behaviour. Doesn't stay out late.

I don't know how to find out why he was so panicked and I don't just want to sweep this under the carpet. What do I do?

OP posts:

Report

Sonia0002 · 14/08/2015 21:36

Try and catch him out, get his phone while he's sleeping?

cozietoesie · 14/08/2015 21:38

It's not impossible if this is a one off and there's no reason to doubt it. How could you 'tell he was lying' this time?

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:39

To be honest, I do look at it quite a bit (I know massive invasion of privacy but I feel like I need that reassurance) never seen anything dodgy on there and there definitely won't be now. Have seen poem sites before. However I'd just been out for a run for an hour and he was looking after the kids so I am not sure it was porn this time.

OP posts:

WorzelsCornyBrows · 14/08/2015 21:40

If he's planning to take you away and there's evidence on his phone, he can show you now can't he, the cats out of the bag. If he can't show you anything, you know there's something else. If there's something to hide he'll have deleted it by now.

iwantgin · 14/08/2015 21:40

Well in our household our phones and laptops are private.

I only use DH's phone if we are in the car together and he wants me to use the satnav on it.

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:43

He was just so panicked and blurting out anything? He has now said he was looking for underwear for me and didn't want me to think he was looking at women's underwear.... I asked him to prove it and he said he has deleted it.

OP posts:

category1 · 14/08/2015 21:48

Odd and suspicious overreaction, but it doesn't sound like you trust him much anyway. Is there any reason for you feeling you need the reassurance of checking his phone? Has he 'got form' for cheating?

paulapompom · 14/08/2015 21:48

If he's deleted it then you wouldn't have seen it anyway. It sounds odd. Can you have a really frank conversation with him and just tell him this looks bad and can he just explain if it was porn /whatever as you are now thinking the worst? Is he usually a good bloke? X

nottheOP · 14/08/2015 21:49

He sounds like a terrible liar, I'd be fairly confident that you don't have much to worry about.

TravellingToad · 14/08/2015 21:50

bloody hell he really is blurting out anything? Sorry but it STINKS of texts to another women.

loveyoutothemoon · 14/08/2015 21:51

Email....holiday....underwear...he needs to tell you the truth!

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:52

No form for cheating. Been together 10 years. Has got form for porn but surely not at 6.30pm?!
No real trust issues, just he has been known to tell the odd lie. Nothing to do with other women just about drinks after work when he says he is still at work, that sort of thing..

OP posts:

00100001 · 14/08/2015 21:54

Ooo err three different reasons? First itbwas a present, then a holiday, now underwear???

Just ask him to tell the truth, whatever it may be. See what he says.

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:54

He does leave his phone lying around though. I assume if he was texting another woman he would be more possessive of it in case a text came through?

OP posts:

category1 · 14/08/2015 21:55

Probably porn then.

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:55

He is now saying the underwear is the truth. And also the break. Won't expand on that despite me saying I don't believe him

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Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:56

Sigh. I think porn too. He won't admit it though.

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loveyoutothemoon · 14/08/2015 21:57

Sorry but I would be following him after work, he sounds dodgy.

smink · 14/08/2015 21:58

Maybe he's been on MN.

Delatron · 14/08/2015 21:59

I honestly don't think he goes anywhere after work. He comes home and when he does go out he is always back at a reasonable time. No other suspicious behaviour.

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00100001 · 14/08/2015 22:00

When is he taking you on holiday? You could get a nice trip out of this and some fancy pants!!!!

loveyoutothemoon · 14/08/2015 22:00

Thought you said he'd lied about after work drinks?

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tellmeofthetime · 14/08/2015 22:01

So your new underwear is on its way and you've a lovely holiday to look forward to. Grand.
Unless of course none of it happens because ' you've spoilt it now so I've cancelled it'

Delatron · 14/08/2015 22:03

He says September. I not sure how that is going to happen am we're pretty busy.
The drinks thing was a while ago and it was more 'I'll be finishing work in an hour' then turned out he had gone out for a drink but he was still back at a reasonable time.

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goddessofsmallthings · 14/08/2015 22:03

Was the underwear he was thinking of buying for you being modelled by other women, or was he looking to buy himself new panties and a bra?

Either way, enjoy your vacation in September as you get to choose the destination now he's lied through his teeth let the cat out of the bag. The Greek islands are blissful after the UK's school holidays have ended.

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