Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How much is too much?

(52 Posts)
Fairysprinkles Thu 02-Jul-15 21:20:36

DP has got in a temper manhandled DD into her cot, gone downstairs and really lost it. He threw her toys around the room till some of them broke and broke a door too. It's not the first time he's lost his temper.

However it isn't always like this and I've kind of got used to intervening and sorting things out before he gets too cross. Things are lovely as long as I keep house, get up with DD in the night etc. she's only young and everyone says it's hard at the beginning. My question is should I stay because anything worth having is hard work or should I cut my losses and leave.

VixxFace Thu 02-Jul-15 21:22:17


You're going to let him treat your baby like that? ???

QuiteLikely5 Thu 02-Jul-15 21:22:48

His response is totally disproportionate to an annoying child.

He needs help from the GP.

gamerchick Thu 02-Jul-15 21:27:20

So the next time he loses his temper, manhandles her into her cot breaking her arm in the process you'll let it slide as well and need to ask?

CluckingBelle Thu 02-Jul-15 21:28:17

This is too much. You shouldn't have to do all the work for him to behave like a decent human being. Please get away from this man.

wallaby73 Thu 02-Jul-15 21:28:31

What does "manhandled" look like?

None ofthis is acceptable.....yes babies are hard work, but "working for things in life" does not involve this......

justjodie92 Thu 02-Jul-15 21:31:01

No-one should be manhandled,least of all a young child. You need to keep your child safe, surely that's away from this man

silverglitterpisser Thu 02-Jul-15 21:32:23

U what? U have let this piece of shit manhandle ur baby dd n done nothing? Well when he really harms her n goes to prison u can go too for failing to protect her.

Ffs, LTB n care for ur poor innocent child!!!!!

overmydeadbody Thu 02-Jul-15 21:33:11

You have to leave.

Manhandling a baby is not acceptable.

Fairysprinkles Thu 02-Jul-15 21:33:59

It's not that he hurt her I could just tell he was acting out of temper, rather than putting her in her cot as part of sleep training.

AnyFucker Thu 02-Jul-15 21:35:10

your partner is abusing your child

are you going to keep standing by ?

Anniegetyourgun Thu 02-Jul-15 21:39:16

Doesn't sound like somebody who should be around small children at all. How old is DD? Not that it matters. No child should be subjected to such treatment.

"Hard in the beginning" (which is often true) is about parents grumbling at each other about who is the tiredest, whose turn it is to get up in the night etc; not about one parent trying (and on this occasion failing) to stop the other hurling the baby into its cot and smashing its toys. This is downright dangerous behaviour and certainly not suitable to bring up a child in.

Justmuddlingalong Thu 02-Jul-15 21:39:22

<too much------------------------------------------------------------manhandling a baby--------failing to protect your DD>

Joysmum Thu 02-Jul-15 21:39:38

Any physical response to temper should not be on your daughter nor throwing stuff about with her about.

I'm sorry but if he can't channel his frustrations in other ways (such as exercise) then you need to take action to protect your daughter from physical and psychological harm. This is not ok sad

BrookeDavies Thu 02-Jul-15 21:54:12

I know when you're in the fog it's really hard to see where the line is. But think about what will happen in the future. Kids get more annoying as they get older. They also have extreme emotions and it's the job of the parent to teach them how to manage that emotion.

Having their toys/things smashed as well as doors broken is terrifying for small kids. You probably know that this will happen again. And just this on it's own is too much.

molyholy Thu 02-Jul-15 22:03:39

Oh my god. Read your op back and imagine if it was your friend or worse your dd when she is older, telling you that their partner done this to their baby! You even have to ask? This is not acceptable behaviour. If he does this when she is a baby, what is acceptable when she is older? Ltb!!!!

goddessofsmallthings Thu 02-Jul-15 22:29:25

What will happen if you start throwing his toys around and breaking a few of them?

Prisons have no shortage of scum men like him who took their bad tempers out on their dc causing serious injury and worse.

I sincerely hope you know that you can NEVER EVER leave your dd with her father while you go out, or go in another room for that matter.

How old is your dd and what does this 'sleep training' consist of? If it's going to produce this response from him it needs to stop NOW and you need to get him out of your lives asap.

molyholy Thu 02-Jul-15 22:33:34

If that poor child is still in her cot she must be very young. A baby. I am sorry but this op has made me feel sick.

Eminado Thu 02-Jul-15 22:36:04

Oh my! shock

Please make arrangements to leave.

Broke a door?

I agree this environment must be terrifying for a small person.

ashtrayheart Thu 02-Jul-15 22:39:15

Leave, before it's your child he is shaking in anger sad

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Thu 02-Jul-15 22:41:36

This is emotional abuse. She will be harmed by growing up in this atmosphere. You need to take action to protect her.

Limer Thu 02-Jul-15 22:42:43


Nothing a child does should make an adult react like he did.

schlong Thu 02-Jul-15 22:55:03

Ehric wtf are you going on about emotional abuse for? Manhandling a child into a cot is physical abuse. I'm agog. Seek outside help.

goddessofsmallthings Thu 02-Jul-15 22:58:35

This is physical abuse of a child and you should report it to the police otherwise you may not be able to stop him having unrestricted access to your dd including having her for overnight stays when you leave him/get him out of your home.

As it sounds as if you have to tread on eggshells around him, I suggest you call the police or visit your local police station tomorrow and talk to a child protection or domestic violence officer.

You won't be judged and will be given all the help you need to make your home a safe place for you and your dd.

The broken toys and the broken door are your evidence - don't throw them away/repair them until you have spoken to the police.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 02-Jul-15 23:05:30

Op this is too much. Far far too much

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: