Dd is an only child and does find it hard to share. My own stance is that it is lovely to share but a child cannot be forced to share something precious to them and that actually it is human nature to be possessive over certain things.
Thus sounds so petty but the other day I bought dd some Christmas ear muffs. My friend came round with her dd and her dd wanted to try them on. My dd didn't want to let her and said she would get cold ears if she took them off! Now we all know that this was an excuse but my friend got very cross and said to her dd" xxxx is being mean." I was angry that she said that in front of my child...passive aggressive.
My friend told me that if her dd won't share she confiscates the item so no one can have it. I think that this is a great idea when it comes to toys but when it comes to something that someone is actually wearing it is inappropriate. I don't think children should be forced to share new items of clothing or accessories and I didn't want to confiscate them as there would gave been a big tantrum but also i knew how proud dd is of her new ear muffs.
Apparently I should have told dd off for saying that her ears will get cold as this was a lie. She just wanted an excuse not to share IMO. Apparently I do t do enough to encourage sharing when the truth us when the girls bicker I tend to switch off and let them get on with it whereas my friend is much more involved.
I did encourage dd to let her friend try on her head gear and she leg her have a go in the end.
Today I feel like a shit mum who dosnt encourage her dd to share. My friend and her mum said that my dd dosnt like to share and I feel like it's my fault. Am I doing enough? Should I have confiscated the head gear?
Also our parents go out so the are kind of family. I would like them to play together nicely but our girls compete and wind each other up which makes it tense. I do feel like I'm getting the blame surreptitiously for this when IMO the competition between them is natural albeit not desirable. I do try to encourage my dd to play nicely but tbh I feel out of my depth with the dynamics here.
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How do you sort out parenting differences - Aibu?
superstarheartbreaker · 08/12/2014 13:04
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