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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

sex with new partners

52 replies

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 21:07

Before sleeping with my recent man who I'm dating, only had one sexual partner.

I'm not a totally sheltered type but a few things i am not use to.

Hair pulling and lip biting, actual blood from last time kissing( Not true blood type) I'm not freaked out but not sure what sexual reference this kind of thing is in. He's almost a decade younger and seems more domineering than last partner who was probably more wanting me to do work.

My question is, What kind of man likes to pull hair and nibble his woman. He is very sweet and attentive outside bedroom. I am older but not very experienced with this style.

OP posts:

Report

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 12/11/2014 21:09

Do you like it? If not, he shouldn't do it. That's the bottom line and the only advice to give you really.

Vivacia · 12/11/2014 21:12

I can't imagine where a man would get the idea of hair-pulling from

OP if you don't like it, he shouldn't be doing it.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 21:12

I don't want to ask the man out right why he's into pulling hair while getting passionate, might make him self conscious.

OP posts:

Vivacia · 12/11/2014 21:14

Do you like it? Do you want to be, er, fondled in this way?

Don't worry about making him self conscious. If you can't talk to each other about it, I don't think you should be doing it.

Vivacia · 12/11/2014 21:14

Because this isn't about him. It's about you.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 21:16

I am a very strong woman and would not tolerate violence. Just I am not so experienced with all kinds of sex, style's.
If I felt he was being out of order I would say good bye.

OP posts:

Vivacia · 12/11/2014 21:19

Ok, I'll answer/take the bait. My question is, What kind of man likes to pull hair and nibble his woman. One who has learned what he knows about sex from watching porn.

HOMEQCRICH · 12/11/2014 21:30

Gotta.. I could have written this myself. I am currently 'enjoying' a fwb situation with a man 11 years younger than me and its exactly as you describe. Hair pulling, biting albeit gently and lots of ear licking (blech)
He is also the sweetest loveliest man outside of the bedroom...
to be clear I know him well enough to say its absolutely not on (not quite in those terms) and I also came to the conclusion he has been watching far too much porn.

HOMEQCRICH · 12/11/2014 21:33

Also gotta I am not pulling him up either in a negative way as I do not want to make him self conscious. But I am 'correcting' him.

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 21:36

vivacia I am thinking of me but also due to a lack of experience, I don't want to be small minded.

OP posts:

punygod · 12/11/2014 21:40

I quite like hair pulling and ear licking

BitterHoneyGreenNight · 12/11/2014 21:42

What kind of man likes to pull hair and nibble his woman?

A man who has watched a lot of porn.

Do you like him biting you and pulling your hair? If you don't then ask him to stop. This has NOTHING to do with you being small minded and everything to do with having a boyfriend who has watched so much porn he doesn't know how real people have respectful sex.

BitterHoneyGreenNight · 12/11/2014 21:44

Well that's fine if you're into that punygod. But the OP doesn't seem massively keen.

HOMEQCRICH · 12/11/2014 21:46

Gotta.. does he respect your boundaries? Mine does completely and where I have said 'easy tiger' (or words to that effect) he has completed reined it in.
which is why in my case I think its lack of experience and sadly too much porn..
Is he respectful? I personally like a bit of..ahem..rough and ready. . But not straight off. I need to talk about what I am comfortable with first.

Botanicbaby · 12/11/2014 21:47

"My question is, What kind of man likes to pull hair and nibble his woman. He is very sweet and attentive outside bedroom. I am older but not very experienced with this style."

Doesn't matter what kind of man likes to pull hair or nibble his woman. Is there a 'kind'?)

Doesn't matter that you are not very experienced with this style. (Is it a 'style'?)

What matters is that you don't enjoy it, so tell him. Otherwise he won't know. This isn't about him being a decade younger or you being older, its about two people enjoying being with each other. You are clearly not enjoying it, he needs to know. Surprised he hasn't picked up on that fact already.

Tomuchtosay · 12/11/2014 21:55

I sometimes like this in a bedroom. But it would never happen if I had not indicated it to.
What I'm trying to say is HE should not assume it is acceptable to do this to you without discussing it. It sounds to me that it is HIS inexperience in real sex not yours.
To be adventurous in bed takes communication. Talk to him about what he likes what you like what turns him on and like wise.

velouria · 12/11/2014 22:01

Ouch actual biting of lips, that would make me punchy. I have recently started dating too and slept with err a couple of men . I wouldn't be putting uo with that, thry do all seem towant anal though ughh. Some are entirely inept, wonder if thats just normal or porn related.

MirandaWest · 12/11/2014 22:04

Why don't you try talking to him about what you're doing during sex when you're not having sex?

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 22:04

Home I suspected it was a porn thing, he is 9 yrs younger. Its not that I don't enjoy it, its just I'm not exactly experienced. I like that has is taking charge but I just wanted to know where this kind of sexual liking comes from.
I suspected porn because of hos age.

OP posts:

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 22:06

vel No anal yet, but I am sure that's a porno thing.

OP posts:

gottafindaman4yagirl · 12/11/2014 22:15

How do I approach the discussion, I mean without making him feel bad. I would not be seeking advice if I was use to this. I do believe that the generation below myself are too much into porn.
Could. He be a porn addict.

OP posts:

HOMEQCRICH · 12/11/2014 22:23

Possibly. But can you talk to him about it? As in what you do and don't enjoy?
at the risk of making everyone vom with my cheesy line (hey it worked) 'slow down I want to enjoy every little bit of you' or 'gently... I am so turned on I am really sensitive. .'

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BloodFlower · 12/11/2014 22:24

Does he have to be a porn addict to be into domination? Should he be vilified when the OP hasn't even told him she's not comfortable with him doing these things?

HOMEQCRICH · 12/11/2014 22:28

I should add that the man in question that I am sleeping with does respect me and is lovely in every other way
If someone was disrespectful or didnt communicate with me in bed I wouldn't even give him a second chance

jakesmith · 12/11/2014 22:28

Why not say you're not into that? Then he will stop.

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