I feel so bloody stupid, so foolish.
I don't know where to begin, it's such a mess. There was I thinking I had it all, the perfect family, perfect life... but it wasn't.
My stepson abused my children and then I found out that my husband was a schedule one sex offender.
I was pregnant with his child - too far gone to consider abortion - when I was told he had an offence relating to a child. I rang the police and then they weren't allowed to tell me anything due to data protection. So I asked him. He told me something that was plausible, believeable. So I asked his mother, she said the same, then his father, he said the same too. So I believed him, fucking fool that I am.
But it was lies, all lies. He told me that he'd had assessments that said he wasn't a danger. I believed him. Our baby was born and we went on to have another a couple of years later. Her life was based on a lie. We got married. All based on his lies. And still no one told me the truth, until my eldest disclosed he's been abused by his stepbrother.
Went straight to the police, and SS became involed. It was only then that I found out that the man I loved enough to marry was a schedule one offender. What he told me and what actually happened were two very different things.
And his parents knew, and said nothing. His ex knew, and said nothing. And I can't even divorce him until we've been married a year.
SS say he groomed me. Sought me out when I was vulnerable - I'd been recently bereaved - and got me pregnant quickly to tie me to him. I don't know what I think. I'd known him since I was 16, but never knew this.
I feel so stupid, so foolish, so ashamed.
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Everything was based on a lie, and nobody told me. ***Sensitive, potential triggers***
Nofoollikeanoldone · 27/06/2014 22:56
Of course you would! 
Look, this must feel awful, but you really, truly mustn't blame yourself. First of all, you mustn't blame yourself when you haven't done anything wrong, but secondly and more importantly, you need to ensure you emphasise firmly that only one person is responsible for abuse and that's obviously the abuser.
If your children sense you are blaming yourself, they may start to feel guilty as well and feel responsible in some way.
If you do not feel able to approach your SW, Samaritans will be non judgemental and understanding: they can't offer "counselling" but a listening ear. I think you will probably be fine, long term, you sound as if you love your children to pieces and trust me you CAN get through this. Xx
Nofool do you have good friends and family who can give you real life support? I think you need to surround yourself with positive people who will listen and help you process all of this, it's an awful lot for you to deal with.
I'd also be speaking to Social Services, possibly with a view to making a complaint, but certainly to change your social worker. I can't imagine anyone saying that it's your fault you're in this situation. Maybe you did make some poor decisions, who doesn't? and hindsight is a wonderful thing, but you are where you are, you are not at fault and they should be helping you, not blaming you. You are not the criminal here.
Remember to take baby steps and stop being so harsh on yourself, you've been the victim of a conspiracy of lies, but you will come out the other side 
What everyone else is saying.
You aren't the bad person.
If your SW is making you feel like that, can you get another one assigned to you?
So sorry op. What a horrible thing to have happened. 
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