I met C on a dating site, and we've been together for about 15 months. He's kind, caring, intelligent, active, we enjoy lots of the same things, he's fantastic with my son, who has special needs, and I adore his DC.
However, there's one problem which is really getting to me. He has a tendency to get frustrated/cross, and I find it really difficult to deal with. It's happened in various different situations, and some of them seem very minor things from my point of view. I'm not used to it - my previous partners have always been quite laid back, and it's simply never been an issue before.
We've spoken about it several times, and he tells me he's improved a lot from how he used to be. Apparently he used to shout a lot, and he almost never does this now. I appreciate that he's probably much better than he used to be, but at the same time, I hate the fact that nice times can be spoiled by him snapping or being cross about something minor. I think one problem is that we're a bad combination in this way - I admit I'm over-sensitive and very easily hurt, whereas I think many people would just let it pass them by. (I should point out that he's not aggressive, or verbally nasty, usually just a bit snappy, so I'm wondering if it's me making too much of normal behaviour and expecting him to be perfect).
After the last occasion, at the weekend, we haven't seen each other. I've told him that I'm not happy being in a relationship where this keeps happening. I feel this is his issue, not mine, and it's something that he has to work on (if he wants to). But I'm not sure he can work on it while we're together, as I'm the one who keeps on getting upset by his behaviour, and I don't want to continue in that way. I'm also scared it will get into a 'treading on eggshells' situation.
But at the same time, I feel terribly sad about losing this relationship. In many ways it's great, and I wonder if I'm making far too much of a fairly small problem, and throwing away a good relationship over it. He has so many good points, and I know how hard it is to find someone I like as much as him. I'm also far from perfect myself, yet he isn't giving me ultimatums to change or he'll leave me, and I hate the thought that I seem to be doing that to him.
Sorry for the length of this, but I'm feeling very sad and confused, and would really appreciate any views. Thanks.
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Relationships
Unsure of what to do about relationship - any views much appreciated
AndLibbyMakesThree · 27/02/2014 10:57
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