Im trying so hard to feel better to make 2014 better but its not working. I can feel the depression coming back and its pinning me down.
I fill my days, im a single mum to dd 17 months and our dog. I go to college one day a week and just got into university.
I've had lots of threads here over the last twoish years. My partner dumped me pretty much for someone else (afair) when I found out I was five months pregnant. Everything changed, I even took him to court regarding contact and ive tried again several times but he always hurts me and I know im a fool.
yet again when I feel the depression coming he seems to sense it and we get on well.
I believe hes my soul mate and I am moving on or trying to. I tell myself he's not, I try dates I try being alone. My heart wont accept what my head knows.
I try to be happy alone, I muddle along. I have very few friends and no social life. I have a lovely mum and dad.
I can make it through the day but the night comes. Every night. I can't express the loneliness. I can't accept life like this and im peddling to change it but I miss life as it was but I dont regret dd.
I just don't understand I cannot be normal, it has nearly been 2 years.
As much as everyone says time, youll meet someone else yada I don't want to because my judgement must be awful but I am lonely so very very lonely and right now I know im tired so tired but I cannot sleep and theres no one to talk too and I needed to get something out so ive posted here. I know its ridiculous its been two years and I need.to stop bugging everyone with this I feel like a broken record.
I am so so sorry
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I just want to feel better.
MikeTheShite · 10/02/2014 22:34
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