I ended a relationship a good while ago. For the last 2 years of it (which were off an on) he did a lot of stuff to me, including rape (not aggressive or violent, but just wouldn't take no for an answer) grabbing my arms when frustrated, pinning me down, biting me (which was so painful) and coming inside me when I made him promise not to (contraception not working). I eventually ended it for another reason, and I'm not sure I've ever really come to terms with the above stuff, despite counselling. Part of me still thinks a lot of it was not that bad/my own fault.
Recently I have had recurrent nightmares about all these things. In the dreams I am struggling and trying to scream but no sound comes. When I wake up I'm exhausted, and I've found random bruises and scratches on myself, so I think I've been flinging myself around during sleep. Often, I have dreams that I'm pregnant and don't want to be. The acts themselves are mostly not committed by him in the dream, but other men I know, which is quite distressing. My quality of sleep is shot to shit and the dreams make me feel uneasy for hours after I wake up.
I am feeling low now because it feels like even though I ended the relationship, the consequences of it will never go away. I am in a new relationship with a lovely man and sometimes when we are having sex I have what I think may be flashbacks - remembering something that he did. So it is buggering up my sex life as well. I can't tell him about it.
Does anyone have any advice on how I can stop these nightmares? Is there some sort of medication, perhaps? Thanks.
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Relationships
The nightmares won't stop
dreamsdreamsgoaway · 05/10/2013 16:34
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