have name changed for this one and have cross posted to AIBU as I am getting pretty desparate and am struggling to work out whether it is me or him that has the problem - probably both I guess - please do not all just say "leave him" as I do not want to. (That is why I did not post here originally)
I just want to know what is normal for other couples (ie there is a big spectrum and I want to know what is on it IYSWIM).
When we argue (often - at the moment several times a week as are both working stupid hours and not getting much sleep) dh will often shout fck off, fck off" many times and/or call me an fcking bitch. He also sometimes invades my personal space whilst making very aggresive facial expressions. He has never actually hit me but did once (about a year ago) say that he wanted to "push a glass in my face".
Sometimes I can see that I do provoke him (ie I am far from perfect :) ) but other times he will lose it because I do something wrong (eg bump the car or get a parking ticket etc - he will shout that I have "sit for brains" and get really cross (we do not have financial problems so it is not the money - more my falability that he gets angry with - he will shout and shout about my being careless/not thinking/not caring about (my) car etc etc.
He does keep promising to stop but appears (after 15 years) still unable to. Have bought him various books on anger management but he doesn't like what he refers to as psycobabble. Also I dont' want to drive him to a heart attack by making him "bottle it all up" too much.
Anyway I just wanted to know if anyone else has a similar partner - how normal is this?
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Relationships
does your dh swear at you during arguments?
brandnewname · 11/09/2011 18:12
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