My partner of 12 years has recently left for another woman. I found out on Xmas Eve that he had been having an affair for 3 months, and although I made it clear that I wanted to try and work through this for the sake of the family, he left on NYE. He is now renting a flat in the local area, and although SHE was married she is now separating from her husband and spends most of her time living at the flat with him. I have made it absolutely clear that I do not want the children to meet her yet, so up until now she has not been at the flat when the children stay every other weekend.
Although I am trying to make positive steps all the time, he seems to enjoy landing nasty surprises on me all the time. It is almost as if he is punishing me, although all this really is entirely down to him and he was the one who had the affair and left me and the children. He has said that he hadn't been happy for the last 2 years, but I am sure that it is just him trying to shift the blame and making excuses for his behaviour.
We had written an agreement between us in the early days, covering the finances, house, access etc., but (because we were not married and I do not have as many rights as if we were married) I also went to a solicitor to try and make our agreement legally binding. Although he has had a draft copy for the last 5 weeks, he still hasn't been to a solicitor. The agreement cannot be formalised until he has had legal advice, but he is deliberately not doing this. I feel helpless.
The latest nasty surprise is, that I have just found out from the children that he has promised them that they can meet HER in the next few weeks. He had not discussed this with me first, and he knows that I am dead against this - but yet again I feel helpless. Because we weren't married and the children were born before 2003, I have sole parental responsibility - but does this count for anything in helping me to stop this happening. I would really love to hear some advice from you great people out there as to what I should do.
It has all happened so fast, and I am struggling to keep up with the fast pace that he keeps forcing on me. I understand that he has moved on mentally, and he is obviously smitten, but it has still only been just 3 months for me since I found out about all this - and I am struggling to keep making those positive steps when he keeps dragging me backwards to all that hurt and upset all the time.
Sorry to go on a bit - but I would love some advice. Thanks.
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Relationships
HELP please. Can I stop my ex from introducing the children to his girlfriend?
Dumpsville · 29/03/2011 22:21
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