Really, don't write your own description...

[MothershipG]

Bizarre description, obviously written by the owner of £8m house!

He can't make up his mind if he's writing in the first or third person.

Not my cup of tea but I imagine whoever buys it will change everything anyway.

[Herhonesty]

Funny! Totally naff property!

[Fuzzysnout]

Yes, drawers stuffed with biscuits, pasta and flour make it worth every penny of the asking price

[MrsVJDay]

Fraid this is done by these agents, bizarre isn't it?

[PeterParkerSays]

Hey mate, meet my friend the "speech mark". You might find they help with your write up.

If it's his dream / ideal home, why is he leaving it?

[SquinkiesRule]

Weird.
Those red chairs in the lobby are awful and purple carpets Blergh!
You could make a few changes and run it as a boutique hotel. It's big enough.

[Goodwordguide]

The house we bought was first marketed by Fine - absolutely hilarious brochure (they described it as 'high falutin''), cheesy quotes by the vendors etc etc. The vendors swtiched agents and sold it to us.

That house is awful - money can't buy taste and all that...

[Bilbobagginstummy]

What a hideous place. Eww...

[CinnabarRed]

I love it .

Don't have £8m though....

[almostanotherday]

I gave up reading halfway through


How many times do you need a "he said" quote to sell a house

[Flossiechops]

Omg! Classic example of money not buying taste. The Silk Cut carpet does it for me. What a truly dreadful pompous description. I would sack the EA just based on that!

[johnnycomelurky]

I feel like they've hired E L James to do the description as the writing is that poor.

[MothershipG]

They're only selling because their boys have grown up and the house needs a family...didn't you read that far?

What I don't understand if why with all that money you wouldn't build yourself a bit of ceiling height? The godawful decor is easily changed but why would you choose to live in a cave if you didn't have to? It's not like the heating bills will be an issue.

[johnnycomelurky]

50 Shades of Poor Taste

[kissmyheathenass]

Money cant buy you taste! Horrid house.

[MothershipG]

It's the text from the brochure but somehow they've lost the punctuation in the copy & paste, it's not so bad with punctuation.

Do you think they got a job lot of those bendy metal wall lights? They're everywhere!

[Onetwothreeoops]

The ceilings really do dominate most of the pictures, I'm not sure they show the property off as well as they could.

I do like the champagne by the jacuzzi touch!

[culturemulcher]

Woah. I've been in classier nightclubs.

[DeepRedBetty]

I think once you lost some of the more awful decor it might be quite a nice house. But mostly it looks like owners would rather live in Marbella.

[BooksandaCuppa]

That is a truly foul house.

[middleagedspread]

I don't understand what's going on in pic 23. Do those bedrooms not have doors & are they 2 of the 7?
Rather like the walk in wardrobe though.
LOL at the silk cut carpet & accessories.

[RustyBear]

Can you actually get to the master bedroom wing from the rest of the house without going outside? It looks like it was designed for a warmer, drier climate than Buckinghamshire.

And those strange pole-things in the entrance hall look like they belong in a bank with a red cord strung between them.....

[TheFallenNinja]

His wife, who is Swedish, likes lots of light. Unlike British wives who are happy to love in the dark.

It'll never sell.

[Chocoflump]

Middleaged, it's a circular wall with two mirrors