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Really, don't write your own description...

(60 Posts)
MothershipG Mon 15-Apr-13 16:48:29

Bizarre description, obviously written by the owner of £8m house!

He can't make up his mind if he's writing in the first or third person.

Not my cup of tea but I imagine whoever buys it will change everything anyway.

Herhonesty Mon 15-Apr-13 16:56:15

Funny! Totally naff property!

Fuzzysnout Mon 15-Apr-13 16:58:38

Yes, drawers stuffed with biscuits, pasta and flour make it worth every penny of the asking price grin

MrsVJDay Mon 15-Apr-13 17:04:32

Fraid this is done by these agents, bizarre isn't it?

PeterParkerSays Mon 15-Apr-13 17:04:48

Hey mate, meet my friend the "speech mark". You might find they help with your write up.

If it's his dream / ideal home, why is he leaving it?

LifeofPo Mon 15-Apr-13 17:07:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose Mon 15-Apr-13 17:11:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquinkiesRule Mon 15-Apr-13 17:11:59

Those red chairs in the lobby are awful and purple carpets Blergh!
You could make a few changes and run it as a boutique hotel. It's big enough.

Goodwordguide Mon 15-Apr-13 17:12:02

The house we bought was first marketed by Fine - absolutely hilarious brochure (they described it as 'high falutin''), cheesy quotes by the vendors etc etc. The vendors swtiched agents and sold it to us.

That house is awful - money can't buy taste and all that...

Bilbobagginstummy Mon 15-Apr-13 17:12:12

What a hideous place. Eww...

CinnabarRed Mon 15-Apr-13 17:14:43

I love it blush.

Don't have £8m though....

almostanotherday Mon 15-Apr-13 17:15:19

I gave up reading halfway through grin

How many times do you need a "he said" quote to sell a house confused

Flossiechops Mon 15-Apr-13 17:19:13

Omg! Classic example of money not buying taste. The Silk Cut carpet does it for me. What a truly dreadful pompous description. I would sack the EA just based on that!

johnnycomelurky Mon 15-Apr-13 17:24:09

I feel like they've hired E L James to do the description as the writing is that poor.

MothershipG Mon 15-Apr-13 17:24:10

They're only selling because their boys have grown up and the house needs a family...didn't you read that far? shock

What I don't understand if why with all that money you wouldn't build yourself a bit of ceiling height? The godawful decor is easily changed but why would you choose to live in a cave if you didn't have to? It's not like the heating bills will be an issue. confused

johnnycomelurky Mon 15-Apr-13 17:24:58

50 Shades of Poor Taste

kissmyheathenass Mon 15-Apr-13 17:28:04

Money cant buy you taste! Horrid house.

MothershipG Mon 15-Apr-13 17:31:45

It's the text from the brochure but somehow they've lost the punctuation in the copy & paste, it's not so bad with punctuation. wink

Do you think they got a job lot of those bendy metal wall lights? They're everywhere!

Onetwothreeoops Mon 15-Apr-13 17:40:53

The ceilings really do dominate most of the pictures, I'm not sure they show the property off as well as they could.

I do like the champagne by the jacuzzi touch!

culturemulcher Mon 15-Apr-13 17:44:47

Woah. I've been in classier nightclubs.

DeepRedBetty Mon 15-Apr-13 17:46:53

I think once you lost some of the more awful decor it might be quite a nice house. But mostly it looks like owners would rather live in Marbella.

BooksandaCuppa Mon 15-Apr-13 18:37:16

That is a truly foul house.

middleagedspread Mon 15-Apr-13 18:49:00

I don't understand what's going on in pic 23. Do those bedrooms not have doors & are they 2 of the 7?
Rather like the walk in wardrobe though.
LOL at the silk cut carpet & accessories.

RustyBear Mon 15-Apr-13 18:55:56

Can you actually get to the master bedroom wing from the rest of the house without going outside? It looks like it was designed for a warmer, drier climate than Buckinghamshire.

And those strange pole-things in the entrance hall look like they belong in a bank with a red cord strung between them.....

TheFallenNinja Mon 15-Apr-13 18:56:05

His wife, who is Swedish, likes lots of light. Unlike British wives who are happy to love in the dark.

It'll never sell.

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