31/8 Birthday - best to be youngest or oldest in the year?

[doradoo]

Just wondering whether we should put DS1 into a year when he will be the youngest or whether it's better to be the oldest child in a year?

[mrswoodentop]

My son is 2 Sept ,he is oldest in the year and it was the best decision we ever made ,yes he has always been slightly over cooked for the next stage (he is 18 now)but he has never been just coping either ,but you may not get a choice if you are going the state route

[stopthecavalry]

Do you have a choice? Is that not the cut off date?

[shelley72]

can you choose? can you hold them back for a year? my DS friend at nursery was born 31/8 and went to school last september. they were born 2 days apart yet DS has had the whole year without him, still in nursery. from what ive heard he has been fine at school, though he always looked very grown up for his age (size wise) and he had two elder siblings so maybe that helped. i am a sept born myself too and i liked being one of the eldest in the year!

[MiraNova]

You don't usually get the choice - if he's 31/8 he'll be the youngest in the year, as you generally have to be 1st September onwards to go into the year above.

However, if you do have the choice, then statistically it is supposed to be better to be the eldest in the year rather than the youngest. However, that's only statistically, and what's best for your DS could be very different.

DS was due end of August, and was born early September, and so is one of the eldest. He's in a mixed reception/Yr 1 class at the moment, and I think at the moment he has more in common with the Year 1 children than the Reception children - particularly in terms of his reading level and also with his maturity levels.

[LIZS]

Doubt you have much choice tbh unless you are in a private school, Scotland or abroad. If you ever had to swap system you might have issues and at secondary transfer age if he "should" be year above.

[doradoo]

We're overseas and going private and at the moment have a choice - we're poised to change schools and he can go into year 3 - which would be a continuation of where he is now - or skip year 3 and go straight to year 4 which is where he should be if you go by DOB IYSWIM.

He's academically quite able and needs a challenge but not necessarily the most physcially able and probably a bit on the small side for his age.

Decisions decisions.....

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

It really really depend son the child.
DD1 is happier being the youngest, it is more challenging and she needs it (I do worry when we are back in the UK because she will be in the middle but by then she will probably be below average because of the difference in teaching so would have to catch up anyway).
BD was pushed up a year and would have been much better a year below when he would have been one of the eldest. Because even if he was really clever he was really really immature till quite late (still looked & behaved the youngest even with younger kids).

[Posey]

Ooh tricky. My dd, as a young one, had absolutely no trouble as such. Ds is one of the oldest and some of his behaviour I would be inclined to blame on him being a young one, but he isn't (iyswim!) sometimes I think we do put a lot of emphasis on when children are born that actually has no bearing at all on how they'll be.
But I do know many people, especially with young boys, will tell you they struggled settling.

I don't think I've been any help at all have I?

[GreenDragonfly]

My son was born 31st August and is the youngest in his class and for a while he was behind, so much so the school got someone in to test him for specific learning difficulties, but since last year and up till now (year 5) he's more than caught up and top of the class in some subjects.

I must admit though, I didn't realise you had a choice.

[stopthecavalry]

If he is academically able then I would be fine with him being the youngest in his year. He may be frustrated in the year below. Have a bright late aug ds myself and couldnt imagine how he/the school would cope if he was currently in the year below. However my son is less mature than his peers but I hope that will even out later.

[stealthsquiggle]

Ah - independent, so you do have a choice. Instinctively I would say better to be the youngest, then - but possibly not if he will also be the smallest.

Can he go for a trial day so that you can see which group he "fits" best with? That was the deciding factor for my DS although at an earlier stage (nursery vs YR).

[Suffolkgirl1]

Generally I would say it is better to be the oldest but it is worth thinking about your plans for secondary school. If you are planning on staying Indie for his whole school career then it doesn't matter but if you may revert to state later (especially if considering 11plus) then you may find they will not let him start year 7 late.

[DilysPrice]

Statistically it's best to be oldest. For a boy I think it matters more; they're less mature on average and also being good at sports is important social currency in the playground. If you can afford it, and if it will be OK through secondary then I'd keep him back.

[doradoo]

We have a trial day tomorrow in year 3 - he's currently in year 2 so this would be the 'correct' year by DOB - to see how he likes it/fits in there.

Will have to see how it goes.

[mrswoodentop]

Remember if he is the youngest he will take GCSE s at 15 and A levels at 17 ,my ds extra maturity had definitely helped him I think,plus why rush at things all the time.

If going independent the whole sport side of things is very important and being little and not quite so co ordinated wi be a disadvantage

[stealthsquiggle]

If he "fits" with the Y3 group, then I would stick with that IIWY. My DS is up a year, which was and is right for him, but is not without challenges.

[MeDented]

Another toe for being the oldest, why make life more difficult than it has to be. And if he is already in education at the younger level I would be inclined to keep it that way rather than skipping anything, otherwise there is a danger he misses a learning building block that hampers him in lots of other ways over the years to come.

[MeDented]

*vote not toe!

[cazboldy]

i was (am!) 31/08 born....

I liked being the youngest - especially at secondary... you leave at 15! and tbh I think it all evens out in the end, and I never struggled much at all and left with all A's and b's for GCSE's (despite having my ds1 in the first term of Y11!) - not a problem your ds should have!

[permaquandry]

My DC is 31/8 (I couldn't hang on for one more day!!!). To the best of my knowledge, I had no choice in holding DC back for a year.

When we joined the school in Nursery, I was told by a senior teacher it normally takes til around year 2 for the 'younger ones' (April-Aug) to fully catch up. That is taking into consideration we had 2 intakes at the time, so DC only got 7 months in Reception (and 1 whole year in Nursery).

I would agree with this to a certain extent for my DC, who has never been flagged as 'behind' but it took til year 1 to really 'click' with education.

I have asked the question at every parent's eve since Nursery 'can you tell that DC is the youngest in the class, in their achievements and behaviours' the answer has always been no. That is very re-assuring for me/DH. DC is doing really well, is happy and is on course for a 2a in Y2 SATs (despite missing 3 weeks due to illness).

Each child is different though and whilst there are some obvious differences in maturity, had I had the choice, I wouldn't change the year DC is in.

I think it would have been helpful if myself and DH had given DC a little extra encouragement with reading and maths in Reception.

Good luck!

[permaquandry]

sorry x-posted. In light of you already being in Year 3, do yuou think DC is placed in the right year? Ie, any struggling with the work or does DC seem less mature than the rest of the class?

Have you visited the school already? I'm sure you will ask the teachers what they think as they will know their school best and will be able to fit him in the right class.

MY DC is the smallest and is taking a bit longer to be independent but is getting there! I think if DC was the year below, this would have taken even longer.

[simpson]

My DS is another 31/8 and is currently in yr2.

he is tiny compared to his older classmates but is keeping up academically.

If your child can keep up with the work then I would put him where he is supposed to be iyswim ie being the youngest.

[MsIngaFewmarbles]

DS is 30/8 and I do worry that he'll struggle, he's 2 now. He does have 3 older sisters though, which I think will help him. Its a tricky one and depends a lot on personality too.

[BikeRunSki]

Bro is a secondary teacher and his wife is a reception teacher. Both say that, generally, boys do best being eldest in their year. Academically to start with, then also emotionally - an August born 13 yo boy is so much younger than a September born 14 yo girl.

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

i know 3 people born on 31/8

2 are DH's mates from Cambridge University, so it can't have been too much of a problem for them