Star of the week...nonsense!

[bubbles1112]

My dd, is in year 2 and the teacher chooses a "star of the week" each week. Said star then has the class mascott for a week and sits on a special chair in class for the week.
I get it! It's either name from a hat or pick the kids that need most encouragement. However dd doesn't. She breaks her heart and really questions why it isn't her. She is always well behaved and is very bright, but still tries her hardest all the time and I feel so sad for her, bless her.
I really do not want to explain this to the teacher because I'll look like an arse! So how can I help her not feel so bothered?
I wish the school wouldn't bother with this system!

[MaeMobley]

Our school has a similar thing. Over the year all the kids get a chance to be Star of the Week.

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

I know how you feel, we used to have an awful system at school of raffle tickets one being pulled out of the hat at the end of of the week for a little prize!

We now have a much better system It may well be worth going to your Head teacher with an alternative as well as explaining how it is affecting your daughter.

Our school now has a house points system where each child has a card that gets filled up with stickers for good/helpful/behaviour academic achievement. Once the card is full they take the card to the head teacher for a certificate of achievemnt. THEY LOVE IT!! it really motivates them. those who contiually do well get rewarded and those who need a bit of encouragement can be rewarded for smaller achievements.

The overall sound of the star of the week sounds awful to me.

[bubbles1112]

MaeMobley...I know she will get her turn...it's just hard to understand that when youre 6 I guess!
Bythe power' our school does the individual "reward chart" too and they get a certificate....again it seems rather random reasons for moving up! I'd rather they didn't bother!

[workshy]

our school used to have star of the week but the kids who were consistently well behaved were rewarded with a special trip

my DD got to go on a boat ride to see father christmas!

they have now replaced this with 'smilies'
they get one when they are spotted doing something right or for good work/trying hard and can get a maximum of 3 for one thing
these then get stamped onto a chart and when they get 50 they get a certificate, when they get 250 they get a prize
my 2 seem to average 4-6 per day so the prizes are achievable

[piprabbit]

This sounds like my DD in her reception year. Everyone else was getting star of the week, but not her. She was bright enough to know that the standard of her behaviour and work merited the award, when compared with the reasons that were given for other children getting it.

I reassured her that her time would come, that she was working really well and I was really proud of her. There were only 20 children in the class, so I felt sure that her turn would come round soon (didn't say this to her).

25 weeks into the school year (and following glowing reports from teachers) DD came out of school and said that she was going to kill the teacher if she didn't get star of the week soon. .

I decided to chat with the teacher (not mentioning the killing bit). Teacher was mortified, she had forgotten DD entirely. DD was star of the week the following week. (DD did not know I had spoken to the teacher).

Not convinced it was the best bit of reception year .

[bubbles1112]

I feel so sad for dd. But I will look such a wally if I say something to teacher! I tell her she's always my star of the week and I'll print her a bloomin certificate if it helps. Aghhhh it's never easy is it?!

[babycham42]

My gut says that piprabbit has the right idea. If it's affecting dd so badly surely it can't hurt to explain this to the teacher so her 'turn' can come a little sooner....I just think it's so important for them to love school if at all possible and it seems it would really help her out in her situation.
I know it's probably not right but I think it's what I'd do nevertheless.

[bubbles1112]

I feel myself edging towards it but I would have to ensure teacher knows that, myself, I do not give a monkeys! I know my dd is fantastic and I really don't need her to be star of the week for my sake.
Thank you for replys. It's nice to have some reassurance.

[workshy]

does dd realise everyone will get a turn, and that some children that aren't as confident etc might need a little more encouragement?

[babycham42]

Well,exactly. It's not like you're demanding it or being pushy.Perhaps you could just explain DD's upset to the teacher and let the teacher come up with a/the solution if you don't feel quite comfortable.

[zipzap]

At ds's school (infant) they have special person of the day, who gets the special seat, to take the register to reception, to be at the front of queues etc. It's usually done in a known order - so alphabetically by first name or surname, height, age, etc so all the children know and look forward to their turn. Plus it helps reinforce the alphabet etc and different ways of sorting a group.

But because it is done for a day it means their turns come around much more quickly. Occasionally say they did it by first name then by surname you might get a Zack Adams who would get two goes very close together but then a bigger gap. But as the kids all understand that they are working through the class each time it's fine. And much better than doing it either for a week at a time or randomly/as a reward at this age too.

[someoneoutthere]

We are having the same problem with dd who started reception in September. At the moment all the stars of the week going to the children who are crying for parents or who needs extra help. I have been trying to explain to her that her turn will come, but I think she is feeling left out. She is very well behaved and independent, I really hope it does not affect her confidence.

[LingDiLong]

OP please, please don't go in and ask, beg, or cajole the teacher to give your child star of the week. Yes it's a shame when your kids get het up over this stuff but the rest of the class are no doubt getting het up too - what if all the parents go in?? This is all part of a learning curve for your dd, just like she had to learn to share as a toddler, now she has to learn to take her turn with things like this and to be happy for her friends when their good behaviour is recognised. She won't learn any of this stuff if her mum marches into school and tries to push her to the front of the queue. It's really not a big deal, it won't affect a child's confidence as long as she is generally being recognised and encouraged.

[cjbartlett]

Fgs dont mention it
Her turn will come!

[flipflapcatflap]

Agree with cjbartlett, please don't say anything. You are only a few weeks into the new school year - so if she gets it next week say if you nag the teacher then what about the rest of the year?

Not getting star of the week will not adversely affect a child's confidence for goodness sakes. If there have only been only a few weeks in the term so far then the majority of children in the class will not have been given anything yet!

In the scheme of things it is no big deal

[GuillotinedMaryLacey]

Was going to say what about any other child that doesn't want to wait until it's their turn? They can't put them all in for next week. My niece's school (and hopefully dd's) have child of the week as well as smaller accolades and it seems to work really well.

[bubbles1112]

Like I said, I know full well her turn will come...but when she is preoccupied with it after school, over the weekend and saying "nobody notices me at school" what do you say? I've been saying your turn will come, etc, etc! She is bright enough to realise who the kids that are getting it first are....the ones that are the hardest work...not the hardest workers!
Get rid of it for me, personally I think it's silly!

[popadop]

Would you be saying the same thing if your child had been star of the week twice already?

[bubbles1112]

Yep! I think it's rubbish. The kids have an individual reward chart thing so I really don't get the need to single one kid out a week. That's one happy child and 29 disappointed ones. It is pointless because we all know everyone will have a turn but when you're 5 or 6 it means so much more!
If she had had it twice already I'd be saying that was seriously unfair

[dizzyday07]

They have a similar system in DD's school and the Star of The Week gets to take the class teddies home for the weekend.

What my DD was in Reception there was 28 kids in the class - so she had to wait a whole 6 months to get her turn - as she was picked last! Yes she was a bit disappointed every Friday when it wasn't her - but it was worth the wait when she was picked.

[Groovee]

They did this in a P1 class which I worked in. Each child got a turn and the previous special person picked out of the box who the next one would be. The previous one then went on the wall.

In my children's nursery they had best listener of the week and it went in alphabetical order and one mum near the middle tantrumed every week because her precious child hadn't received it and would tantrum all the way home.

[CecilyP]

The problem with 'star of the week' is that it is so all or nothing. A cumulative reward system seems far better.

It also seems fairly random. It is hard to learn to take your turn when you have no idea when your turn will be, or whether you will even get a turn. So Bubble's can try to reassure her DD that her turn will come, but meanwhile, DD is trying her best to behave like a star, while watching other decidely less starry children getting the award.

And what if all the other parents do go in? Why not? You are not demanding your DD is made the star. Just saying that the system upsets her.

[pinkgirlythoughts]

We don't have 'star of the week' as such, but everyone gets to take the class teddies home for a weekend. Although we give a reason why each child has been picked (worked hard, helped someone who was upset, etc), in actual fact we use a class list to tick off who's had the teddies and who hasn't, so we can make sure everyone gets a go. It's not done alphabetically, so as far as the children are concerned it seems to be done randomly, but rest assured, we teachers know exactly who still needs a go!

To be honest, a mum who came in to ask me to pick her child next would make me want to leave her child's turn a little bit longer!

[ceebeegeebies]

DS1 is in Y1 and they have 3 weekly awards - Star of the Week, Friend of the Week and Busy Bee of the Week. No idea how these are allocated but DS1 hasn't had one. Although, DS1's teacher seems a bit 'dizzy' and I am still not convinced that she actually knows who DS1 is so I am not surprised that he hasn't got yet!!

I do accept your point about it being very important to your DD so I can see why you want to do something but I do think that the teacher will think you are being a bit precious if you mention it to her this early in the year.

[queenebay]

I hate star of the week and teachers award. My dd has been bullied since the day she started in yr 2. I was horrified to find out her bully got star of the week last week. What about the good kid who gets on with her work-she has to wait her turn.