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Why do people want a third baby?

(65 Posts)
pongonperdy Wed 03-Nov-10 13:43:32

That didn't come out quite right. What I mean is what makes some people want to have three children rather than stopping at two. I have two, a girl and a boy. Everyone just assumes that I want to stop at two since I have one of each. To be honest we probably can't afford another baby but it's strange the way people assume. Do most people who have three, do so because they are trying for a boy or girl or have they always wanted three.

IngridFletcher Wed 03-Nov-10 13:46:16

I had a boy and a girl and just felt like the family was not complete, that there was someone missing. I now have another boy (who was a really difficult baby but is now a total delight) and I feel the family is definately complete. I know I have had enough of the baby thing too!

reddaisy Wed 03-Nov-10 13:48:56

I have one DD at the moment but I have always wanted to have 3 children. I think it is because I am one of three and I like the idea of my own family being a bit of a "gang". I mean that in a non-hoodie wearing kind of way!

Sadly DP already has a teenage daughter and only wants us to have two. But we will see wink

mummysleepy Wed 03-Nov-10 14:03:11

I am one of 5 and always imagined having a big family (like 4 or 5!). Reality set in and I realise that 3 will probably be our limit. I have 2 boys and am 11 weeks pregnant with no.3.
I really don't mind if its a boy or girl but am preparing myself for a raft of people asking if we are hoping for a girl this time!

Our family just doesn't feel complete yet

nancydrewrocked Wed 03-Nov-10 14:10:10

I have always liked the idea of a big family - a busy house with long Sunday lunches where everyone calls in smile . I always had 4 in the back of my mind but that does seem a bit excessive sometimes.

I had DD then DS1 close together. DS2 was sadly stillborn and I am now pregnant with DD2 and very seriously contmplating another as soon as this DD2 arrives as there will be a 5 year age gap between her and DS1.

That's the long answer - I suppose the short answer is that 2 just doesn't seem enough!

pongonperdy Wed 03-Nov-10 14:10:37

That's just it, I have this feeling that there should be someone else tearing around. DH thinks this someone should be a dog not a baby. My family all think our family in now complete.

pongonperdy Wed 03-Nov-10 14:12:27

The other point is if we had a third would that be enough, got to stop somewhere I guess.

alfabetty Wed 03-Nov-10 14:15:40

I see this from the other side - most people have 2 (as we do) and I don't understand why people constantly ask if we'll have another! It is a more unusual thing to do.

But we are stopping at 2, I do feel my family is complete and we're past the baby phase. I feel like it is time for us to move on as a family of four people, rather than two adults and toddlers/babies. My DCs are 3.5 and 6.

But DH works long hours, I work p/t, and I don't hanker after 'babies' as some people do. So for me it was a relatively easy decision - despite being one of 6 myself.

Violet5 Wed 03-Nov-10 14:17:23

I have 5, soon to be 6 children and i really don't understand why people feel the need to ask why i didn't want to stop at 2 ? I have been asked several times in the past and i find it such an odd question.
I love having a big family and i'm not on benefits.
I know so many people seem to think that 2 is the ideal but i think it's personal preferance. I will have 3 girls and 3 boys (all being well) but i haven't kept going for a certain sex,that they're healthy is all thats ever concerned me. I just love having my children and they love that they have each other. I will be stopping at 6 though as our car/bus will be full grin...oh and my husband hopes to retire one day too,before he's 100 smile

NotShortImFunSized Wed 03-Nov-10 14:18:07

I wanted a 3rd as I had a new partner and we wanted dc's together. That and the constant broodiness I had.

Unfortunately broodiness also explains number 4 & 5 grin

MiasmARGGG Wed 03-Nov-10 14:21:17

H.O.R.M.O.N.E.S !

monstermissy Wed 03-Nov-10 14:21:46

Well ive got three and i always wanted four, i would love to have had another however we can't afford to.

Celery Wed 03-Nov-10 14:24:03

I had a boy and a girl, and just wanted one more baby. I was worried that my broodiness would never stop, and after having a third, would want another one and another one, but the family does feel complete now, and the broodiness has gone, which I feel happy and relieved about.

lizziemun Wed 03-Nov-10 14:39:56

DH not getting the 'snip' done when he said he would grin.

jennifersofia Wed 03-Nov-10 14:44:39

I just didn't feel done. I felt that if I didn't, and looked back when I was 60 I would feel sorry that I hadn't. I wanted to mix up the 2+2 dynamic. Nothing to do with wanting a ds (I have all dd's). Not much logic in it, just a feeling.

2greatboysandabump Wed 03-Nov-10 14:46:42

I have three (DS3 22 weeks). Always wanted 3 but did have to pursuade DH. We weren't trying for a girl and would have been happy with either. We were over the moon to have a third DS and he has completed our family smile.

To be honest though he hasn't stopped the broodiness but we are definately stopping at 3 for financial and practical reasons.

boogeek Wed 03-Nov-10 14:47:36

I found it so bizarre that when I was expecting #3 everybody assumed the only possible reason might be that I had two girls and ergo was desperate for a boy. You could go on for a long time like that and what is so great about "one of each" anyway?
Like the others, just didn't feel done. Now I do.

GuyFawkesIsMyLoveSlave Wed 03-Nov-10 14:51:55

We have a boy and a girl and I am currently 24 weeks with #3. We dithered a lot, and I know that financially it's probably a really daft decision, but ultimately, possibly because we come from families of four and three children, we felt that we'd always wonder if we didn't go for it what that third child would have been like, and that once the DCs were a little older it would feel as though there were someone missing.

This is definitely it for us, though.

MrsJessRabinovitch Wed 03-Nov-10 14:51:56

Yes Celery thats how i felt-we just didn't feel complete after DS1 & DS2 - I am 1 of 3 and my DB is my half brother and was brought up by his mum so I always felt there was a bit of us missing when he wasn't with us so maybe thats why with my 2 DC I always felt there was something missing.....anyhow I was lucky enough to have my beautiful DS3 and feel totally complete like our family is right! Unfortunately, yes, I did get the rally of questions when people found out we'd had a boy "awwww did you want a girl?" errrrr no I wanted a happy healthy baby & look how lucky we've been! Have also been asked if I will "keep going" for a girl ARGH! Sometimes I just give people a look other times I will explain that I wanted 3 DCs regardless of gender....I don't think they believe me though !
Sorry op that was a very long winded answer I will step slowly down from my soapbox;)!

Carikube Wed 03-Nov-10 14:54:19

After having DD2 I just couldn't imagine that that would be the last time I would be pg/give birth (odd really, given that I don't enjoy being pg and after two trips to theatre have realised that I'm not very good at this childbirth malarkey). She is only 5 mo now (and DD1 only 19 mo) so I'm not too rushed but at the same time I don't want to hang around too long before DC3. No prefernces as to sex - DD would probably be easier as we've got more girly stuff than you can shake a stick at...

MamaVoo Wed 03-Nov-10 15:05:36

The question I find more intriguing is why do people want a second baby? Why is two the norm? I only have one child through choice so am obviously not wired the same as most people, but I'd love to understand why two children is seen as the 'normal' number.

IWillCountToThree Wed 03-Nov-10 15:57:24

We got a lot of hmm looks when we decided to start trying for DC3, and people automatically thought we were after a boy. I didn't care what we had especially as i bled so much through the pregnancy. So long as baby was healthy!

We had DS1 13m ago and my family feels almost complete. We're not ruling out DC4 for another few years yet.

I get the impression that as long as you have one of each any more is being greedy! 1 is good, 2 is lucky as they'll always have a playmate, and 3 or more you're a glutton for punishment!

Loopymumsy Wed 03-Nov-10 16:24:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pongonperdy Wed 03-Nov-10 16:27:46

My husband was one of four and he sees it from the other side. He always feels he was under resoursed in terms of material things, holidays but also his parents attention.

My children would prefer a puppy rather than another sibling. I just think having another would be for me rather than for them.

Violet5 Wed 03-Nov-10 17:06:57

Depends on personal experience i guess, my friend is 1 of 7 and loved/loves it. Infact i'm always quite envious of her (i have no siblings) and she always has someone to call on or call on her and they help each other out with childcare lifts etc and they're all very close to their parents too.
I think 2 children can miss out on material things and parents attention every bit as easily as 4,5,6 children depeneding on the parents. I live near a lady who has 2 lovely children she is always busy farming out to anyone and everyone so she can go 'clubbing' ! and she holidays without them too.
Parenting and providing can go well or badly due to the parents more often than the number of children in my opinion.

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