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October 2012 babies part 2: winding, yawning and grizzling, and first smiles?

(1000 Posts)
YompingJo Tue 13-Nov-12 05:20:10

Part 2: in which our babies learn to sleep through the night and make us tea in the morning <hopeful face>

smileyhappymummy Wed 14-Nov-12 21:27:02

I think we may have embarked on the 6 week growth spurt. Today she has fed, cried and slept a bit. None of this nice calm alert time. Oh no. Has been glued to my boob since 5.30 now. Not sure I'm looking forward to tonight.

Beeblebear Wed 14-Nov-12 23:53:54

I ate in a restaurant today for lunch with Ds. I felt part of the human world again. Maybe next week I will think about mom and baby cinema next week

OctoberOctober Thu 15-Nov-12 03:26:10

livvy glad you have the mat nurse tomorrow, maybe try and get some sleep whilst she is there? I feel for you with the nct group, I had a similar thing last week where all other babies angelicly sleeping whilst DS howling, and I mean howling. confused Bit concerned that now I've stopped bf I eon't have an easy way to placate him when out and about. May resort to taking out dummies, even if I was staunchly against beforehand. hmm

Agree with crazy that it is worth seeking help where you can, which you're already doing with mat nurse, but also get friends to help out if poss, even if just popping round for an hr, will make you feel more sane to have company and break up the day.

squid, in awe of your physical activity, definitely something to aspire to! I went for a longish walk today for first time in months and actually felt great for it. So glad to have lost the pregnancy breathlessness!

Also, DS seems constipated, hasn't done a poo in 2 days which can't be healthy or comfortable. All advice online seems to relate to bf babies saying it is fine for them and that ff babies more likely to be constipated. Fine, but how long is ok, what should I do about it? Have tried tentative massage but don't think I was doing effectively. May call HV. Tomorrow to check if normal although my experience to date hasn't been great with them. hmm

Have switched formula brands to see if that makes any impact.

Anyone else ff had similar?

Smorgs Thu 15-Nov-12 07:45:01

Hmm ok so Smorglet appears to have read the baby whisperer. As of midnight yesterday he's fed every three hours on the dot. The activity/naps aren't quite there yet - didn't sleep at all in the morning had about half an hour over lunch so I went out for a very long walk all afternoon to get him to nod off so he didn't get overtired, stopping once to feed him on a bench. Then home, bath time, cluster feeds (ok he didn't manage the ambitious half hour nap between cluster feeds but hey) and I even managed to eat dinner uninterrupted. He was a little bit hard to settle a couple of times overnight but otherwise I don't call that too bad. Still flipping exhausted though.

Interesting to read all your thoughts on the 'bland food if breast feeding' debate. Being out here means I pick up far less advice on things like that from friends/family/nct so when a midwife tells me something I tend to believe her. Should have known better since she looked sceptical at my using infacol and gave me some herbal tincture based on caraway and wheat germ to use?!

Smorgs Thu 15-Nov-12 07:49:02

Oh and our little art house cinema does mum and baby screenings. I looked through the schedule - no Skyfall but lots of documentaries on climate change, gm food and general 'the end is nigh' stuff. Like that's what you want to sit through when you've just brought a new life into the world confused No, I want Daniel Craig in pants please.

YompingJo Thu 15-Nov-12 09:33:38

Seconding the request for Daniel Craig in pants!

bella2012 Thu 15-Nov-12 10:19:26

hi all,

thank you thank you so much to everyone who offered dympathy and support during my meltdown the other night. You all understand more than anyone in RL. Thank God for my Mum who came down yesterday and sent me to bed for an hour. I felt so ill yesterday, sick and fluey but am much better today after a better night so think it must have just been exhaustion. Isn't it weird what lack of sleep does to you? It distorts everything so you just feel like despairing at everything. Am so relieved that the fog has lifted a bit and am so grateful for everyone who replied to me.

livvy my heart goes out to you and to you too crazy on what you went through with your ds1. I think vrazy has offered some great advice there livvy, seeing your GP sounds like a good idea. I am so sorry you don't have more family nearby, that must be so hard. And I am in the same boat with a dh who works 3 evenings a week, which I find really waring so I totally sympathise and second crazy's suggestion that you try hard to keep seeing friends and groups where you can. I know that you have moved recently so don't have good friends nearby, but do persevere with baby groups and things, they aren't all as bad as poor huffle's bf group. (sorry that was crap huffle that is bad lucck xx) i loved baby massage firstly because the class was great but also because I really liked the other Mums there. Some groups I felt like evenryone knew each other and it was hard to fit in, so just keep trying things out.

squid and angelico donlt stop posting! Reminders that life will improve are the best thing right now!

midget you are such an inspiration. I wish I was coping as well as you with 2! Love it that you have been to the cinema-awesome. Although even daniel craig in pants does not stir me right now-HV etc keep bombarding me with info about contraception and I keep thinking how far from my mind that is right now!!

smileyhappymummy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:25:05

So excited. Baby smiley has just napped for 2.5 hours in her carrycot! before, she has only really napped on me or in her sling so this is a big deal! The miracle was achieved with the help of the Dyson - got her off to sleep and then turned it on again a few times when she looked like she was stirring.
I can recommend hoovers!

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:33:00

smorgs you're brilliant. Climate change docs. Basterds.

Good work beeble! I did morrisons on my own Monday. Ds not quite 3 weeks at time. Close ended in disaster due to lack on £1 for trolley but got through it. Amazing how stuff you wouldn't have batted an eyelid at pre newbie now can destroy your confidence and sanity..

Hope you're feeling better bella. Its total wank being I'll with newborn. Current paranoia of mine is sneezing has buggered lady garden healing. Mw tomorrow.......

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:36:04

Whoop 'smiley' that is fantastic :-) !! Hope you got sleeps and/or cuppa. Bugger housework.

I have just over blowdried my hair. Worth it for as asleep in the Moses basket.. Now waiting for amazon Ewan the sheep delivery due today!

smileyhappymummy Thu 15-Nov-12 11:45:35

I had several hot cups of tea. And a piece of cake, and read my book, and baked biscuits. Ewan rocks but is a bit quiet for baby smiley. Better for maintaining Dyson-induced sleep than getting her to sleep in the first place.

AnneH656 Thu 15-Nov-12 11:54:04

That is brilliant.....i say as sit to drink cold blinking coffee....

Good to note re Ewan. Have feeling will be the same :/

LoopyLa Thu 15-Nov-12 16:18:37

I'm having just a fucking awful day...again in fact as yesterday wasn't too spectacular either sad

Baby Loopy has been unsettled all day & although DH is working from home & I wanted to do everything myself to prove (to myself) that I could look after him without help, it failed spectacularly. I haven't been out for days & when I thought I should take the baby out for a walk, he completely cracked up & screamed the house down - which upset DH & me too sad So ended up staying in...again

I'm also beginning to get really fucked off frustrated that I can't do anything without it taking major planning - a shower, the washing up, sterilising the bloody bottles for the billionth time angry I need 10 minutes to myself.

I may have PND or I might just be really knackered - but how can I rest when the baby rests if the baby doesn't want to bloody rest?!?

On top of all of this, I'm dreading my mum coming visiting next week, no doubt ready to criticise everything I'm doing & seeing how badly I'm "coping".

Bollucks, I want my old life and even just to write that down makes me feel ashamed of myself & tears are pouring down my face sad sad

Sorry for the me post, I just needed to get it out somewhere.

cheesymonster Thu 15-Nov-12 16:42:30

Loopy I could've written your post - unable to settle DD and don't know why, not getting showered or eating until afternoon, being cooped up indoors. DD1 is 4 weeks old and I have felt just like you. It will get better for us when we find our routine I promise. Just wanted to send you a hug.

crazypaving Thu 15-Nov-12 17:25:57

Loopy I think it's normal to want your old life back - it's a huge upheaval and change, and for a while everything is unrecognisable. You'll get into a pattern soon, but it takes a while to come to terms with the change and I think in a way to grieve for your old life and the freedom you had. This is the worst part - you'll get there. Poor you though, see if you can get a minute to yourself while DH looks after your baby. Big hug xx

Katla Thu 15-Nov-12 17:36:23

Found you all again - Yomping love the thread title - how fast it moves... Welcome to the new people and hugs to Bella and Livvy who sound like you are having a tough time - I can say things improve/change all the time (Erin is 5 weeks old tomorrow and there is light emerging) - although each day is different but repeat 'this too will pass...'

Huffle wow, I thought my birth story was quite bad (must post it sometime) but yours sounds even worse. I can second the feeling of being 'let down' by your body - mine didn't dilate fast enough and I had to get a hormone drip, epidural and ended up with forceps (narrowly missing getting a CS). Also I ended up in the tena lady as well blush - quite a surprise having no control over peeing at all - although much improved now (thank God).

Squid very impressed at your exercise routine and good to hear your positive stories. I agree with 'hypnobollocks' grin but it was good to at least make me feel that I could cope with labour, even be looking forward to it, as it neared - it was bloody useless during it, but then you are just concentrating on dealing with what's happening at the time.

Smorgs my DH takes Erin for a couple hours before midnight - that is a lifesaver to surviving the night and Erin is definitely worse at grizzling/crying in the evening. I take it as a trade off for being good at night though so am thankful that it's DH's shift too!

Wantan presentations and college - impressed that you can manage anything like that - I can barely cope with keeping a track of the shopping list and remembering to take it with me when I go... smile

Loopy hugs, I know what you mean that you feel that you can't get anything done - even easy things like getting dressed or making dinner is so hard when they won't stop crying or sit in the bouncy chair. I hope you find that your mum's visit gives you a break if she takes the baby for a while so you can have some you time. My mum came and entertained Erin this afternoon so I could blow dry my hair so feeling much more human now - otherwise dry shampoo is a god send.

I've had a mixed few weeks - made it to see Daniel Craig in Skyfall with DH - there was about 50 babies there, which would have been my idea of hell in a previous life - but I was so happy to be there although some of the dialogue was obscured by bawling (not Erin though who slept, fed once and slept through the whole thing, even the gunshots...) How can that be when she is roused by such tiny sounds when napping in the house?? Not fair.

She has gradually been sleeping longer stints at night - we were up to feeding at midnight, 3:30am then 7:30am for two nights (I thought 'I've cracked it!!) but last night she was up wanting fed every two hours. However, I think I'm really lucky because she settles very easy in the moses basket - I just feed her and chuck her in it and she either sleeps right away or grumps/squeaks and kicks for ten minutes or so and then sleeps. She doesn't cry at all at night and even drops off if I change her nappy. She's not so good during the day and I struggle to get her to nap in her pram and she cries a lot more to be held but I'm not going to complain about that. Hopefully she's just having a growing spell now (5 weeks on Friday).

BF is going well - clearly nipples are just conditioned now as she can chomp on them without pain any longer and I've fed a couple of times in public places but don't feel that confident about that bit yet. She's also speeded up that she can drain a boob in ten minutes - although my right one does comical 'sprinkler' effect spraying everywhere blush

I wanted to ask - are you putting your baby to bed at a particular time? I just take Erin when I go - so anytime between 9pm and midnight - depending on how I feel/ what's on the telly. When do they start being put to bed at a particular time?

Best go now - Erin is wriggling and making noisy stretching noises beside me so it'll not be long until she's demanding food...

meepsmum Thu 15-Nov-12 18:17:44

Hi. Im new here...all your posts have kept me sane during night feeds...Meep is almost 5 weeks now and thankgod ur all going thru the same things i am. This is most amazing thing as well as being the hardest and most horrifying!!!
What i cant get my head round is how i will ever get anything other than feeding and changing done. I dont cook anymore...cup a soup for lunch was a challenge today... Thankfully my mum comes on mon and tues. I eat properly then!!! Im lucky she is close.
Sleeping is up and down. Last night fed at midnight, 3 and then meep ended up in our bed as just doesnt settle in moses...and feed hourly til morning. Feel guilty and wortied about cosleeping but only way to stay sane. Also give him dummy now...again guilt guilt and more guilt!!!
Also i feed him pretty much hourly from about 6 pm....will it ever stopt???? Still he is healthy baby and has put on almost 3 pounds since birth... I should be proud of my boobies but just cant imagine havibg a life ever again.
Dont even start on my terror of going out and him screaming whole time. It terrifiesme.
Sorry about me me me post. Thank u all for sharing ur experiences. Got to go... Meep grizzling as left him in moses sleepingor 10 mins whilst i do this..
God i love him though. X

hufflepuffle Thu 15-Nov-12 19:40:17

Is there something in air again?? God, I am having shite day too after shite night. Nips still feckin agony. Now hav rash on boobs, tummy and legs, itching like hell. Back finally protesting at weight of this little man and he has been cross as a weasel and refusing to sleep
Most of day!!!!!

Aargh!!! Will stop before I rant on. Think we are many on same wavelength. Everyone I meet says to treasure these early weeks, they go so quick. I wish they would bloody hurry up and that my bloody body would get used to everything it having to cope with. Oh and not panicking about rash as hav GP apt tmrw to check all sorts. Assuming is a reaction to some medication or just plain stress. If is more complicated it may just push me too far.

Selfish post blush Hugs to all xx

hufflepuffle Thu 15-Nov-12 19:43:25

Ps Katla so jealous that your LO settles self in basket........! I am pleased that BF sends mine to sleep and sometimes rocking and shhhing will do it. But if I set down even vaguely awake we hav screaming match!!! Wondering how the heck we ever change that but not going to try until we all feel more sane!! Lucky you!! X

squidkid Thu 15-Nov-12 19:55:25

Had a lovely day, when I was working hellish 90 hour shifts last year I always thought maternity leave sounded blissful, and it's suddenly becoming so, now the feeding / sleeping has settled down a bit. Jess needs feeds every 2-3 hours through the night but boyfriend does the last one of the day with a bottle of expressed milk (if I get round to expressing that day) and she is usually settled through the night so that's fine - better sleep that I've been getting previously really. Her most fret-y time is 7-9pm, and that's when boyfriend takes her... blush

So yeah, this morning I was like, huh, I can do anything I like as long as I take a baby with me - last year I would have killed for this extended free time. I drove out to the Peaks singing loudly to her and went for an autumnal hike, few hours through a forest with views over the reservoir. When I walk, Jess just sleeps - for hours. Every single person in the world seems to smile at a girl with a baby walking through a forest.

Came home, fed changed ate etc, watched cheesey film on the sofa with cups of tea, jess wide awake and doing hilarious expressions and smiling at me lots, boyfriend came home from work, made pasta, giggled over a glass of wine taking it in shifts to hold the baby.

I could get used to this.

She's 6 and a half weeks... three weeks ago I thought my life was OVER and cried all day every day. It will get better, guys.

squidkid Thu 15-Nov-12 20:07:37

loopy this bit is SO HARD, i felt exactly like you did, a prisoner to the baby, wanting my old life back.... and after puttin g up with pregnancy and all its restrictions for months on end as well, it's like, what the fuck have i done!!!

but i just found baby squid started smiling, and i am beginning to master the new skills needed, and everything just seems easier now. i still have down times, but i also spend hours of the day enjoying her in a way i just couldn't at 3 weeks when everything was so damn hard!!!

i hope you feel better once you manage to get out, i found that massively helped. Baby squid was a bit tricky and cried a lot in the pushchair, but she sleeps almost every time in the sling.

crazypaving Thu 15-Nov-12 20:37:27

Hi meepsmum and welcome!

bella2012 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:40:39

thank you so much squid you have made my night x

Zaxter Thu 15-Nov-12 20:55:15

Wow, so much on here since yesterday, when does everyone get the time to post? Thanks so much for the comments re food and breastfeeding, and great to read that MILs seem to rub us up the wrong way as a matter of course. I am starting to get used to the contradicting advice at every turn now - midwifes at the hospital said completely contrasting things and then Pakistani lady in the chemist today said that in Pakistan new mothers should eat 'light' while offering me a chocolate biscuit (she insisted they were 'light' ones??)!

Londonlivvy, what you are going through sounds really tough. Not been on here long so don't feel like I know you but agree with everything everyone has said. The only thing in this life we can be certain of is change. It will change. Try and hunt about each day for any little thing that is better than the day before - it might be something ridiculous like your breakfast tasting nicer - whatever, in 24 hours there has to has to has to be at least one tiny little thing...somewhere.

I am a bit scared thinking things are going to get worse (6 days in not toooo bad) but hey, I will try and focus on conserving energy for when that time comes. I am relieved to read that lots of you have screamers/won't settle in the evening. The days have been ok, sleeping, waking, feeding, being happy but alert. But the evenings are a cycle of little sleep, scream, head bang my boobs rather than drink (anyone else's do that??), scream - fart etc.

I thought I had perfected the balancing of computer alongside babyzaxter but it is now being booted out of way as she stirs again ready for the next screaming fiesta I think.......

Katla Thu 15-Nov-12 20:58:50

Huffle thanks, it is just luck I think rather than my baby wrangling skill and new in the past week only, I discovered it by laziness when I was knackered and laid her on the basket planning just to leave her to grizzle for a bit at 4am as I couldn't be bothered more rocking and walking the room to get her to sleep - and she dropped off within a few mins of me putting light out. It only works if I switch off all lights - that seems to give her the message that it's night because it doesn't work in the day.

I'm so excited - my sling has been delivered today smile. I joked to DH that I could take Erin in it when I was riding my (poor neglected) horse - I think for a second he thought I was serious... grin

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